Flexible working request rejected

[boredbuthappy]

I'm sure I can't go anywhere with this now, as I hot-headedly resigned from my job this morning, but I really want to send a message now. Basically, I have worked for the same company for 6+ years and had a baby last March. I put in a request for flexible working (3 days a week) back in early December. We've had the face to face meeting 2 weeks ago and it was clear from the meeting that they were not happy with me doing 3 days a week. Reasons: I wouldn't be there when deadlines were to be met (architectural firm), I woudn't be able to stay late when deadlines were to be met, I would need to be briefed coming back to work form my 'days off', pulling people from other projects to do my work when I wasn't there would be added cost to the project.

They then came back to me and offered me 3 full days a week plus 2 non-sequential half-days OR 5 days a week working 9:30am to 4:30pm (normal is 9 to 5:30).

I had initially requested 3 days a week because my LO is 10 months old. I cannot put him into nursery 5 days a week. I enquired with the nursery about the extra half days and although they could take him, the cost was nearing the price of a full day anyway, so not worth it in my books, when taking a 20% pay cut.

I then went back to my employer and requested they accept a 4 day work week, and they said no outright. 3 full days and 2 half days or nothing, pretty much.

There are about 6 other women withing the firm who work 4 days a week, one that doesn't even have a child.

This doesn't sound very cooperative to me. I feel like I was stupid for handing in my notice when I was very angry, but I dis, so what's done is done. Just looking for opinions on whether anyone thinks this was unfair or justified...

Thanks for reading.

Not really easy to tell how justified they were to refuse your exact request, but they offered two compromise options which sounds fairly cooperative to me.

What kind of 'message' do you want to send? Presumably you've done that by resigning? Or do you want to see if you can retract your resignation and appeal their decision?

Sounds like they had good business reasons and offered you a compromise.

You had right of appeal before you resigned, which you didn't exercise.

Sending them an embittered message now won't help anyone and IMHO will just make you look stroppy.

Do you think the reasons the have given as written out in your OP are correct? If so that looks fair enough to me. You only have a right to request flexible working - you do not have a right to have it granted. However, reasons for rejecting it must be fair.

I'm going to be quite firm with you now because if there is anything to be salvaged from this you need a couple of things. I can see nothing in your reasons for requesting flexible working that show how it might benefit your employer too. You having a ten month old will not be important to them. Nor will what they have arranged with others be relevant. You sound very entitled and that you are only seeing things from your point of view. Terms like 20% pay cut when you are not having your pay cut... you are having your hours cut so it's fair enough they won't be paying you when you're not working do not make you look reasonable.

Now while I understand that you are (quite naturally) approaching this from an emotional point of view if you are to get what you want you need to start thinking from a business point of view. It is not too late to try to put things right - if you want to.

If you want you could ask to withdraw your resignation. Explain that you were upset and you acted in haste. Then you could appeal the flexible working request but you would need to think of ways round their current objections so that you both have an outcome you're happy with.

Sounds to me that they have been quite reasonable tbh. Not sure I understand why 4 days wouldn't work for them. But you have been rather hotheaded to resign - could you retract your resignation and appeal the offer?

I did the hot headed resignation and from a career pov have regretted it ever since. I got another job doing 3 days for a client, but I spend a lot of my working life wishing I was on the other side of the fence. However, when at home on my days off I am happy with my choice. So hard!

If i were you, I wouldn't like the 2 half days option as you would still have to get up and out for work/nursery and would be knackered to do much with baby in the afternoon so you might as well be FT.

I think you need to ask to ask yourself if you'd be ok doing 4 (I wasn't as 4 in my old job would have been slave labour as no one would have cut my workload) or if you're happy being a SAHM.

Could you explore nannysharing for a while if you're worried about FT nursery?

Call your boss and say you'd like to have some time to consider your options. If they like you and value you, they will let resignation drop for now at least.

Hope it works out for you.