After school club or childminder? Help me decide

[becstarsky]

Like it says really... Likely to be starting FT work very soon and I need to get it booked, but am dithering hopelessly

After school club -

Advantages - DS likes the idea of going, it's cheap, it's at school so he's in a familiar environment, I know other people who use it and are happy with it

Disadvantages - it finishes at 6pm and I've got a long commute which will be awkward, the only other boy in DSs class who goes there has got 'history' with DS and they are kept apart by teachers - at one point DS was scared to go to school because of this boy (DS says that won't be a problem, but DS is only 5yo and a sensitive soul so I'm skeptical), it closes for strikes/sickness/last day of term whereas maybe a childminder would be willing to do extra hours in school holidays(? is this even true?)

Childminder -

Advantages - I spoke to one who is open until 7pm which would really help my commute, I could take DS to meet her and if he likes her he might feel more secure there? Maybe she would do extra hours for us sometimes like in school holidays if she's willing?

Disadvantages - I don't have any word of mouth recommendation - all my friends use the after school club (but they have little girls - no way will DS play with girls...even if the only boy there is one who has given him a black eye in the past) so I've just got this CM's name from the FIS vacancies list and I know nothing about her and I'm stupidly nervous about that. She's the only local CM with a vacancy.

I would go and visit the childminder anyway even to help you make the decision to go for the out of school club. I know the out of school club is cheaper but as you say what happens if you are delayed coming home & what about drop off's in the morning are you or someone else able to do that or do you need a childminder for that as well?

I am a childminder myself and care for a wide age range of children over a wide time-scale during the day & in the holidays. Not all my school age children do before & after school, some do just in the mornings & some just in the afternoons, with quite a few using holiday clubs plus friends, family & personal holidays during the school holidays. Personally this suits me as I don't want masses of children in the holidays, I often have up to 7 or 8 anyway. After school clubs don't suit all children and they prefer to be at a childminder's, other children are happy in a club. Also at 5 years old your son might suit a childminder setting better instead of all the older & therefore bigger children running around, with him wanting to join in & getting over tired. As a childminder would be able to offer somewhere to be active, do craft activities, have an evening meal (not a snack which is more likely at the club) and somewhere to generally chill out as he wants, not as he is being organised into doing.

I would also ask to see the childminder's Ofsted report as that will give you a good idea of what she is like and ask for references from her. I would rather a parent asked me for these sort of things if it is going to help them decide.

I understand fully that cost is a major factor for after school clubs but also consider the fact that the childminder will get to know ds well & vice versa plus she could well be known at school, with the bonus of being available on strike/snow/inset days as well as holidays.

Thanks badgerhead those are really useful thoughts. It's really good to hear that you would be happy for someone to ask to see your Ofsted and ask for references - I was going to ask but it's good to know that it's expected iyswim.

I've taken your advice and set up a meeting with the childminder tomorrow with DS so that he gets to meet her too. That might assuage his worries. At the moment he's adamant that he doesn't want a childminder, he wants to go to after school - but I think that might just be because after school club is a familiar environment and at the moment the childminder is a stranger to him. When he's met her he might feel more secure about the whole thing.

And you're so right about the strike/snow/inset days and the possibilities of being delayed on my way home. I'm in London so delays are always possible... I think a childminder will be a much less stressful option for me - I just hope DS likes her tomorrow. Thanks so much for replying. I'm quite nervous about it all!

I would add go a couple of times before you decide
but I prefer CM for my DS - Y1- I think a home atmosphere with a range of age of children is really nice. I find it really flexiable and mine does some holiday cover which really helps

Thank you An0therName. We went yesterday. I really liked her. DS was very happy while we were there, and when we came away he said that he really liked her. But then when we were on the bus home he announced that he didn't like her at all. He's quite anxious about me going back to work and I actually think that second reaction was once he remembered that if he liked her then she would pick him up from school instead of me... But I've recently heard that the after school club is scheduled to be closed because of the govt cuts - so even if I went for that option it would be a stopgap. I think at the moment the CM is the right choice. But it is all quite stressful - I'm not sleeping, so het up about it all...

I would choose the CM. There is nothing worse than being stuck on the way home worried about not getting back in time to collect from ASC and frantically ringing round to find a friend that can do the pick up for you. At least with the CM you know you don't have to worry about being late. Ds used to have a CM but prefers ASC as all his friends go there and his CM preferred to look after babies and toddlers.

Yes MollieO I think I would find that really stressful and it's quite a long commute through central London... And the CM said she was happy to do school holidays, happy to do odd days for strikes/snow, that if I was late she'd just charge me the extra time - her attitude was 'sometimes you get stuck on the tube, I know what it's like, don't worry'. Her two kids both went to the same primary DS is at (they're grown up now) so she gave me the names of teachers there who know her and was happy to give me other references. It's going to be alright isn't it? I even started another thread yesterday because I was in such a state about it that I was on the point of tears just before going to meet the CM with DS. I am being so daft.

sounds like the CM is great - take up the references through

• but you have a lot on your plate - when do you start? A new job and new child care is a big deal for you both - so don't be down on yourself for feeling stressed - just done it myself - after the first week its been fine. Could you do a trial run when the CM picks him up a couple of times before you start - then you will know he is ok

An0thername thank you! It looks like they might not need someone to start until January, so I should be able to do a bit more 'settling in' with the CM than I initially thought, which is great - gives me some time to get organised and calm down