Back to work on Monday and very tearful

[Abe99]

I'm back to work on Monday leaving my darling daughter and I'm not sure how I'll cope at all. I think leaving her on Monday morning will actually break my heart

Settling in sessions at nursury have been a disaster with constant tears so may have to look for a nanny instead (she was only going to go in for one day and finding a nanny for one day is proving very difficult). My parents will look after her for three days and luckily they are amazing with her.

Work itself is horrendous - really long hours, ridiculous politics... but it pays well and we can't live without my salary. I'll be working a four day week (work reluctantly agreed to this) but have been given no reduction in workload.

How do other people cope? Will it ever get easier?

could you look for a childminder as they often have 1 day a week gaps where mums work pt
I don't think you will know how it is until you start - I have quite enjoy having some adult company for instance!

Yes it does get better - honestly I went back to work three days a week and my dd1 is in nursery two days a week and one day with my mum. She has settled in now although it did take a few weeks of tears from both of us. I now feel ok about it and know that is happy and having fun with other kids. I am now thinking about what to do next as I have a dd2 five months so still in mat leave at the moment...

It does get better.... but I would say not much.
I went back when DS was 4 months old. I cried every evening for about 2 months as I BF him, thinking about all the things I was missing out on during the day, and the little time I was getting to spend with him....
Now he's 9 months, and I suppose I have hardened a bit - but am thinking about having another one quickly, if only to have the maternity leave to spend with DS1!
My top tips were to avoid having a photo on my desk, and also I avoided going out for lunch during the day, as hated seeing other babies with their mothers, or even just hearing them laugh or babble - reminded me of my LO, and made me miss him.

Sorry, didn't mean to get you down, just to tell you you re not alone, and yes it does get better, to an extent.

Dunno love, tell you soon as I go back very soon. Ive howled in the shower during DD settling sessions. Made a noise I thought only animals in pain made. I am though trying to keep a brave face on it. I randomly burst in to tears at the strangest things and Im hugging her so tight I may actually hurt her. It feels like Im losing her, I feel Im in grief?

Then my head kicks in and you know I probably am grieving...Im losing the life Ive had for a solid year, and worked hard at achieving to go back to work. My old life Ive kind of outgrown. So Im trying to do things; Im rearranging clothes to be easy to pick out and put outfits together (Gok Wan-ing myself) Ive created a notebook via photo box with pics of dd on it to use in the office. Ive created a desk calendar too of her. I'm planning what to take back in and trying although I hate it, to make it positive because Im hoping that when I get there and dd is in nursery its not so bad.... And Im hoping for no 2....

Ive also with some other parents we know set up a baby group on our day off tougher so Im keeping in regular contact with our new friends. Im not losing the past year, I just need to do stuff so it grows with us. Unfortunately dd is growing up and already I remember my mum crying when I left home. It starts much earlier than I realised......

Thanks for all the messages.

It was pretty bad and my DD missed me terribly especially the day she was in nursury.

I do think it will get better but as Coco says not by much - but thanks for all the kind words, it good to know I am not alone.

Ahh I feel for you. Do you really need to go back?