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Can't see a way back into work, but can't imagine the rest of my life without it

5 replies

juneau · 05/01/2012 11:41

A bit of background. I've got two children, aged 4 years and 7 months. I worked FT until I had DS1, but haven't worked since. We were living in the US at the time of DS1's birth and to keep my job I'd have had to be back at work FT when he was just 12 weeks old and there was no way I wanted that, so I lost my job.

After a year at home with him I'd have been happy to go back PT, but of course I didn't have a job to go to. Plus, I'd worked in finance and in late 2008 when I was ready to go back no one was hiring. At the end of 2009 we moved back to the UK and we wanted to try for another child so I didn't start looking for work. DS2 was born in May 2011.

Since his birth I've been thinking a lot about what to do about my dead-in-the-water 'career'. Before I had my DC I worked in private equity fund management as the assistant to an MD. I liked the job I had and would be happy to do something similar again. However, I haven't worked in the UK for eight years and I haven't worked at all for the past four and I feel desperately out of touch. The last time I worked in the UK I was in financial publishing and I have no intention of going back to that - so my relevant contacts in the industry are all in New York.

I find myself going round and round in circles in my head and the conclusion is always that I'll never get back into work again and I'll be one of those women who are defined by their children. It's not that I dislike being a SAHM - I actually quite like it a lot of the time - but I can't see myself just pottering about at home forever - particularly once both boys are at school full-time. I also miss the office banter, the intellectual stimulation and the social aspect of work.

If anyone has found themselves in a similar situation (and has managed to read all that), I'd love to hear how you got back into work or how you plan to do so.

OP posts:
craftynclothy · 05/01/2012 11:46

I left my job just before I found out I was pregnant with dd1 and hence didn't look for anything after finding out. I'm now (after having dd2) studying for another degree with the OU in the hopes of moving into a different area of work (long story but similar to you in that I can't go back into same role as before dd1).

Is there a possibility of you doing further study/short courses to show you're committed to getting back to work, have recent development, etc.?

LCarbury · 05/01/2012 14:01

It's still early days, your youngest is 7mo, we're in a recession, but our potential working life will extend to the age of 70 so if you don't need to get a job yet, in your shoes, I personally would enjoy riding out the recession at home for another year or so! Are you OK in other ways, is this really a q about work or are you just feeling a bit post-natally down (not sure about depressed per se)? The only downer is you might have to work your way up again from a lower level, but you have plenty of time to do that.

juneau · 05/01/2012 14:14

I know it's early days and I'm not planning on going back to work any time soon, TBH. Competition for what jobs do exist is tough and I wouldn't have thought any employer would take on a mother with two children and no recent experience when there are so many more desirable candidates out there.

And no, I'm not depressed. I'm bored a lot of the time and I admit I'm sometimes jealous of my husband's freedom to walk out the door with just his wallet and his keys and his ability to go for a drink after work, but I know that if I did work I'd be the one rushing to pick the kids up from nursery/school and I wouldn't have that freedom then either!

What I do want to plan for though is my eventual return to work. I'd like to have some idea of how I will make it happen and maybe there are things I can do now, or between now and when I do start looking, that will boost my chances of getting back into something that I'll enjoy doing.

OP posts:
MrsHoarder · 05/01/2012 14:19

Is there a qualification you can work on? I'm currently doing a 1-year post grad masters course to give me a kick start, but it could also be done part time over up to 3 years (for the same cost) which might let you build up for when you're ready to go back in and give you something to keep you busy when the kids are at school etc.

juneau · 05/01/2012 14:54

MrsH - maybe. It's probably something I should look into. The only problem being that I'm not sure there is a qualification for what I used to do and if I'm not going to do that I'm not sure what I want to do!

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