Teachers - is the work/life balance possible?!

[reastie]

Have just this week returned from maternity leave and have to admit struggling to keep up with everything. I'm working 2 days a week but over 3 days, so theoretically I should be fine . I've always been the type of teacher to be quite organised and efficient and likes having everything thought through and planned - I'm not the sort of person who can wing it and succeed sadly.

When I'm working it's a rush to get to work on time and get dd ready etc, then I have to rush home to collect DD as am relying on family to look after her who have lives want me to be as quick as possible so they can go out etc. I've been going into work at least half an hour early and staying an average of an hour later this week (plus going in last week for the morning). I've spent in the last 2 days over 3 hours working from home.

This isn't just me getting up to date, this is me prepping/marking/doing paperwork etc and I'm making a big effort to be more laissez faire in attitude now as I know I can't be as fastidious as I used to be. Based on when I used to work (part time) pre DD I would stay in maybe 3 - 4 hours in school a week more than needed to do this type of thing and a morning a week on my day off.

I think I just forgot when returning how much out of the class room stuff I do and now I have no idea when I can do it with DD and if I'm ever going to have a life with DD as I'll either be thinking about when I can try and work when I'm with DD or at work or working at home. Feeling quite weepy as I want to try and make this working mum malarkey work for us.

Is this a common problem for teachers returning? Are there obvious corners I should be cutting or things I should or could be doing to make things easier?

It depends on so much, your personality, the nature of the school you teach in, your ambition, your subject and your position.

For me in my school, in my position, for my subject no. Although if I worked 2 days over 3 it would be in more control, especially if I was a standard school teacher rather than in a management position.

I do little hands on childcare during the week, dp does everything and works part time , in part, because of my workload. I am a perfectionist and although I work much less than I used to I find it hard to let go. The books have to be marked pefectly, my resources have to be great etc. If I let my standards drop I do not enjoy the teaching.

I know colleagues with children who do have a work life balance, although the number is shrinking.

I do not think it is unique to teaching, I think many of us work too many hours and our relationship with our children is affected by that.

I have accepted that my shelf life in teaching is approaching, which is a shame as I am good at my job and I love it.

I'm curious what people might do if they get out of teaching?

This is a working mother issue not a teaching career issue surely? You need appropriate childcare for the hours you need to work not fir the hours you are actually at work - have to say your dh and mum don't sound very supportive of you working

I would love to get out of teaching but don't know what to do. I work 3 days in a primary school as a job-share. This year is a bit easier as DD has started pre-school so I have some time then but I inevitably spend a good part of that time working. When I am not working, I am thinking about school and what I should be doing.

tether I made noises a year before my return date to have my days on 2 days not 3 but it's a timetabling matter and looks unlikely to every be on 2 days . I should be glad it's not over 4 days though - in the past at this school I've had a 2.5 day timetable spread over 4 days

using this is my thought - I'll never get this time back again and find it so precious I sob at the thought of work stressing me out so much I miss the things that matter (I'm an easily stressed/anxious kind of person)

kellog I relate to that - I'm a perfectionist too and if I can't get things organised as I wish it takes all the joy out of my job

using my specialism is food tech and so I could use that to do relaxed childrens week end baking sessions once a week or after school activity once or twice a week or even a pre school fun cooking class weekly in a few years. This would make it easier for DH to do child care and although still have planing, as it would be less sessions a week and fun practical not working out theory and how to cover it etc would be even more enjoyable than now (can you tell I've thought about this alot?!)

jellie DH and mum are v supportive of me returning, maybe it's just as I forgot and didn't expect so much extra time would be needed. DH wants me to return just doesn't want to use nurseries etc for dd . Dmum is giving up 2 mornings a week when initially she only said 1 morning, so I'm grateful she can do this and don't want to overstep the mark further IYKWIM.

pudding this is what my life has become in the past week and tbh it's not what I want for my life. I know some people can just switch off and not think about it (like my DH) but I can't do that

Oooh I like the idea of children's baking sessions :)

jelliebellie I think the difference is the work you do outside of work iyswim. If I was only doing 8:30-5 and leaving work at work I could cope no bother, although I'd still hate leaving the Dds. But another few hours on top of that every night, 6/7 nights a week...it kills me! Plus there are times of year when you factor in extra time on top of that too, eg report writing is approx a 70hr job. I hate having to miss out on time with my kids eg getting dh to take them away on a Sunday morning, we should be doing stuff tOgether then

Hi Reastie,

DH is a teacher (FT class contact plus tutor group and student UCAS advisor). He covers our school run every morning (kids go to breakfast club for 25min 3 mornings a week when he has meetings) and he collects them at 3.30pm 3 afternoons a week. I cover the other two and he works later on theses days (faculty meeting one evening, teaching the following).

Due to this DH has to do between 1-2hrs prep/marking two evenings he is home and he gets up early (5.30) two mornings a week to do 90min before the kids get up.

That way he get's to spend time with us and we have our weekends for family time.

Wow - that's fab that he is able to do school runs. The secondary schools I taught at started at 8.30 so I would need to be in school by 8am - the pre-school clubs don't tend to be open before 8am so I will need to drop at a childminder who will take them to school.

After school - school finished 3.15, so sorting out classroom until 3.30 and then we had an informal gathering until 4 in the staff room. Staff didn't leave before 4 as there was competition with the buses and most staff stayed until 5. I don't know anyone who was able to collect children from primary schools.

He has managed to make that work quite well :) I am impressed!

caz well said - this is why I'm struggling.

Reastie why don't you stick it til Easter or the summer and if you still want to give up as much as you do now then just do it. I had 4 years at home with my children but was very lucky in that my school offered an unpaid career break. It was hard financially, meant we were stuck in a small, cold flat and couldn't afford to move until I went back to work, so oldest dc had to change schools. And my career is pretty stuffed, I enjoy teaching but I doubt I will ever get promoted now. But I am glad I had that time at home with my dcs when they were little. Giving up is a gamble but maybe the right one for you?

bea that was exactly what I have decided - definitely give it until easter and try and stick it to see what I think in summer.

Using - the bonus is that the primary school is next door to the secondary he teaches in. They have their 'gatherings' in the mornings (hence breakfast club). He then takes the dc's back to his work and set's up for the morning before they all come home at 4pm.

We are very lucky, but we did also choose the dc's school to suit the job.

I have a dd who is a year and I've applied for PGCE and GTP. Would you guys recommend leaving it a few years - is it too stressful with a baby? I'd really like a career, especially in teaching, but am terrified about signing up for something and missing dd baby years....

reastie thank you for starting this thread - I'm thinking of going back full time to independent sector and wondering if I can take my DC with me to deal with some of the childcare issues - its good to hear from other teachers about how much out of school work they do _ i'm working P/T at the moment and DH doesn't understand that my salary covers the hours I work not just the hours I'm in school - he resents the time I spend at home working because he thinks I'm not being 'paid' for it - as I do school hours at school all my other work is done at home - a lot in other words - I'm not a class teacher so have the luxury of only having to be in school for school hours but I'd quite like the 'luxury' he has of staying in the office till late finishing off work not having to fit it around after school commitments, friends for tea, bath times and general tantrums , shopping and everything else I have to do at home!

Thanks clutter - my Dh is the same - he can't get his head around that I'm paid for the job and that lots of work from home etc is just part of this. I'm really struggling and I'm considering trying to move to the learning support dept in september to have less hours and less stuff to take home but I'm not sure as they won't know until september if they can offer me any work and I have to offer my notice at easter - I'm not sure I can risk having no job so just don't know what to do

learning it depends on your situation - what you're doing for childcare, whether you will get the chance to get any work done at home, how supportive your dh is etc. After you've done the years training you could do part time. The training year is a hard old slog but once it's done you have alot more flexibility. It might even be possible to do a gtp part time if you could find a supportive school

Another food teacher here!
I have two dc. Both just started school.
I left my job twelve months ago.
Worked first four years part time and it was a huge struggle.
Easiest year was last one when I did not have GCSE classes, can you ask for this?
Nightmare when children sick or childcare let's you down.
Working pt I felt a bit left out, social events etc.
Always working one day of a weekend.
Heavy evening commitments were hard, as I always had to arrange childcare. Partner works evenings.
I have absolutely loved not teaching the last year, life gets busier (I think) when school starts.
Downside, do miss teaching at times.
Enquired with a teaching agency who said that after 1year I was out of touch! I would need to do a 'return to teaching' course before schools would take me seriously. Ten years of teaching don't count !!!!
It's all really hard but think if you stick it out and work it to your advantage it could work. Good luck

Reading this thread and thinking about the way our t & c are bring hacked away at is making me . Someone at work said something to me that struck a cord. I was stressing about attending parents night and he pointed out I only need to do 3 out of the 5. I mentioned that I felt guilty and obliged to do more and he said 'Look at your pay packet, then look at the rectors and see if you still feel that way'. I am trying to squeeze full time hours into a part time job but I am paid part time so I am planning on stepping back a bit.

I'm a f/t teacher, HOD, have an evening job, and am doing a p/t PhD. I have a baby and a toddler. It only works for me (and I'm knackered, especially as I'm BF and the baby doesn't sleep so well) because DH is a SAHD, so I will never have childcare issues. And I'm fairly well-organised yet laid back. I don't really get stressed, which I think is the worst possible thing in all this. At the end of the day, if it doesn't get done it doesn't get done. And nothing is more important than the children.

neep know exactly what you mean - I'm told I need to attend ALL inset days, ALL parents evenings (except 6th form which I don't teach) and it's assumed I go to all saturday open days. I also have the same level of duty as when I had a timetable double the size of what I have now. On top of that I have people asking me to to after school clubs/GCSE easter holiday sessions/6th form cookery all as an extra but unpaid. I'm saying no to everything non essential but still with parents evenings etc it's just unfair . Plus, parents evenings are on my day off so I think legally I'm not obliged to go to them at all without extra pay

loopy I'm glad that works for you - btw was ft for food tech or full time?

xmyboys it's so nice to hear from another food tech teacher - we are a rare breed . I am at a year being out of touch though. I am considering requesting less classes and someone else come in to teach the other classes but my supply (who would most likely do this) is not a qualified food teacher, she specialises in another tech and was just sort of learning on the job teaching gcse. So if I dropped classes they would be ks3 which are the ones which are the easiest to prep anyway and I'd be left with the ones which cause me 80% of my prep and 80% of my stress . Argh, gtg dd crying....

I went back to f/t science teaching in september when DS was 5 months old. There was no decision for us, we need to both work full time to pay the bills (we bought our first house when I was pg!).

It's been hard. But doable. I have had to do a lot more 'talk & chalk' lessons, and I haven't spent hours making powerpoints & card sorts like I used to.

I scarper out of school as soon as I can. I don't care what SLT think. I need to get back to pick up DS & spend time with him before bedtime. I then spend 8-11pm working every night (and sending time-stamped emails as 'proof', in case it's ever needed). DH has DS 2 days a week (he works weekends) so I can stay late for meetings & to do one after school revision session which no bugger bothers to attend.

DS has only started to sleep through this week. With the horrific sleep deprivation, I've found it hard to maintain a basic level of organisation (when I've got planning time, I can hardly function enough to make the best of it, hence having to spend so long working in the evenings) and I've had no memory to speak of. The kids have been great. They're working with my inability to string a sentence together.

I have wondered at times if they'd have been better off with a cover teacher, but I really think they have been better to have me (3 gcse classes had exams this week).

It's getting easier. I'm getting more & more organised. The kids seemed well prepared for their exams. DS spends more time with DH and I than with our (wonderful) cm. And we've got half terms & holidays to be a family all together.

And it won't be forever. Things will improve. (and that is what I repeat to myself). One of the main factors is that I love my department colleagues & I love my job. Most of the time

Reastie I'll come lighten your load if it fits between school pick ups

xmyboys yes please

buck I think tbh the thing is you have no choice and have to work whereas we could live (allbeit on a tight income) with me working less or not working. I'm only having one dc and I don't want having to work to make me miss out on stuff and think back to this time that I could or should have not worked to actually enjoy it.

I spoke to DH earlier about what neep said and BIL is a HT and apparently he told dh he loves employing part timers for the sole reason that you get your monies work and they do alot more for the pay than full timers [sigh]

I know I'm missing his baby-hood. It's sad. But you're right, this is how it has to be right now.

But my point is, for all the work & stress of stupid f/t hours & required prep, I do feel like I can balance it. Although I've had to stop working for management, and work for the kids instead.

I think our HT & deputies think we do bugger all, the amount of insulting initiatives they start. They'd have a shock if they had to teach in our department! Maybe I will go p/t eventually...

If you can reduceyour hours, and you want to, do it. Working p/t will keep you up-to-date if the time comes for you to move on/up, etc.

My posts turned into a rant, sorry

Practical tips:
Make lists, and then cross off everything that won't benefit the kids.
Go home as soon as you can.
Only work when DDs in bed & don't even think about work when she's around.
Remember your inset & meetings & evenings should be pro-rata too. See your union rep to support you with that.

This is your first week back, it's going to take a while to get into the swing if things (a term & a half in you're me). Do what you can and don't beat yourself up about the rest.

Think about longer evenings & gain time.