What are your childcare back-up plans?

[Brynn]

I need some ideas!

So, I'd like to know what you do when your kids are ill and unable to attend nursery/school or go to the childminders. DS (3) seems to pick up bugs continuously during the winter season: two lots of D&V and croup so far, as well as countless colds with him up half the night coughing. I'm a bit worried about how I'll manage this when I (hopefully) return to work in 2012.

So if you have no local relatives and no permanent nanny, what do you do when one of your kids isn't able to go to nursery for a few days or more? Temporary nanny agency? Use annual leave? Share time off work with OH?

I don't want any potential employer feeling like I'm taking liberties if I'm phoning up and asking for parental leave every few weeks during the autum/winter!

Am I worrying about this too much? And how often do your kids tend to get too sick for nursery? A lot of the time DS is only ill with coughs and colds at night, but is fine during the day but for extreme over-tiredness (he won't nap). He can be very grumpy and out of character, but a nursery should be able to handle that, yes? Although I'm feeling guilty just thinking about it...

Use annual leave? Share time off work with OH?

exactly that

it settles down when they're at school

Same as istfallx, dh gets 5 days caring leave a year (we use them all every year), I fortunately have a very flexible boss (who's also a parent) so can work at home if need be. And they do get less sick. This term have only had to work from home twice and hubby has only used two caring leave days so far. November always the worst for some reason, not sure why, but we always have illness in Nov.

We use leave, and share it between us. But coughs and colds always meant going to nursery - they always coped

I went back part time in Jan with DD in nursery on those days and we have used a mixture of:

• "emergency days" - I'm allowed to take 2 days off a year for domestic emergencies which includes childcare;

• annual leave - both DP and I set aside 3 days annual leave for needing for childcare, I've used all 3 of my days & DP has used one of his. DD usually sleeps more when ill so, if I work during her naps, then, a couple of times, work have allowed me to just take a half day when I've actually been out of the office for a full day;

• ibuprofen just before drop off - nursery will give one dose of calpol if they have a temp and, if that works, will usually keep them at nursery until pick up. Therefore, if DD has a cold or is teething badly, we'll give her ibuprofen just before drop off which normally keeps the pain/temp under control until lunchtime and then we'll get a call asking if its OK to give her calpol which will usually keep things under control for another few hours, possibly until pick up. Otherwise, we'll get a call which will involve one of us (usually DP as he works closer to nursery) leaving work an hour or so early but he'll then go in extra early the next day to make up time. I know this sounds mean but its not as if everyone takes time off work when they "just" have a cold. Obviously when she's feeling really sorry for herself, we'll take time off;

• being ill myself - not planned this but the first D&V bug which DD picked up, I got 24 hours after her so I had the first day of her illness as annual leave, the second day as sick (as I was ill myself) and then the third day I was off sick again by which time DD was back at nursery. I felt really bad ringing in sick on day 2 as, in my child free days, if a colleague had done that, I would never have believed them;

• spreading my working days during the week - rather than working three consecutive days, my days are spread during the week which, in my case, means that, unless DD is sick on Mon night/Tues morning, she will only have to miss one day of nursery to meet the 48 hour exclusion period as the other 24 hours will be on one of the days I'm with her anyway.

I hope that helps! Looking back, in the past 12 months, DD has had 3 days off with D&V, 1 day off with a cold, 3 days off with a bad dose of hand, foot & mouth and has been sent home an hour early on two occasions with a cold. She would have had to have an extra week off if she hadn't come down with chicken pox when we were on holiday.

When choosing a nursery, it is worth checking their exclusion policies (do they give calpol; do they take children with hand,foot & mouth or slapped cheek provided they're well in themselves; what about conjunctivitis; how long do they have to stay away for if they are sick or have a loose nappy) as it can make quite a lot of difference to how it goes. The son of a friend goes to the other nursery in the village and seems to be constantly being sent home with something which I don't think our nursery would bother us about.

Yes combination of me and OH taking AL - we have been quite lucky though
and it has mainly been a few daysof D&V - the only one that was a long time was chicken pox - I was off work for another reason when DS1 had it - DS2 hasn't had it yet ...
this was one reason why I chose a childminder because I was happier with the though of DCs going when a bit under the weather as I knew my CM would be be happy to cope with them - say wanting to be held/on her kneee alot
have also done the work from home a bit thing with a sick child - worked from home quite alot with the job anyway

We have so far soldiered through with a combination of:

• a very understanding childminder
• ad hoc nursery sessions (if childminder unwell)
• swaps with friends
• grandparents
• local teenagers / older ladies who are happy to look after the DCs in our house

Of course that doesn't work if they're really ill and then either DH or I will have to take time off, but ill children are usually fairly content to veg on the sofa all day so you can actually get quite a lot of work done with them there.

Thanks for the replies, these have been very helpful.

Murtette, the nursery we're registered with has a reasonable attitude (on paper), which seems pretty standard compared with all the other nurseries in our area. 48 hours after D&V, conjuctivitis OK once on anti-biotics, but good point about the calpol/ibuprofen administering. I'll email them and check that.

At the moment my plan is to return 3 days a week in summer 2012. I've got two kids going to the nursery, DS will be almost 4 and DD who'll be almost a year then. That's a lot of winters to get through...

Hopefully I'll be able to muddle through illness with a combination of using annual leave, making up lost time through working at home in the evenings, and getting my mum on the train to help out with prolonged sickness.

Glad to be of help - if you have a partner - you don't say but don't like to assume - I would say do establish the principle that they will also do some illness cover and ideally some drop off and pick ups. In my experience it is much harder working if one person is responaible for all of it - and then you will have school coming up with is a whole different thing - parents evenings, plays etc etc

I have found the first winter is the worst, but you muddle through. And then they become indestructible! But certainly the responsibility has to be shared between you and your partner if you have one, alternating half-days off if necessary and working from home if you can or taking days off. I would take unpaid leave if absolutely necessary, but there are also laws that allow time off without pay in case of family emergency so you are protected that way too.

alot of GP wont give antibiotics for conjunctivitis now as it is self limiting......apparently.

DH .

I've always got him to do most of the sickness cover in the year after mat leave, for fear of looking flaky when I'm trying to get settled back into work. after that first year their immune system tends to be pretty well established, so sickness is less frequent. his employer is also more understanding than mine with regards to personal emergencies of any sort. And yes, both of us hoard annual leave to use in these circumstances.

I also agree with Murtette that if you are part-time, spreading your working days helps. I do Tues, Thurs and Fri am, so if dd2 is ill on tues, we have a duvet day on Weds, and chances are she's well enough for nursery again on Thurs. And our nursery is very pragmatic about having them if they're just a little off colour with coughs and colds, rather than properly ill.

Understanding boss means I take as emergency leave, as no local help. My mum has come down on train if I need more than 1 day ( and not D&V or other awful illness I don't want to expose her to).

I work 3 days a week and usually just take it as emergency leave but one winter both children had various illnesses for weeks so I ended up booking extra nursery days and going into work extra days as felt I was taking the p a bit. Manager really didn't mind but I felt guilty about it!