Is 3 hours of commuting a day doable?

[joanofarchitrave]

Just that really.

I had an interview today that went well. It would involve 2 hours of commuting most days and 3 hours perhaps twice a week. I really, really don't want to move, although I would consider it in 3 years when ds would be coming up to secondary. Can family life survive??

ooh x posts.

Also it's great to be able to pay for music lessons, but in over a year of ds learning, dh has actually supervised all of 2 practice sessions. I suppose I could spend that money on Ginsters for the journey.

Dh travels 1-1.5hrs each way . 5 or 6 days a week. Its mind numbing but very doable.

i've done it. but it was pre-children. for over a year i drove 1hr 20mins each way to commute to work, total of 2hrs 40mins each day. have to admit, there were some days i hated the drive, particularly in the winter, but yes it is doable.

we moved when dd came along and that commute was still 50mins each way.

Do factor in the cost of the commuting to your calculations as to whether it is viable. And also the (inevitable) snacks along the way. How much difference does £200 a month make to you? What about when fares and fuel prices go up?

1.5 hours each way sitting on a nice warm train is fine.

1.5 hours standing on two packed trains, tubes, several changes, lots of walking etc. is less fine.

I did the latter for about six months, and it nearly killed me. On many occasions the journey home was delayed due to weather/cancellations, necessitating apologetic phone calls to child-minders. Grim.

If DH is at home and on call for emergencies then it's doable. If you were both doing that commute then it wouldn't (unless you had very helpful DPs living next door).
Also, will you be leaving at 5 on the dot every day? Lots of people have a half hour commute but don't leave the office until 6 or 7 each night.

Yeah, I think having to change trains makes things really quite difficult.

In my previous job I drove 4 hours each way because (a) the train involved 3 changes plus buses either end, (b) the train took much longer and some of that time would be sitting around cold and draughty train stations, and (c) the train cost more than twice as much as the petrol. Driving for 8 (and often 10) hours a day as preferable to that! This is not a sane commute and I would definitely not recommend it.

Now, it's a short walk then a very short local (very regular and reliable) train journey, then 1.5 hours on a single fast train that isn't generally all that busy in my part of the route (and where I can book a nice forward-facing table seat in advance), then a 5 minute walk to my office. It's still more expensive than driving (perhaps even taking into account stupid city centre parking charges), but easier and it takes considerably less time.

It's also worth looking at the train timetables. How regular are the trains you'd need to get? Would you end up restricted to hourly trains, or are they regular enough that a late connection wouldn't utterly screw you over? How would you get to the train station? Will there be anywhere to park of you drive? How long will finding parking take and how much will it cost? How freezing and uncomfortable are the stations you'd have to sit about in? (having once sent 4 hours in the freezing, waiting room at Watford gap just before Christmas with snow on the ground, I'd say this really matters). Can you realistically get a seat on the train, or will you be standing? Can you do any part of your work in an over-warm, crowded and noisy environment where everyone smells a bit like wet dogs?

It's perfectly doable, of course. If you have a DH who is at home and presumably in charge of school drop off and pick ups and emergencies, so you don't have childcare to worry about then it's very doable. DH does about an hour and 20 minutes each way, when his journey goes smoothly, every day.

I did that also before children. I decided I didn't want to do it with children which is why I gave up my full time 'proper' job and now run my own business at home. But the only reason I had the luxury to do that is because DH continues to commute and work long hours.

You pays your money you takes your choice really. If there are suitable jobs paying enough doing what you want to do more locally, then presumably you wouldn't consider it, so you need to think about the alternative and how doable that is in terms of what else you'd be sacrificing.

My commute is 2 hours each way and it's ok. I cycle 10 mins to the station, 1 hour and 20 on the train to London then a 30 minute walk (I could faff around on tubes for this final leg but it takes just as long). I get up at 5.30am, leave the house at 6.10am and am home (shattered) at 6.30pm.

It's very very tiring but manageable. While it is possible to work on the train (and I do get a seat), the unreliable reception and wifi connection means it's not easy to do this. I normally nod off!

However what makes this doable for me is that it is 3 days a week. I do find it very tiring and 5 days a week would take its toll. But I did do it fulltime before DD. Give it a try, if it doesn't work out, move on?

Also I don't take a lunch break so I leave at 4.30 every day so I just get the beginnings of rush hour and it means I get back in time to do tea and bath with DD. DH works nearby in the event of emergency. I relish the days that I work from home! But don't be discouraged and give it a bash!

I really appreciate the detail of all your replies. I think another job I applied for has just failed to shortlist me, so if I do get offered this it may be my only option. At least that helps to make the decision! And at least I know people are doing it, but also how tough it is. Thanks again.

I have done it, but it is very hard. Is there any flexibility to work from home once a week?

And good luck! :)

I am about to start a commute that is 1.15 each way. TBH in the south east/london there are few that are less. I lived in central london and my commute to work was 1h, now I am in Surrey and it is just an extra 15 mins door to door.

It's a long time but don;t be naive about there being an alternative.

I do this - 20 minute drive, 45 min train ride, 20 minute walk. It is hard going especially in the winter when I feel as if I don't see daylight. I wouldn't do it if I could get a job where I live. I don't think I could have done it when DCs were youger but they are teenagers now. I couldn't do it if DH didn't work 5 miles from home and is around in a crisis.

I do it. I used to do it via public transport and I was knackered. But now I drive and it's ok. I quite like driving, it's an easy-ish route and selfish I know it's just time where I can switch off. No work, no jobs to do, no one else wanting my attention (except the road of course). My dh works close to our cm so he's the emergency contact. I would only do it if the job or money is worth it.

I used to do this, on public transport. I quite liked it, it was a nice relaxing time. I'd have my ipod and a book some peace and quiet, or as much peace and quiet as you can get on a bus and a train! I always made sure I went for the bus or train before the one that would get me in on time, IYSWIM, then if that didn't turn up I should have been able to get the next one and be ok.

Another one with a lengthy commute - 2 hours each way, 5 days per week. We only manage because OH works very close to where we live, and can do childcare pick ups/drop offs. It's grim, as I don't really get to work on the journey (coach, then underground), but on my way home, I do catch up on phone calls, etc. It costs a lot, but I couldn't find work in my field, at my level, any closer to home....

I do about 3h a day 2-3 days a week but work from home the rest of the time. And the commute is only during term time anyway (university lecturer) which is about 6-7 months of the year. I get fed up of it but it isn't every day, month in, month out which I think is the killer

Yes I'm a single parent to an eight year old and I do 3 hrs of commuting a day. I do it for the pay and long term career prospects.

Zombie thread!

what pay level would justify this?

I've done the 5 hour a day travel thing for 10 years and it's not good. I tried to escape to a local job but it imploded. Two things not mentioned are lack of activity (my middle has completely changed shape through all that sitting, with an 8 hour desk job as well, despite daily cycling) and the damage to your social life. So if you go for it, get a good exercise routine and keep your relationships going! People can forget you especially if you're a single parent and slaving away.