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Original poster

I want to leave my job and do 'housey' things .... I think......

24 replies

Legacy · 14/01/2006 12:56

I've always worked, and have a good job close to home. Unlikely that I could do it anything other than full time (have asked) so it's all or nothing.

I never thought I'd feel like this, but I just have an overwhelming sense of wanting to spend much more time at home doing mother/homemaker sorts of things.
I just want to sort our house out - our eldest is nearly 7 and I feel as if I have about a 7 year 'backlog' of things we just ahven't managed to do - clearing out/ decorating/ buying pictures/ having people for dinner etc etc.

Also DS2 starts school half days for a term in Sept, and I just want to be around for him.

DH says he thinks I will be bored in about 3 months, and by then I'll have thrown away my current ("cushy" according to him) job.

Am I mad? Anyone done this and really regretted it?

OP posts:

CountessDracula · 14/01/2006 12:57

I feel the same at the moment

fairydust · 14/01/2006 12:58

could you take a career break - that way if it doesn't work out you could return?

Pinotmum · 14/01/2006 13:00

A little diferent to you but when dd was 6 months I chose to take redundancy from my cushy well paid job where I had worked for 12 yrs. No regrets. Five years later I decided I would get a p/time job - completely different to what I used to do and laughingly poor pay but I love it and it fits in round my children as far as school holidays go.

Original poster

Legacy · 14/01/2006 13:04

FD - yes, wondered about careerbreak, but don't think my company has ever done them. Also I may need to some freelance work to earn a little bit of money once DS2 starts school full time.

One of my friends has simply said "you'll always regret it if you don't try..."

I think I'm just way too risk averse

OP posts:

TeddyRobinson · 14/01/2006 13:12

Do it - it's fab! I love being a '50s housewife'! I do work freelance too though and earn a decent amount for it - perhaps I'd feel differently if I didn't have that aspect to my life, I don't know.

northerner · 14/01/2006 13:12

Legacy, in 15 years time you are very unlikely to look back and regret giving up your job to be at home and spend more time with the kids. But you might regret not doing it.

golds · 14/01/2006 13:17

go for it. Its nice being there to do all those things you want to, you will soon get into a routine. If you do get bored, you could always get involved with the school, its really good fun, I enjoy it.

iota · 14/01/2006 13:27

I took redundancy when ds1 started school and have not regretted it ( 2.5 yrs now)

TeddyRobinson · 14/01/2006 13:29

I think what Northerner says is true and tbh, it would take a lot to lure me away from the ability to take and collect my children from school, help out at school events - these are things that are hugely important to me.

iota · 14/01/2006 13:30

oh and I'd worked for over 20 yrs and was worried I'd miss it

iris66 · 14/01/2006 13:56

Go for it!!!! I gave up 2 years ago after 20 years being seriously career orientated. I was doing a part time "hobby" job too which became my "proper" part time job to allay my irrational guilt but I wish I'd done it earlier as DD was 15 by the time I got round to it.She loves the fact that I'm around for her more now and I love doing the 50's housewifely stuff too (so much so that I'm expecting a baby any day!)

I agree totally with northerner - much better to regret what you have done rather than what you haven't! good luck

perfumelady · 14/01/2006 14:10

go with your heart, i was in exactly the same situation 3 years ago, i took the plundge done every thing i wanted at home then i did start to get a little bored ,i think the one thing that you do miss when at home is the social side that you had from work, just make sure you catch up with friends who are at home also so you can keep a social circle. i managed to start my own business that enables me to work from home, so i have the best of both worlds being at home for the children but earning money at the same time so i haven't regretted it for one moment, maybe you could do something simular.

beejay · 16/01/2006 16:11

They are offering voluntary redundancy in my office at the moment and I really want to take it. It would be enough to live off for a year and I would love to spend a few months being a housewife ( dd is 6 and I've worked every since she was a baby.)
But scared too- am a single mother and if I don't get a job within a year i would be bed.
Also whilst I am bored with my job it is fairly straightforward, the pay is okay and it's not stressful.
Don't know what to do!!!

Tinker · 16/01/2006 19:00

Would your husband support your decision though? Saying you might get bored - is that his way of letting you know he wouldn't be happy if you jacked it in?

Sympathies though, am returning to work next week after 8 stress-free months of maternity leave

littlemissbossy · 16/01/2006 19:09

I had no regrets about giving my well paid job up with all the perks, company car etc, to stay at home when I had DS. I did miss the money at first and 'some' of the people I worked with. I certainly didn't miss the stress LOL. Now DS is at school, I'm working part-time which has taken some time to adjust to because I no longer have the career I once had but just a job. However, I'm enjoying being back 'out there' and although I loved being at home with DS, feel I'm back in the real world.
Do whatever feels good for you, you can always find another job if things don't work out at home... oh and once you've finished sorting out your house, can you come and sort mine?!

sunchowder · 16/01/2006 19:17

I feel the same way too. I have been working for the past 28 years, I would love a break but financially we can't make it without my salary. I think if you really had your husband's blessing it would be easier for your to decide. It is that whole "be gratful for what you have" ideology that keeps me where I am right now.

sunchowder · 16/01/2006 19:17

grateful even

madmarchhare · 16/01/2006 19:22

Just make sure that you do get round to doing those things if you do end up leaving work.

I finished before DS (2.1) was born and I now have a 'backlog' of, er, 2.1 years.

Original poster

Legacy · 17/01/2006 10:29

Tinker - yes, DH says he will support my decision, and in fact wants me to give up to give him more time, since he currently does all the after school stuff (has his own business). Thing is, he will need to earn more to cover some of the shortfall.

I just keep worrying that it's just the 'other side of the fence' syndrome though.
Am working from home today, so took the DSs to school and nursery, and when I was coming back I juts looked at all the Mums and wondered if I could really imagine me doing it all the time.

OP posts:

mcmum · 17/01/2006 10:56

hello

im new to mumsnet! I was a director of my own company I have two children age 4 and 8 my husband also has own business and he works from home, I left my company and now work from home with my husband and it's great. We both have time with kids I get paid for being at home and I have loads of time to myself. Could you not help in DH's business from home ? it worked for me and no pressure or stress and if kids are off ill i dont need to worry same for school hols dont know why i didnt do it before.

lucy5 · 17/01/2006 11:10

I have just done this. It was a togh decision as it meant giving up a job which I knew I would never get again. I am in Southern Spain and these jobs are hard to come by but i didnt really like the organisation I was working for and my dd had just started at a differnt school in theopposite direction to where I worked. I felt guilty alot of the time because I was always racing the clock. Going to see her do something after school was like a military operation. I just stood back and thought what is more important my job or my dd. I am now at home and doing bits of work from home. The advice that I would offer is make sure you keep in touch with people so you still have the opportunity to socialise. It can be a bit boring and isolating at times but I havent regretted the decision. I am fully involved with everything that dd does, I am not saying that you cant be if you are a working mum,its just more difficult. The house is slowly coming to shape, the dogs get a long walk on the beach everyday and I am happy with my lot. The only thing that bugs me mildly is that people think I have leisurely days and ask me to do errands for them. Sorry to waffle

Twiglett · 17/01/2006 11:14

felt that way in 2002 when DS was a toddler

but I took the leap and did it

thought that I'd be biting my own hands off with boredom within 3 months

here I am, 4 years later and with another child and I'm still a SAHM

and 98% of the time I love it

Callmemadam · 17/01/2006 22:56

If you can cope with the drop in income, then dot it! I am a SAHM of 4, and JP in my spare time. I struggled for 7 years with parttime and consultancy work, and then realised I was letting my children grow up without me really being involved, and I stopped. I wouldn't say that it has all been easy, and I question my parenting skills and patience all the time, but I have had something which is very precious - time with them - and I have been very lucky that my dh could support me to do that. Beejay - I think it's different for you as sole breadwinner - is a career break or sabbatical possible for you instead?

moondog · 17/01/2006 23:24

Legacy,I've been at home for nearly 2 years and have been doing some of the homey stuff you are talking about.Also enjoy being able to do things with the PTA,playgroup and Sunday school.

I am going back to uni this September and back to work next Spring,so will have had three years off.

That will be plenty for me I think.

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