Please help me sort this out!

[KateF]

I'm going to be as concise as I can here but there are a lot of relevant issues that I need to put in!
I have been basically a SAHM for 6 years and have 3 dds (6, 4.6 and 17 months). I helped out a lot at playgroup and loved it so decided to train in pre-school education (re-training as not wanting to go back into medicine). During my last pregnancy the playgroup work experience placement fell through and I was taken on as a volunteer helper in the nursery at the dds school. Have been doing 2-3 mornings a week for the past year and now been offered paid work for 5 mornings . This is ideal as fits in with the children really well and I love the Unit. Trouble is the Head encouraged me to apply for a years Teacher Training course and I was really enthusiastic until I got the interview pack. I just think it's going to be too much at the moment as I'll have to travel to college and dh is not about to help with children, also no other family to help.
I really want to withdraw my application but dh is going to be furious as he wants me back at work full time to take the earning pressure off him. Our marriage has been v.difficult but after some counselling things have improved recently and I'm scared to upset everything again.
I'm in such a tizz about this and hoping you wise MNetters can help me get my head clear enough to make a decision . Thanks in advance
Kate

Sorry to hijack, but did you get my email about sending me your address ?

Kate, is it a PGCE you are thinking of doing?

Hi nutcracker-yes emailed it to you yesterday.

Puff-no, it's a graduate teacher scheme run as a partnership with Bedfordshire Schools. It's excellent and I would love to do it, just not right now.

If he "wants you back in full-time work", he must offer a way to help with the children, surely?

Ignore me Kate, just noticed you have replied to my email

Will send them asap.

Why don't you chat to the Head and explain that it will be too much at the moment - with 3 small children, I would have thought anyone could understand that!

Could you not delay until little one is a school.

Your dh must understand that someone has to be responsible for the children on a day to day basis, and if he can't help, it has to be you!

OK, know what you mean and I think you are absolutely right about now not being the right time. You have 3 very young children - it will be incredibly demanding and without a good support network nearby ver very tough indeed.

Are you qualified to work in private day nurseries?

To be fair to him-he has a v.long commute. Leaves the house at 7.30 and not home until 7.30-8pm so he really can't do much. I could arrange childcare (be complicated and expensive though) but would have to give up a lot that I do with the children and they are still very young.
Other issue is that I could give up my lovely new p/t job, train for a year then be stuck for a new job. I certainly wouldn't get a Foundation Stage job where I am now, in the dds school with dd3s c/minder round the corner.

What about something else part time to complement what you are already doing now?

Have you sat down together and worked out the sums re costs of childcare against your earnings once you qualify as a teacher? Pay has improved but is still not great for NQTs.

I wouldn't entertain the idea of doing the 1 year graduate teaching scheme until your youngest is school age - seriously I think it will be crucifying to try earlier, especially as you don't have a supprt network and your husband is working/commuting long hours.

What about some additional part time work to supplement what you re doing now?

Have you both number crunched all the options thoroughly?

oops, sorry, thought my first post didn't go through, so second is a bit of a repeat!!

Thanks batters-part of the problem was that they praised me so much I got a bit carried away, hence current probs .
Think you and puff are right about writing things down in detail. He is very money-driven but very airy-fairy about details, a lot of "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" type comments. It'll be me that's stuck with managing to get the girls to school and c/minder and me to Bedford for 9am!
By the time dd3 is at full time school I will be nearly 40 (gulp). Could I still do teacher training then do you think?

Yes, you could definitely still do it then. I know the graduate scheme is different to the PGCE, but the demands and commitment required are similar.

I know a few people who have done teaching training in late 30's and have coped, but all their children had reached school age.

Thank you so much for your help. I do know in my heart of hearts that I can't do it just now but I am so scared of telling dh

I feel for you, being frightened to tell your dh - it shouldn't be like that .

I'm usually all for telling people to "go for it", but if your marriage has been under strain already, you starting this course sooner rather than later really won't help as it would put you under terrific pressure.