Conflicted about going back to work

[Chica06]

My DD is 13 months old and I am due to return to work in mid-January in the public sector (mid-level in terms of seniority). I have managed to negotiate a 2.5 day a week position (I was in the role full time before I went on Mat leave) and it looks like we have found a fantastic nanny. The half day I will be able to work from home and the other two days my DH will be working from home.

I won't be earning a whole lot of money after childcare costs and we can (just) afford for me not to go back to work but I feel like this position is a good way of keeping connected to the job market.

On paper this situation seems ideal! However, the problem is that I feel conflicted about leaving my DD with another caregiver even just for two days (we have no family close by). I enjoyed my job but I really love spending the days at home being a mother too!

Am I being ridiculous given that this is only really 2 days apart??? Is this just my anxiety clouding my better judgment? Do mum's get used to leaving their LOs with other caregivers?

To me this is a no brainer. You have a good job, you enjoy it and you are aware that staying in the workplace is advantageous from a long term point of view. I would absolutely 100% go back.

And as a mother of now teenage children, can I reassure you that going back to work isn't something you do if you somehow don't enjoy being at home with your kids as much as some mums. It isn't like that at all. I am sure I enjoyed my days at home with my kids every bit as much as SAHMS (I worked 3 days a week) . So please don't feel that the fact you enjoy being at home should somehow be a reason to not return. You will enjoy both!
I was able to step back up to full time when my youngest was 4 and tbh although my pension pot isn't going to be quite full (due to my part time years when the kids were tiny) it's really not bad at all, and I've also since had a couple of promotions. If I'd stepped out of the workplace completely I think I'd be in a far weaker position now.

Just one point- your child is quite a bit older than mine were when I returned. So be prepared that the separation thing may be more tricky initially as its a harder age for the child to get used to someone new. But as long as you stay calm and know that this is a normal thing and that your child will be happy as anything within a couple of weeks then you'll be fine.

There's nothing to beat that feeling of coming home after a days work to a happy smiling child. Good luck

the heart and the head rarely agree. To be honest Id go back as it does on paper sound a bonus of a deal, but, decide with dh/dp a time frame to reassess. EG go back but in April you will discuss if its working and if you are unhappy then you might leave and/or find another job depending on the reasons for going....

That way you feel you have a get out clause if you need it and its discussed and agreed between you both so dp gets some input too, rather than you bottling things up and no comms between you at home.

It is hard to go back when you have small children. I went through the motions with every one of them! However, as my eldest children are now in primary school it really does feel like it's worth persevering with the work thing. Primarily I would say that times are getting tougher and tougher in the job market and we don't know when they will get better, so giving up a job today will not guarantee finding one tomorrow!

Also life is getting more and more expensive, so having a dual income does make things a little easier, especially when the children are at school and most of it is in your pocket instead of the nanny's, childminder's or nursery!!!

I would recommend at least giving it a go for a few months - you can always resign if it does not work out!

Also, its just far easier to find another job when you are already employed for some reason....