Any relationships where both partners travel for work?

[gomez]

Looking for views/advice/experience here please.

12 months a go I returned to work from mat leave part-time on the basis that I would leave in the Autumn to retrain. For a number of reasons that hasn't happened and I need to move on, in the short-term/medium term to a job which I enjoy. I may revisit the change in career in 3 years or so.

An opportuniy has arisen with a blue-chip firm which is very, very tasty. BUT will require a fair amount of travel - 25 to 35 percent. When not travelling a degree of flexible working/working from home possible. Travel will in the main be international of varying duration but likely 2 weekly trips. Some UK and short-haul European trips too.

However DH travels for work too, his is more client driven and in his own control to a degree. Mine would be fairly well planned. He is supportive and agrees that if I decide to move then childcare responsibilities must become more evenly shared.

I have an intrinsic feeling of unease that it Just Won't Work.

Can anyone help with views or experiences.

hi gomez

do you feel happy about your decision? don't worry, there will be other things out there which are more family friendly.

good luck

I did it (travelling more than DH), and we juggled our schedules where poss and had live-in nanny as well. Looking back, I think I must have been absolutely mad - flying to London (4 hour flight from where I was) when DD1 was 12 weeks old - flight couldn't land due to fog, had to go back to Gatwick...also flew to Moscow when 7 months pregnant with DD2. My boss was so down on me for taking 2 lots of maternity leave within a 4 year contract, that I just think I went into overdrive, determined that being a mother wouldn't affect my ability to do the job.

BK - I actually breathed a huge sigh of relief after I spoke with them so I feel that says it all!

The whole idea was bloody madness really. Although I returned to my current role today to a large pile of poo, unfulfilled committments and a pile of flannel from senior staff who should know better and did have a small moment of doubt!

I do hope you can resolve things at work too.

gomez, i think it does say it all really. good luck with your job hunt

Gomez, I thought of you this morning.

I'm leaving in a few hours for a business trip to New York and Miami and I won't be back until next Thursday morning. All the back-up is in place - fabulous live-in nanny, DH, Granny and my brother coming over this weekend to help out. The trip has some unusually glamorous components (sunshine, swanky resort hotel and off-days).....and it still hurt like hell when I waved goodbye to the DDs as they trundled off to school and pre-school. Plus, every business trip abroad, evokes that primeval maternal fear that I won't come back and will leave my children without a mother. In fact, I feel quite snivelly right now.

Good decision Gomez!

I hope you have a good trip Issymum. Gomez, I think you've done the right thing. I've been working away during the week for the past 6 months and it's been very, very hard on all of us but particularly the children. Ds is waking at night, dd is hysterical when I leave, dh and I hardly see each other. I know our situation is extreme and different to your proposed situation but I have to say, never, ever again, will I take a job away from home or involving a travel component. Good for you, I'm glad you feel you've made the right decision.