New manager says she will not approve any training until I have a degree. I am really stuck.

[AKMD]

Brief background: I work in the medical technology industry in a very specialised role, where everyone is presumed to be a graduate. By some miracle I was employed without a degree and now have over three years of experience in the same company and a promotion under my belt. In those three years I have had seven line managers, only three of whom had done my role before.

My current manager previously did a very similar role to mine in another company. She started last autumn. Before Christmas she asked each member of our team to put together a training proposal for 2012. I put mine together based on the training I had found useful in the past for keeping up-to-date and on a skills/knowledge gap analysis. I presented each element with the gap analysis and the reasons why it would be useful to the company. In our 1-to-1 to discuss my proposal, my manager said that she would not approve training for me until I had done a degree. I was a bit stunned, even more so when she told me that if I was applying for my role now, she would not consider me. I tried to discuss it with her but she got so angry that she was physically shaking so I didn't get very far.

I am a bit stuck. I am good at my job and even though it isn't my dream career, I do want to progress within my field. This isn't a role that you can get an undergraduate degree in but the job specifications I've looked at all ask for a degree in the life sciences. I'm good at science subjects but I don't particularly enjoy them and I can't see myself wanting this job so much that I would have the motivation to spend 5-6 years doing a degree I hated just to keep it.

I can see her point: I work 25 hours a week and would be hard pressed to find a similar part-time job at another company, even with a degree. Without it, I'm not sure I stand a chance. I'm a bit puzzled though as to why she thinks I would want to spend 5-6 years in my current role without any progression and why she thinks so little of practical experience in a field that you can't get a degree in.

This is getting a bit long, sorry. There is a more to it but I am dreading going back to work and feeling patronised and sidelined. I am not stupid and I resent being made to feel that I am. As far as I can see it, my options are:

1. Stick it out and try to reason with her.
2. Stay where I am and do a p/t degree in the life sciences.
3. Stay where I am and do a p/t degree in a subject I'm actually interested in.
4. Look for another job.
5. Do a f/t degree and start a new career.

I'm leaning towards 3 or 5, although 5 would mean a sharp drop in our joint income and DS is only 1, so we would need a full-time nursery place.

Any advice? Thanks for reading.

It's so obviously an unreasonable request to withold any training for the length of time it would take to complete a degree. I agree with making notes of all conversations from now on, request that she puts everything she said in writing and contacting HR.

I wonder, given her reaction (which she was obviously aware of also) if it's worth speaking to her again. Along the lines of "I was a bit perplexed at what was said at the meeting and wish to go over it again to clarify what you are suggesting". If it's the same outcome (fury or no fury) then ask for it in writing?

x-posts. Another good point custy. I will discuss it informally with HR and get their stance on what I should do now to make sure that policy would be on my side if this escalated.

There isn't a relevant union unfortunately and the professional society is based in the US. It's a very niche role! I will take a note of the constructive dismissal reference and use it if needs be.

My colleagues are treading very softly. They aren't happy (as I said, they are 30+ years older than both of us and have had 15-25 years of experience vs. her 2) but she is very definitely asserting her authority and they don't want to rock the boat.

Thanks everyone.

yy to putting everything in writing and emailing back summaries of meetings for her to confirm.

*her 4 years of experience, not 2!

Lots more info to digest.

You are in a very strong position, but only if you act on it. The fact that you are the only female (other than boss), younger than all your colleagues, and part time all give strength to your position. She is clearly discriminating against you, but it could be for an educatonal bias OR for any of the things I have just mentioned. Once a tribunal has established that there may be disrimination based on age or gender, then it is up to the firm to prove that their decision wasn't based on gender/age, etc, IYSWIM.

They are therefore in VERY dodgy ground, especially if you have proven yourself capable and able to work above your current grade.

Lots of comments have been made about her motivation, probably all accurate, but beside the point. Her reasons are her problem. Don't let them sidetrack you. They just show that she is not able to do her job competently, but that's for others to decide and act on. What is pertinent to your position is that she won't stop holding you down unless something changes.

You need to make the change.

I would strongly advise you to do the following:-

1. as mentioned before, make a diary of every single thing being done to undermine you, with dates and list of witnesses (if any). Print out any emails and take them home for record-keeping.

2. slightly more difficult for you, but you need to establish your authority (and an informal chat with HR won't do it - given you have already said they're a bit pants). I would send her an email, setting out your understanding of the conversation you had, namely that she has refused your very reasonable request for ongoing training, and that you are confused as to her reasons and as to why she became angry during your meeting. I would state something like the following "Although you stated that you would not allow me to continue ongoing training because I don't have a degree, I cannot accept this as a valid reason, given that (a) such a qualification is not a requirement either for my job or for the ongoing training I have requested, and (b) I have already proven my capability at performing above my grade and being able to use all previous training effectively in my role, and (c) your refusal goes against company policy for ongoing training which states XYZ" (take it from your policy when you get hold of it)...Then I wold add something like "Whilst I understand that I am younger than many of my colleagues and work part-time, I have clearly demonstrated my capability to perform well in my role and my capability to progress, and I cannot understand why you have decided to deny me the opportunities that have been afforded to all of my colleagues. I do not understand why I am being singled out in this way and would like you to come back to me as soon as possible with your reasoning in order that we can avoid escalating this to a formal grievance. If you feel that you are unable to articulate this verbally without again becoming emotional then please feel free to respond by email or letter"

Obv the second para is very strong, and you might want to tailor it down, but TBH I think she is only going to back down when she has to, and if your HR are rubbish then it is up to you to effect the changes you need. If you are a very non-confrontational person then the second para definitely needs to tone down to make it more authentically 'you'.

Another side qn - what are the things that need to change? I am sure that the training thing is not the only problem....

I think stillsquiffy has all the right info down, if she is a bully then that second para is going to stand up to her.

I once had an extremely insecure and bullying boss (female sadly) who frequently reduced me to tears when I got home. No one in the office ever stood up to her or for me, but they were all very good at giving advice after the event/sympathising etc but not helping me out. I went to her boss, who laughed at me and said it was part of the industry. Great. What I didn't do was go to hr which was foolish, instead I tried to find another position within the company and when this failed I resigned. I truly regret this as I really wanted to stick it to the boss and make her realise what a c**t she was. I also believe that I would have had great grounds for unfair dismissal but she took the fight out of me. On a more positive note for me, once my notice was in and I was working it out I managed to stand up to myself as I had nothing to lose. Funnily enough she never had a go again...........

If you feel that none of the practical channels are working and that at the end of the day you do have NOTHING to lose then stand up to her, however I don't recommend this as the starting point, more then end point when every other avenue has been blocked. I wish you the very best of luck and hope she sees the error of her ways very quickly. Many people don't need a degree to do the job, a degree is great but learning on the job is better and more current and you will probably find that everything that your collegues did way back when during their degree is now updated and out of sync hence the required training.

Thanks squiffy, that's excellent advice. I try to avoid confrontation at almost any cost because I find that I start tearing up, which completely negates the point of standing up for myself in the first place. An email might be better.

The other issues are just little ones compared to this really. Here are some:

• As I mentioned in a previous post, I was on leave of absence for nearly 3 months following an operation to remove a suspected cancerous tumour. She started the week following my operation and from what my colleagues have told me, pretty much immediately started shuffling responsibilities away from me. I can understand that short-term but I arrived back at work to be told by her that I was expected to do the most menial paper-pushing and when I got that right I could move on. Bearing in mind that I have pretty much self-managed for the past 2 and a half years, I was rather surprised at having to prove myself again starting from scratch.

• This year I have been setting up a new SOP to streamline this department's activities, which has involved a shedload of meetings with other departments to get their input and extensive travel to train other divisions and coordinate with our sister function abroad. She scrapped it while I was off sick and told me in a meeting with other people that it was rubbish, then asked me to work with her to set something up that is almost exactly the same.

• She called me to ask me to take on the coordination of a task to do with a major overseas distributor that I have worked with several times before, then without saying anything did the task herself and got me to do the donkey work for it.

• She laid into me in another meeting for combining some existing PDFs and sending them to an overseas factory without her checking them first. I didn't alter the content at all, I just had the right software to make a hundred-odd individual sections into one document, which was needed urgently for an audit.

• She has insisted on me writing completely pointless rationales and bit my head off when I questioned it, only to then get cross the next time they were mentioned because they were pointless and I hadn't told her so.

• She has given me lengthy instructions on how to compose an email.

• She has tried to make me report into a colleague at the same level as me, effectively giving me a demotion. Luckily he's on-side and has batted her off.

This stuff is just so petty but I feel so hurt. I'm miserable going into work and being treated like this. She's asked us all to put together a list of achievements from last year and I have worried over the Christmas holidays because I can't think of a single thing to put down. This training thing is just the latest thing that has made me wonder whether it's time to go.

All of those together strike me as quite significant tbh. I would take this with dates to hr immediately, it can all be construed as bullying and her taking advantage of you having been ill and also p/t. All wrong. Good Luck

Would they take it seriously though? Writing it down makes it look awful but to me they feel so petty.

I would have thought if it affects your ability to work constructively and she is seen to be pushing you out then yes, however I would like to point out that I am not in anyway anything legal orientated so..........

However it strikes me that she is trying to make you resign, and only you and therefore keeping the record will come in handy if you ever have to go through the motions of constructive dismissal.

It is a difficult situation and I don't envy you but please don't get pushed out of your job by the woman, equally try not to let it stress you too much. The mantra of "its just a job" (i know flippant in the current economy) but please don't let it affect your health, this would be unfair to you. Equally don't throw the towel in, if she is trying to push you out, bloody well push back through the proper channels because if she succeeds at least you will get some form of remuneration from it which will be good if you want to continue with your degree. (harsh but if she wants to play that game you take them for all its worth girl!)

Dont quit...jobs are difficult to come by

If a degree is now a requirement of the job, the company should fund the degree in order that you meet the requirements of the job specification. If they wont then you must have been hired for that role based on past experience or you showed skills needed for the job in lieu of a degree so your manager is talking twaddle. Ask HR is there is a training policy, all medium sized companies should have one and nobody can be refused training if it is necessary for your job role and progression within that role

I would fire off an informal e-mail to HR, state what has been happening to you and ask if you have any recourse. You will have to exhaust your companies in-house grievance policy before your case will be heard at a employment tribunal anyway, i've brought a discrimination case against previous employers but luckily it got settled without a tribunal hearing. It is extremely stressful to go down this route but i'm so glad I didn't let my previous employers get away with bad behaviour