This would be totally crazy wouldn't it? I'm mad to even consider it?

[gaelicsheep]

The crazy thing being considering applying for a job hundreds of miles from home that would require staying away at the office location for up to a week at a time. I could work from home the rest of the time.

1. Time apart from DH and my young children
2. Expense of short term accommodation on a regular basis (wouldn't be paid by company as I'm the one who lives away)
3. Other regular stays away for one or two nights at a time throughout the UK
4. Possibly the killer, having to work for a couple of months at the office location before working from here.

I really don't want to move again, certainly not until I was sure it was the right thing to do. In this climate I can't see how it would happen anyway as nothing is selling.

This is totally ridiculous and working away is something I said I would never ever do. Except it's a really really great job and I think I would stand a good chance if I applied. The money would be good, a bit more than I'm on now, but not enough to pay for all that accommodation on top of our mortgage and other bills.

AAARGH - but it's a really great job and I feel at a dead end with my current one. It's a niche sector and new jobs invariably involve difficult choices. HELP! Talk some sense into me please, or at least help me pick apart the various issues here. PLEEEEEASE! Does anyone actually do anything like this?

bump

(getting urgent, starting to think about possibility of another move. On Rightmove...) Would you uproot kids and move or try to do what I've described above?

(sorry for impatience)

Age of DCs and views of DH? Does new job have career progression? If it were your DH having this quandary, what would you say to him?

Thanks for your reply hassled. DCs are 5.5 (in Scottish P1 - not impressed thus far) and 1.5

I think there would be career progression yes, although it's a smallish (well established) company. Crucially it would give me a way into a new sector from where many other opportunities could open up if I wanted. Certainly more career progression than my current one which is public sector and in which I have reached the top of the scale with nowhere to go except management (yawn).

If it was DH I would say go for it definitely, whichever of the two options it took (the crazy one or the moving one). But I struggle with being a SAHM in my heart if not in practice and can't imagine how I'd cope being away from the kids for more than a couple of days. Moving is looking the more sensible option, which would make it the 4th significant geographical move in 11 years!

I'd still love to know if anyone does actually make option 1 work though. Especially how you go about getting affordable accommodation for short periods at a time.

Also, we're just finding our feet in the community here. I now have mummy friends locally. But lots of downsides too, and I'm increasingly feeling like we're making big compromises living here. For example would love to live somewhere green, with soil that you can grow things in.

My local pub does accomodation for contractors, special rates for week long week night only stays. I bet they're not the only ones seeing as how i'm in rural hampshire!

If dh agrees why not move?

That's interesting. I wonder how much it is. Why not move - hmm? I don't know really, and now that I'm looking at property porn the reasons are diminishing. I guess I'm not keen on uprooting myself yet again, as much as anything. I find it hard to settle in a community and get to know people and it's only just happened here. I'd miss people I guess. But I'm no longer sure that's enough reason to stay, much as I love it here. I always say my job's not that important, as long as it's flexible and pays the bills, yet when the job starts to go sour I fall out of love with a place pretty quickly.

I'd go for the move option, assuming your DH can find work and is up for it. Your DCs won't be young for long - you will find it hard. And they'll cope with a move at that age - if you can, they can. You're the stability, not the place.

The older the kids the harder you'll find it to uproot them. At the moment it's you and dh an your fully developed adult social skills.

Happily DH is a SAHD, partly due to lack of opportunities here, so if that didn't change it wouldn't matter unduly.

Honestly though, 4 moves in 11 years. Probably a combined total of about 1000 miles. That is ridiculous! Clearly I'm jumping the gun as I haven't even applied, but I know my potential boss and he was very encouraging so I would be in with a shot.

Yeah the other option sounds more crazy by the second. Coincidentally we have already been thinking hard about withdrawing DS from school here. Maybe we could home ed for a while to get him up to standard (he'd be a year behind) before settling down properly and enrolling him in a new school.

I'm getting excited and carried away now. The mere thought of living somewhere where things will grow and not be eaten by deer or frozen to death sounds like heaven.

If you don't do it now, it'll get harder and harder. And it sounds like you're not happy where you are.

I hadn't lived anywhere for more than 3 years by the time I turned 21 and I turned out alright

Seriously - move while your kids are young and portable. I moved last year to a town where I didn't know anyone and I didn't have a job because I wanted to live here. Work is not as good as I'd hoped but I really love it here and that's so important.

If you do need to commute, look on gumtree. There are loads of people who would love a weekday only lodger.

Hmm, weekday only is one thing. But weekday only for one week in six might not be so easy to find?

I am happy in so many ways. We spent years talking about moving to where we live now - it's a lovely area - then the opportunity came up and we took it. But things haven't quite worked out how we planned, mostly down to the cost of fuel meaning we can't afford to go anywhere and take advantage of where we live. I now don't see the job going anywhere - much as I like it a lot, I realise I need to see and feel progress and I now feel like I'm stagnating due to lack of capacity and resources (which is not going to change). Work life balance is tipping too far towards work due to that lack of resources. I'm getting frustrated.

And yes the kids are still quite portable and I totally see how it will get harder and harder. It's also blardy expensive living here. Middle of nowhere, off grid, no TV reception, no landline broadband, etc. etc. I can see that we could save money in the long run by moving, although the short term costs of double housing etc. terrify me!

Mumsnet is a great sounding board!

So, you don't like the town, you're not happy in your job, your child isn't getting an adequate education and your husband is supportive of whatever career decision you make because you're the main breadwinner?

From here it sounds like if you're happy then your family will be happy, at least for now. That's not selfish it's sensible!

I am happy with all those things, I guess, but beginning to stagnate and question things. Anyhow I am now in the process of applying. I have to do a CV - haven't done one in years as it's been application forms all the way. That's scary!

Que sera sera

Sounds like theres not a lot for you where you are atm. I'd apply, see how you get on, then consider whether to accept.
FWIW, DH and I have moved 3 times in 12 years, and would move again for either of us having the right job.
I'm sure you could find lodgings near the office - there might well be someone who doesn't want a full time lodger, but would like a little extra income from someone who needed a few nights a month. You might even find a MNetter who would

Well I'm now working on my application and realising that I really really want this job! I just hope I can make a good stab at it. We reckon we would look to rent down there for a while and rent our place out up here, then after a few months take a decision whether I would try home working from here or move for good.

This is the problem with jobs that involve a big move - you end up thinking about it far too much so that if you end up not getting it you'll be really really disappointed.