Both parents working full time with long commutes - anyone else manage this?

[Rockdoctor]

Have been looking to go back to work for six months now - having been made redundant two years ago. A couple of options seem to be materialising at the moment. One gives me flexibility/part-time but is essentially freelancing from home so wouldn't necessarily be secure or regular work. The other is full-time and a return to a career path that I would have jumped at pre-children. Financially, i need to do something and can't keep on looking for the perfect part-time job.

The issue is that the full-time role involves quite a long commute so both DH and myself would be working full time and commuting. We would be looking at full time childcare for our two pre-schoolers, probably a combination of nursery (which they do already) and a nanny. We could both potentially work from home a day a week but I doubt I could negotiate much more flexibility into the full-time role at the moment.

Does anyone else manage this type of situation or am I dreaming that both parents can work full-time in this kind of situation.

I have two preschoolers in full time nursery, DH and I both work full time and commute for an hour each way.

the way we work it is:
I go into work early (arrive at 7.30) while DH takes the kids to nursery and gets to work just after 9am
I leave at 4.30 and go and pick up the kids, DH leaves at about 5.30 and gets home in time for bed.

It requires a lot of organisation, but is definitely doable. The main problems I have are when work spills over into overtime - i can't just stay late on a whim and often find myself starting work again at 8pm to make up a shortfall. we are both in flexible workplaces, so we can swap duties if one of us needs to be in a meeting or away at an awkward time.

We both make use of occasional days at home just to take the pressure off the timetable a bit, or if one of us is away you can fit in dropping off and picking up easier if you work from home.

I have no idea what happens when my eldest is school age and they both need to be in different places at different times...

I think this is a really hard puzzle to work out and gets even harder when your children are at school, rather than nursery, because of the shorter days/longer holidays/extra-curricular activities requiring chauffeuring/playdates etc. Have you thought about having a FT nanny/housekeeper going forwards for the foreseeable future (eg right through primary school) who can do childcare and housework/cooking?

Hi and thanks for the responses - it's nice to know that others manage it. Unfortunately, most of the mums I know are working part-time or SAHM so I don't have anything to compare.

Yes, I have thought of a full-time nanny going forwards but they are so happy at nursery I don't want to take them out straight away so thinking I would probably transition from nursery/nanny to full-time nanny over a few months. The only issue is that I would probably be asking a nanny to do five 12-hour days - which is a bit much isn't it?

Five 12-hour days is quite standard for a nanny, I think, providing you aren't expecting her to be on her feet all day doing housework and ironing for every second she isn't with the children.

We have one in nursery mornings-only, and one at breakfast club at the nursery and then at school, and an afternoon nanny who picks up from nursery, supervises naptime and cooks some food, then picks older child up from school, and then either they go to the park or to an activity or home.

The arrangement works well for us, we love that our children have time together after school. It gives us flexibility to book extra time at nursery if the nanny is on holiday etc. or, if a child is ill, either to book extra time with the nanny or to work from home in the morning.

Currently on mat leave, but work involves 30 miles commute (60 mile roundtrip) which takes, depending on traffic around 45 minutes to an hour. I used to drop my husband off at his work on the way to work and picked him up in the evenings as it was on the way anyway so we both dropped off and picked up our daughter together which meant 10 hour days at nursery for her, but it didnt seem to affect her negatively, she loves her nursery.

Downside to this arrangement was little flexibility for me to do overtime - or rather needing at least a day's notice to arrange working overtime, so my husband could cycle 15 miles into work and get back to pick her up from nursery.

He now has a job closer by which means I'm not giving him lifts anymore and I can be more flexible when I go back to work.

We're doing something similar and with school age children it isn't ideal. The key is flexibility in your work as I think school is more demanding, later start time, needing to find after school care, homework, long, long holidays (& schools schedule days off with little notice).

All the others tasks like housework have to be planned - it is do'able but does depend on the child/ren. My older girls were happy with childcare, the younger would prefer that he had parents around. Sadly part time jobs seem rarer these days so not sure what options couples actually have.

I have 3 children of 4 and under. Dh and I both work full time, and commute each way is min 45 minutes for both of us. He starts work at 6.45 and leaves at 6am back at 7pm.
Only way we make it work is to have a nanny. I get boys up and start breakfast then leg it out the door after nanny arrives at 7.30. I get home by 6 to do bath and bedtime at 7.30. Exhausting but I get to spend at least 3 hours with the boys.

Thanks everyone. I'm leaning towards taking the full-time option and seeing how it goes. As Anniemac says, with a bit of luck I might be able to negotiate some flexibility later on. DH is also looking to shift his hours a bit so he can at least do a pick-up or drop-off a couple of days a week.