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I had a row with my previous boss after I left.... Can't ask for reference

30 replies

pud1 · 14/01/2012 16:31

dont know what to do. I left my last job 3 years ago to be a sahm. I had bought some tickets from my bosses ( company owner) friend for a concert. After I have left my boss said that I only had given the money for one ticket. I know I had given him money for two. We had a massive row and he actually called the police as my oh called him and told him he was going to go to his house to get the money back. Boss told police that ph had threatened him, he had not and the police couldn't do anything. Anyway i am now not able to get a reference. I know that they will not be able to put anything too bad but i don't want to ask for one. I am sure this story would not sound great in an interview. So wwyd.

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 14/01/2012 19:04

LaCiccolina, I'm not sure that's true about legally having to give references. When I last managed people - albeit five years ago - it was fine, but rare, to refuse to give a reference. I think my department manager only did it once, and that spoke volumes. And as I said before, it doesn't have to be positive.

I'm sure an HR expert will come along soon to give us a definitive answer.

reindeersledder · 16/01/2012 14:42

Small aside following on from how the discussion has went after the OP's post...

I once worked in a very large (think, national, 1000s of employees) company, did an amazing job for them, stayed 5 years, and received many a personal email asking me saying what a cracking job I'd done and how I'd really done well with the limitations my dept had e.g. from senior management.

I then went to work in a much smaller team outside of my normal industry (but still within the same role - think accountant in a large retail chain vs. accountant in a 3-branch chain of local accountancy practice, that sort of thing).

And lo and behold, almost got my "subject to satisfactory references" job offer withdrawn, because the reference they got back apparently stated something like:

"Miss Reindeer worked here from X to Y. The reason for her leaving was resignation. Signed, Joe Bloggs."

... and they assumed there was some story that I wasn't telling them Shock Apparently the office manager at my new place hadn't ever received such a straightforward reference before for that level of position in the company, good job they contacted me to ask what the deal was.

In the end I had to get my HR contact at the old employer to send a small note explaining that it was company policy to NEVER give out personal references, and the XY date thing was the only thing they were allowed to send out, and wasn't a reflection of me specifically.

It was especially galling to think that, had I been a crap employee (but not crap enough to get fired) i'd have still got the same two lines written about me. talk about a kick in the teeth after all my hard work Sad

Now that I have a bit more experience of different employers, I realise it isn't really that unique, but I did feel aggrieved for a couple of years after!

flowery · 16/01/2012 14:47

Just to clear up the legal stuff.

No obligation to give a reference at all, with some exceptions in certain jobs where there is a risk of a legal claim if you refuse to give a reference. But basically, an employer can refuse if they want to.

No law saying you can't give a bad reference, that's a total myth. A reference must accurately reflect the employee and, to avoid legal vulnerability, be based on substantiated fact. So if someone was really bad at their job and you have records of attempts made to bring that to their attention and improve it, it's ok to say so. Similarly if someone was dismissed for stealing, you are fine (and one could say legally obliged) to say so.

having said that many employers choose to give dates only as it's a bit of a minefield.

OP is there a prior employer you could use?

pud1 · 16/01/2012 14:53

Flowery. I ran my own business for 3 years before that and the job I had before my own business was all over the tv when all staff got sacked by text and the owner ran off with all the staff (1000's of us) tax and ni contributions.

OP posts:
flowery · 16/01/2012 15:51

Have you got clients from your own business who would give you a reference. Prior organization would give you at least a dates reference surely- their bad behaviour in the press wouldn't go against you and they will have records and presumably an HR dept to field a reference enquiry?

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