please help - i need to help DS write an email to his boss.

[ThatVikRinA22]

i know this sounds mad that i am saying this, DS is an adult but - but DS has aspergers, dyslexia and dyspraxia. He is at university full time, studing computer science but has a small part time job. This is now a massive problem and its causing him much anxiety and upset, but he cant afford to tell his boss to stick it.

DS is just 20, but due to his disability he acts much younger, is easily intimidated and never stands up for himself. He is actually quite vulnerable.

The job is for a local guy who is an internet marketer.
When DS started, it was just a few bits of programming for pin money. He didnt pay him anything like minimum wage. DS has no contract.

DS is a very talented programmer, and the guy he worked for began to up the ante - asking more and more of him, but never increasing the pittance of a wage he paid.
After 18 months of this DS asked if he would pay him min wage - he was paying him £250 per month, to get to min wage, he had to pay him £100 more taking his wage now to £350 a month. He works 18 hours a week for this, but often actually works more as he does quite a lot from home.

His boss came to my house and said he would not put DS under pressure and that he knew his uni work had to come first.

He has not kept to that. He has gradually increased and increased the pressure and workload, even asking DS to manage a team of programmers based in India on various projects. DS could not do that, and felt a failure until they took it off him, he has told me that the indian programmers do things differently and it doesnt fit with his coding, so he has to go through it all and change it etc etc....but his boss doesnt seem to understand this.

DS has just rung me in a massive state of anxiety because his boss and his daughter are badgering him and threatening him becuase they want something completed to sell it, (this project was DS idea incidently) they are emailing him at college, saying they have "had enough" and asking him if this is "too taxing" for him.
DS says this was meant to be a practice version so there will be mistakes in it, but he says he can fix them. He has asked his bosses daughter to run it and give him feedback - but they seem annoyed that it has some bugs and issues that he needs to fix. He clams up when they get angry and cant explain himself or defend his position.

i am sat on my hands, resisting the urge to send an email on DS behalf.

DS has not told them of his disability for fear they would let him go. He has only just told me that.

When DS gets home after uni tonight, we need to compose an email to his boss, what is the best way to go about this? Should i step in now and let the email come from me?
or is it best if it appears to come from DS himself?

i am so fed up of them using him like this. They are paying an college kid, with no prior job experience, he isnt a professional programmer, and they are paying him peanuts, and expecting perfection. I also think that DS now needs to tell them that he has these disabilities and that they are making him very anxious.

This was meant to be a little part time pin money programming job, and its morphed into something ridiculous. I really feel i need to step in.
Should i?

right - job done. im going to copy the email and i would love it if someone could just check it over an give me an opinion with any glaringly obvious things that i have either missed or shouldnt say....

thanksHello Tom.

Its Vicar here, DS mum. I realise that this is going to look a little odd, given that i am emailing you, but i think you should be aware that it is with good reason. I have always assumed that you were aware of DS disabilities, perhaps you are, perhaps you are not. DS has been quite cagey regarding telling people in his adulthood, because of the possible repercussions.

DS has Asperger Syndrome, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia. This does not mean that he is not a fully functioning young adult, but it does mean that he has problems with anxiety and does not handle stress terribly well.

Today, he rang home in quite a state of distress with regard to the emails that he was copied into and which he has shown to me.

I have talked to him about this latest project and i would like to spell a few things out, because when he is put on the spot as it were, he cannot, and never has been able to, answer the points or explain himself.

Firstly, i understand that this piece of code has never been the finished product, and was intended for XXX to test and feed any problems back to him for him to "fix". My understanding is that there is no more coding to do, and when the fixes are sorted it will be ready to present to XXX on Thursday. He has also explained that this project has changed considerably from the first draft in terms of the features required and the number of them. He is quite happy with this, and has explained that this is just part of the development cycle. The reason there is no stable version was covered in an email from DS. Were this the only thing that DS had to worry about and work on, then he has said, and i believe, that he would be on top of things and coping with the demands of this project.
He has however also had a heavy workload with regard to his university projects. You may remember that when you came to meet with me and my husband, you assured us that his studies and education would take precedence over his part time job until such time as his education is finished.

DS has been reflecting on how the remit of his position within the company has altered since he first began this part time work. In the beginning, you employed DS on a part time and flexible basis, knowing full well that he was not a professional computer programmer, but a self taught student who programmed in his bedroom. Since that time the job has changed to the extent that he has even been expected to "manage" a team of Indian programmers, whilst still having no legal contract of employment and on less than minimum wage for his age range, and he still is, in fact, earning less than the legal minimum wage, despite him negotiating a pay rise with you last year.

Now i realise that the situation with the Indian team has changed because DS did not rise to that particular challenge, but still, i feel that that was an awful lot to ask of a part time employee in these circumstances.

DS would very much like to remain in your employment, but i do feel that he needs to find a more realistic balance between his studies and his part time job and how anxious this is currently making him. He is going away to university full time in September, and i have wondered what arrangements he would need to make in order to make this work, and have urged him to discuss this with you in good time. I think he daren't do this, because he feels that you are currently very unhappy with him.

I have, so far, stayed out of his working life and have not wished to interfere but seeing him today in such distress has prompted me to contact you as i don't believe that DS would have explained any of this to you, and my feeling is that you need to be aware.

The emails that i have seen today indicate that you have clearly "had enough" and this, coupled with the fact that xxx also made his position within the company feel under threat, has made him feel very insecure and therefore unable to discuss things, least of all his disability and how it affects him. I think he has wanted to tell you for some time, but is in fear of how this information would be construed.

or something like that anyway......help me! im not sending it as a formal letter or anything, just something on DS behalf to try and get the message across.
what do you think?

Hi VicarInATutu,

Have PM'd you - hope that is OK!

thank you - ill go check inbox....

pm'd you back and so has DS....thank you LapsedPacifist.

also need to reiterate that DS wanted the letter to come from me and not from him, due to his sending repeated emails which very eloquently explain things from his pov - which he never received a reply to.

he showed me his previous emails, i had not realised that he had tried to sort this himself first. His employer ignored them.

DS asked for this one to come from me, and realises the implications of this. I think he is just relieved for someone else to take over.

He isnt bothered any more what it looks like.
and he isnt bothered if he looses his job now - and as he pointed out to me - if he is sacked he has the code on his own server

he is actually a very clever boy!

i sent a bit of an amended version of the above email - ill see if we get a reply.

thank you to everyone who replied - i didnt want you all to think i was wantonly ignoring your advice!

and thanks also to those who pm'd - most helpful.

Good on your son for asking for help vicar I know my brother (and me, many many times) has ploughed on regardless getting more and more in a tizzy because he just couldn't see how to get out of a situation. Him recognising he can go to you, and being able to see and accept the consequences is actually a really good thing.

Hope that didn't come across as patronising as it really wasn't intended that way, promise :)

well, ive got a reply but i feel he is giving me the brush off.

He says he has a contract printed and ready for DS to sign.... - ive told DS to bring it home first and not to bloody sign a thing until ive looked at it

He says he is paid the minimum wage and is expected to manage his own timetable....would someone please tell me how £350 exactly equates to the min wage for a 20 yr old because i cant - the hourly rate for 18 - 20's is £4.98 - however i work this out it doesnt add up. He is paid at the end of the calender month - so if he works the requested 18 hours per week it should be more, if he does 17 hours per week - it should be more than £350 and if he works 16 hours per week it should be less than £350....

He goes on to say that DS has been "inconsistent" for a number of months and stops communicating

He says at first he wanted DS to manage the project, and says he is capable but it s not a "good fit" for him right now so says he will give him singular modules to work on and if i want to discuss how his role is evolving i can meet with him.....

now - before i fire an email back, could anyone please give me a bit of a heads up as to how to do this - my first email wasnt done from a very professional stand point - i need some legal speak in this one i think.

He isnt bloody paying him min wage at all - lying git. And its funny how he just happens to have a contract now after 2 1/2 sodding years isnt it?

im really very and i dont want to send an email back until ive got some advice....can you help me ladies please?

...oh and no mention of his uni work at all in the reply....i know why DS goes quiet on him. its when he is pushing and pushing and pushing him and he has uni assignments to do aswell - he tends to ignore things when he gets very stressed....but at least he ignores him and does his uni work.

just spoken to DS....he says at the moment he owns the code - if he signs a contract then his boss will no doubt own the code....

should he sign a contract in that case? im lost....

bump....

dont want DS to sign a contract that ensures his boss owns his arse....

yet he has worked for this guy for 2 1/2 years with no mention of a contract - i sent an email yesterday pointing out that he is working illegally and now suddenly he is drawing one up.

something just isnt right about any of this and im trying to do the right thing by DS without losing him the job by telling his unscrupulous employer what i really think of him....

the guy pays him via paypal. no pay slips. He keeps him under the threshold for paying any NI or tax.

pays him through paypal?? never heard of that!

I think as you say he is keeping him below tax NI levels so he doesn't have to have to bother.

it is standard that as an employee any code written would belong to the company, i write that into all our employment contracts.

I think have a look at the contract, and see what you think. I would be happy to look at it for you if you like.

Then if happy with that i would email back and include a breakdown for NMW to hilight that your DS does not currently recieve this.

thanks sazzy....i would really appreciate someone checking it over - when and if he ever gets it.

have pm yopu my email so if you get it you can send it over. I write these for a living so know all the sneeky clauses that can added in (shock)

thanks sazzy - thats really good of you. ill give you a shout when/if he brings a contract home.

ive told him not to sign anything yet.

ok, he has come home with a 30 page contract

i would really love to have this looked over please - i can already see things in it that im not terribly happy with.

he says he should work a min of 15 hours (fine - puts him in NMW) but then goes on to say he is basically liable to have to work more if his boss wants him to to complete projects etc - no mention of more money for this.

Also something about licensing agreement which entitles his boss to 15% of anything he uses outside of this company....

Sazzy - im going to get DS to scan this into his email and then forward it to you if you really dont mind looking at it.

its too complex for me and i dont work in this area, and DS is sooooo bloody naive, bless him he believes what ever he is told.

ill PM you when its winging its way over....thank you again for all your help.

(im actually wondering if we should get a solicitor to look this thing over....)

reading this im getting mad

says he is paid x a week - yet he pays him at the end of every calender month. means dS is working days each month with no pay

says something about a job description - yet he hasnt got one

says he can have 12 days holiday per year

i could go on....but he wont be signing this i dont think.

This is way over my head now but just wanted to wish you and DS luck with sorting this out.

thanks fuzzpig

just realised the 12 day hol is pro rata but the other stuff is dodgy - is selling this licensing thing to DS by saying he normally has a "do not compete" claus in the contract - but this licensing agreement is very ambiguous....also has told DS that if he works with anyone whom his boss introduced him to that also entitles him to 15%....

also wondering how DS would prove that his ideas are his own and not related to the company - this is like intellectual property law and im in over my head.

this was meant to be a pin money thing to help him through uni....

I seriously think your DS would be better off no longer working for these people from now on.

They are clearly happy to break the law and exploit his lack of experience. They also appear to be unprofessional and shoddy in terms of their software development practice. Your DS will not be learning any useful skills from them, and will probably just get into bad habits. They won't give him a good reference when he looks for other jobs, and it may be that the work he's producing for them isn't of sufficient quality to make a good example that he can show to other firms.

If he really is a talented programmer, there are plenty of better paid jobs out there with reputable companies who will train your son properly. He needs to start looking around shortly for a summer job with a good company, with a view to getting a good job after he leaves University. A lot of programmers have Aspergers and other conditions such as dyspraxia and dyslexia, so this shouldn't be a problem - with a reputable, well-managed software company.

TBH, I would imagine that your DS is actually the one in the position of power here. I imagine that there's no documentation for the code, and very little useful commenting? If your DS leaves, they will have to pay someone else to figure out what he's done, and then complete the job. Programmers don't like to have to take over something unfinished, so they'll have difficulty finding someone to do it. Your DS could therefore negotiate a much better position - although it may be that these people are too stupid to realise how much power he holds. However, I still think that these people are unscrupulous and unprofessional, and that your DS should simply leave.

thanks - i know you are probably right, but he is worried about not having any money to see him through the rest of uni.

He does not realise that he has options no matter what i say - he didnt even realise that he doesnt have to sign either this contract or the licensing agreement....it just didnt occur to him.

He sounds really talented and it I really hope he can get another job somewhere. He probably won't get references from this guy if he is dodgy - I had this problem with a similar situation and I don't think she was paying my tax, and I nearly missed out on my current job because of her lying about me (she got her DP to say she was no longer working there, and that I had never worked there!)

Sorry for waffling, I'm just saying these things can continue being nasty after they're over, and I really hope your DS will find somewhere else ASAP. I can understand him finding this difficult though :(

this wouldnt be a problem if he had left uni i dont think - he could get a 'proper' job, but im not sure if he would struggle in finding such flexible part time work that fits around uni - thats the trade off - but i just want him to be treated fairly and not to be so stressed with it.

tbh im sick of it - if i could afford to give him £350 a month id tell him to leave this in a heartbeat.