Support thread for those settling in their DC with a CM/nursery/other carer

[bankholiday]

DS will be 11 months in January when he starts with a childminder 4 days a week. We are settling him in very slowly, and I left him with her for the first time last week (he knew her from before, we'd been to her house once a week a few times). It was only 20 minutes, but it broke my heart. My very happy little boy screamed when I left and he was crying when I came back. He them clinged to me and sobbed and sighed for 10 minutes or so, he was so upset.

CM says this is common, she held him the whole time and tried to distract him, but nothing really worked. We are going again on Thu, and I'll try to leave him this time for 30 minutes.

I know it's not the end of the world, but it really breaks my heart. I don't want to imagine how hard it is for him, poor little poppet, feeling abandoned and not knowing if his mummy is coming back or not :(

I'm sure there are many of us in the same boat, so let's hold hands, even if the hand holding is just virtual!

Know exactly how you feel. I'm going back to work tomorrow and leaving my DS ( just turned 1 )with a CM. He had two settling in visits last week and it was torture. He looked at me as if I was abandoning him. I burst into tears when I left the house and fretted till I went back. He has been really clingy since. Dreading tomorrow morning. My husband keeps reminding me that we are not sending him to a workhouse and that the CM we 've picked is really great. I'll let you know how we get on.

I hope today is going well for you guthriegirl, and that your DS is ok at the CM. Is she taking photos of him or texting you when he's settled? Mine said she would do this to put my mind at rest.

Are you back at work full time? How do you find going back? I feel like I've been living in a bubble with DS for a while, I wonder if I didn't forget how to do my job.

Hi, wanted to join in . . . I go back to work on the 14th and I think I have been in complete denial. I have never left DD (11 months) with anyone other than her dad and I am starting to massively regret this . I originally planned to send her to nursery but she hated it and I couldn't bring myself to continue with this so she will be with sil (her aunty).
My job is quite full on and whilst I have being away my team has being restructured and I have a new manager so feeling completely overwhelmed by the whole thing and wishing I could just be a SAHM

Hi MadameJ, I know what you mean about being in denial. Neither DH nor I are British and we have no family in the UK, so we didn't leave DS with anyone, either. We have the second settling in session tomorrow and I dread it...

I am going back 4 days a week and am quite lucky, my job, while being demanding, is quite flexible, and I can work from home a lot, but there are some overnight stays and long days spent travelling, so not looking forward to that at all. I wish I could be a SAHM too...

Hi! First chance i've had to go online since I returned to work. Been a hell of a week. Snow on Tues made travel to work a nightmare and today100mph wind! Anyway, DS doing ok at CM. In for full day on Tues. He was a fine in morning but a bit unsettled in the afternoon. He only had a half day on Wed as he got his MMR in the morning and my DH took the morning off. Also had a short day today as I was sent home due to weather. He gets really upset when we drop him off and it's horrendous leaving him like that. The CM does text to let me know how he is and she gives me a full update when I pick him up. I'm really happy with the CM but it's really hard leaving him. I'm also finding my day really exhausting. I have to bring work home to do when my son goes to sleep and i am already ( 3 days in) falling behind. I'm hoping things will get easier when we all settle into the new routine.