Can someone tell me to 'man up' or just hold my hand until April...........

[happydotcom]

Hi. I'll be going back to work this April when DS will be 10mth.

He's a PFB and will be an 'only' due to my age / fertility issues. I'll be going back 3 days a week, working from 11am-7pm and my DH will pick him up at 5.
Nursery called today to confirm his place and I just feel so so sad - it's come around too soon! I've left him with DH and my parents before and he's be fine but will often ask for me ( but not seem distressed). He's fine with other babies and other people except MIL but the thought of him being away from me, he won't know if I'm coming back , not settling, being upset etc etc etc..............

IS anyone else going back to work in the next few months?

Yes, me and I'm dreading it :(

My PFB will be 10.5 months when I go back at the end of March. Going back part time isn't an option at the moment, so she'll be going to nursery full time. It makes me feel wretched just thinking about it for all the same reasons as you...

I need a lottery win and fast!

Star I'm going to choose some numbers for tomorrow night's draw!

Me too. Fingers crossed!

I know it is not meant to be done here as we are meant to be 'having it all' BUT Poor you, no manning up in order it is a horrible situation to be in. I know you know your baby will be fine but really it is heart rending to leave them when they are so little. Please don't spend the rest of the time you have dreading it happening (easy for me to say) and best of luck, it will be rough at first but it will get much better really quickly.

I so know how you feel! I am due back at work in April and even though I've been on a waiting list for nurseries for nearly a year and I've always wanted to go back (so I've been aware this day would come)......once I got 'the call' I felt all tearful :( Now it's finally happening I have worse case scenarios playing in my mind! We are checking it out again this week together so I can judge how he will be before I make a final call, but assuming it will go well.......I'll still be worried though!

Do you have a 'phasing' in period you can do before? That might help?

Thankfully you're only doing 3 days at work! But I'd imagine it will be the longest 3 days at the beginning........

I'm trying not to think too much about it and will take it a step at a time. I'm sure they will love it........ knowing my luck maybe a little too much and then he will be bored with me on the days he's not in nursery!

As long as you feel happy with them and they do what you want, then it should be fine. You can even do spot checks on them to make sure they are! I plan on hiding behind a bush all day so I can keep an eye on it!! :OP

It's tough, but like my friends say, you have to keep reminding yourself why you're doing it and that it will be good socially for them! :) I hope!!

Good luck and let me know how you get on...........x

I feel your pain! Had to return at the begining of the month when dd was just 6mths. It's hard! She is dc3 and the boys both had 12mths at home bit sadly not this time!!

Me too, I'll be going back in April PFB will be 10 &a half months, am dreading it. Only other with luck.

As parents we have all sorts of responsibilities, one of which is to push our children slowly but surely, and always positively, towards the edge of the nest.... so in the future they will fly confidently.

Rather than worrying and feeling guilty about leaving your child at nursey when you go to work, try to see the situation positively - it may help if you recognise that you are enabling your child's independence.

So true Kathryn
The nursery runs settling in days which I hope will help. I got the confirmation for his days today and the bill for the first month

All above posters - please let me know how you get on, as will I

xxxxx

I am back in April too, dd2 will be almost a year, which I am immensely grateful for, dd1 was much younger when i went back. No childcare set up yet so I am slightly panicked! It gets easier, but I still find it really hard tbh even after 3yrs of it with dd1. They survive, thrive in fact, just us who are left with the issues, I really hate it .

It is so hard leaving your little one for the first time and going back to work. I used to be deputy manager of nursery and the most important thing is that you feel comfortable with the people who will be looking after him. The nursery staff should be well trained and experienced with this sort of thing. (your not the first and you wont be the last!) So I would call them and let them reassure you. What is the settling in procedure? Nearer the time Ask if they do a home visit - to get a member of staff to come to your home to see what your baby is like in his home environment and answer any questions or concerns you have. Ask them if you can do more settling in. The better bond he has with a staff member before he stars the happier he will be then the happier you will be. I hope it works out for you guys - in the mean time, enjoy it!

You will be much more upset than DS will be I CAN guarantee you that. Both DSs went to nursery and loved it. Your DS will be just fine. I promise. If he cries just walk away and don't hang around. The nursery staff see it all the time and once the parents have gone the children quickly settle.

Plus side is you will really enjoy DS when you see him at the end of each day and earn some cash too.

I've been back working for a while and it was hard at first, but it gets easier and in fact I enjoy it (just don't tell the kids :) )

I'm going back in April too, full time, DS qill be 8 months. We've got a nursery place sorted and it's lovely but I don't want to go back! Would also like to win the lottery so I can stay at home with him! I'm also feeling that people are judging me for going back to work, my dad keeps making comments about women with babies working do they can keep up the holidays and manicures. No, it's so we can pay the mortgage and put food on the table

Sorry, bit of a rant there!

Itstime So true re others judging especially MIL but I can't rant as DH is sitting next to me!

I'll join in the hand holding, i'm back to work middle of march, dd pfb and only will be just short of 10 months. My mum and dh will share childcare, terrified how dh will cope as he rarely changes nappies and its always me who gets up in the night.
When i go back i'll be away from home retraining for at least 3 weeks possibly six and dreading it. We are musing over dh bringing dd down and hiring a cottage or just making do with weekends. I won't get my roster for another 3 weeks so can't plan yet.
Looking forward to end of may when i'll be part time, working 5 days on 5 off, this will still entail up to 4 nights away as i work long shifts 100miles from home(unless i get the location change i'm trying for). Quite how we'll cope until then i don't know. Dh will be working a maximum of 3 days a week.

I just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel but I promise it does get easier. I went back to work in March 2010, so my daughter has been going to nursery for nearly 2 years! I have no idea where that time has gone!! It was really hard at first as she had just been very poorly and in hospital with rotavirus. There were lots of tears (mine) and even up to the week before starting I was panicking about had we chosen the right place for her.
We had settling in sessions where I could stay and gradually leave and for the first few sessions she cried when I arrived to collect her, all a bit confusing I guess for an 11 month old. BUT hand on heart I can say she loves going to nursery, she loves the staff and has lots of friends. My guess is she would have been a sociable child anyway but there have been so many positive things we have seen in her development due to her spending time with children her age and slightly older.
During first few weeks we phoned a couple of times a day just to check in and got brilliant feedback when we collected.
I remember feeling like I was on a countdown from January but try to enjoy these months with your child and if you can push the nursery to the back of your mind as much as possible. I do know it is hard, it is completely unknown but like people have said we do what we have to do and 2 years down the line I know 2.5 days a week at nursery has been beneficial for my child and I hope it is the same for yours.

I hear you itstimetoburn- my mil thinks I shouldn't be working with 4 kids. That lovely and all for her as her dh kept her but we can't afford that (nor would I want it). She doesn't have a clue about the real cost of living so I'm trying to ignore.

Anyway I've settled 3 in nursery and no.4 will be about 9 months I think. It really does get easier and they love it (ok a few wobbles at the start) and they get so well socialised.