feel so guilty !!!

[hippy3]

Hi havent used mums net for ages....

I am mum to twin boys who are 9 months. I am planning going back to work full time at the end of the month they will be ten months..

I ahve to go back for financial reasons. They are booked into a great nursery, and I feel confident its the right place for them, but just feel so guilty going back... Will they remember im their mum?? etc...and worried im going to miss everything for the first time...
Is it normal to feel like this...? can someone reassure me.....!!

It's completely normal and it will be fine

The staff won't tell you if they've taken their first steps , they'll wait until you see it 'for the first time'

You'll need to be ultra organised, get nursery bags ready the night before , work clothes ready, dh / dp helping with cooking , cleaning , washing and at weekends make stock the freezer up with home made stuff you can microwave in the week

Tbh it's easier working ft at this age

It's when they start school & you have to find afterschool care & fit in homework & reading every night & chatting about their day and worries

PLEASE don't feel guilty. I went back to work after 10 days with my first, a week with my second and had to pop in on the way back from the hospital with my third!! Admittedly I run my own business which gave me alot of flexibility, but my boys have all been 'left' with others as babies and started day care at 10 weeks. Youngest is now 4 and eldest is 9 and they are my best buddies - we are very close and I think I possibly spent more quality time with them than I would have done if I had stayed at home - I made more of an effort when the weekend/holiday time came. Mine went to a fantastic nursery who would bath and change them if I hadn't had time and so when I picked them up we would spend the evening cuddling, reading books and chatting (nonsense!). I don't regret any of it and wouldn't do it any differently if I had a fourth. They don't need to be permanently attached to you to feel loved. You just need to be confident in your decision that it is the right thing for you and them - you are placing them in a safe place where they will be stimulated and well cared for, surrounded by little friends and adults whose sole purpose of being there is to entertain them. It does wonders for their social skills, and for me made them easier to deal with. I grew up with a nanny looking after me at home, but for me that was too much of a 'mum replacing' role for my boys. The toughest thing for me was 'friends' opinions. One actually told me that she clearly loved her children more as she stayed at home with hers. Needless to say we are not friends any more! Just follow what you know is going to work for you and your family, be confident in your decision and look on it as a positive. Good Luck!! Oh, and 'dump and run' is the kindest way. Don't hang about when you drop them off - if you give them a second to turn the separation tears on, they will. You know the minute you have walked out of that door they are engrossed in something exciting and you are old news - while you drive to work feeling like your hearts been ripped out. It's a skill worth honing!!!