Been back at work for 6 months and not happy

[HelloBear]

I do a very stressful job and before I went on MW I was finding it difficult and it was getting me down. But I (naively) thought that after a year off I would go back refreshed and I would be happy.

Well after 3 weeks I was in tears again during and after work (and I am NOT a crier) but I have stuck at it because there are aspects of my job I like. Things seemed to get better but recently I have totally lost my confidence and feel like I am not doing my job very well. So again I am feeling really down about it, to the point were I am having physical symptoms (shaking, headaches, feeling sick and the old favourite crying).

My DH earns a good wage and we could manage on his wage if we cut back on non essentials. In my heart I know that I can not continue the way I am going BUT the idea of not working just horrifies me. I have had to do three years of training and have 5 years of experience in my job and am totally unqualified to do anything other than it. There is nothing I really want to do instead but I like the idea of just doing a job where I turn up do what is needed and just leave (on tills, admin, reception work etc) and just accept the lower wage.

Has anyone done this? Just left a professional role to take an 'easier' job? (sorry do not mean to insult anyone - I hope people know what I mean)

If so has it been better? What are the pitfalls?

Or in the current financial climate am I just CRAZY to think about leaving a relatively well paid job (for the public sector so good pension) with good leave etc, etc? Should I just be saying suck it up girl and get on with it.

Heck this was long, sorry!

First of all hugs this is a very hard situation to be in.

If I were you I would seriously look at what is it that is making your job so stressful and is anything anyone can do to help? Have you talked to your manager about how you feel? Have you been to your GP? Between your GP and your work you should be able to work together to find a plan that works.

Failing all that, I would never compromise my health for a job. If I felt that I have tried everything as above and still didn't work out, I would leave. I would leave and look for other work. I am not sure the low paid work is necessarily stress free or it would make you happier, tbh, there are downsides to that too. Before looking for low paid work I would try and look for something related to what you do. It is a hard climate to be looking for work but there is still some movement for qualified, experienced people.

Good luck and I hope this was a little helpful..

I really feel for you as I could have written your post word for word, except the part about your dh earning a good wage. In my household I am the breadwinner so I am obliged to continue in my stressful but relatively well paid job no matter what.

If you really can't see a way through this, I would take the lower paid job if I were you. Life is too short to be so unhappy at work, especially if you don't have to do it.

Is your dh supportive of your idea?

Best of luck whatever you decide.

I agree with onceinawhile.

Can you pinpoint exactly what it is you find so stressful? Is it some aspect which is a fundamental part of your chosen field, ie: would you simply transport the same problem with you even if you moved to the same job elsewhere? Or is to do with systems or personnel specific to your workplace?

If you really feel the job is not for you, then I also agree with researching related fields. If you spent 3 years training, you must have an awful lot of skills and knowledge which could no doubt be used in similar fields?

I suspect that a total switch to not working would not be fulfilling (you say you cant imagine not working) and also its not just about whether your dh earns enough- its about your feeling of selfworth, and also security of a pension etc. I also suspect switching to a low paid low pressure job might become dull and frustrating quite quickly.

No one wants to be unhappy for their working life- but I expect there is a middle ground here .

Thank you for your kind and considerate replies.

bushy - I am sorry that you do not have the freedom to make some changes, I hope a solution is found for you.

callmemrs and ocean - I think you are right I need to look at what else there is my field, there are other areas but with the strong emotions I had last night I just wanted NOTHING to do with it any more, but there are lots of other possibilities and I need to look at them.

But first after a night of sleep I realise that I need to sit down with my manger and discuss what I am worried about - which is I feel I am not meeting the requirements for my job. I have had a number of emails from her highlighting things that I have not done and another team member made a comment about some work I had done (in a way I feel that was unprofessional, too public and not her role - leading to total mental down last night).

I need to check with my manager if she feels there is an issue with my work and what needs to be done/what support can I get. I guess after all the hard work I have done I feel devastated that it is possible I am not doing a good job.

Fortunately I have a big night out with some great friends tonight - my DH is having the baby and I can just forget it all for a night (with a little help with )

Thank you again.