Hello all,
I am going to out myself in this. But really need some advice.
I have been signed off work for about 3 weeks (so far - doc doesn't think that I will be back before Christmas). I am suffering from work-related stress due to what i see as being bullied by my superiors. I returned to work last November following the birth of my DS in May, and had some teething troubles (didn't want to be at work, missed my baby, no retraining etc etc) and tool a while to settle. Fast forward to May time, and I get pulled into a meeting about my 'poor performance'. I was not given the option of having someone attend with me (am a member of Unison) or warned that this would essentially be a roasting.
My immediate line manager and my sergeant proceeded to go through a laundry list of all the misdeeds I had done since my return the previous November, and expressed their disgust at my behaviour. (none of the issues impacted on the public in any way - I have only ever had one complaint from the public and that was that I looked 'tired' - no great shock when I am being questioned on my performance and dealing with a toddler...)
They put me on an Action Plan for 3 months. I was absolutely distraught by this, and refused to go on a social evening with my team as I felt they had all been sneaking behind my back and making spurious complaints instead of talking to me about any issues.
After the three months were up, my line manager left but was brought back in to put me on another action plan. This was because I had not completed an action on my previous action plan - I had not noted down contact with about 7 people that we need to speak to once a month, although I had done it I hadn't recorded it so it couldn't be proven. Added to this was a line about 'being appropriate on social media sites' when I put a non-specific moan about not wanting to spend time with people that would stab me in the back (that was unprofessional of me.) there was also an issue of 'work not being handed over correctly' - some of my paperwork ended up in a colleagues tray, and instead of asking me about it they went to the sergeant and had a moan. This led to the sergeant asking 2 other people what was happening (none of them being me) and nothing being said to me until this was brought up in this meeting.
After the first action plan I felt that I was being monitored so made a conscious effort to be professional and mature about this. However, the second has knocked my confidence to the point where I stopped interacting with the public in case I got a complaint because I felt I could not do my job.
On top of this, things at home are particularly strained as my partner lost his job and was struggling to get one, and we are in some debt, with only my part-time wages to live on and pay rent.
Now, I am on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety tablets because I am having panic attacks and I am too scared to drive, and the idea of getting on a train etc scares the life put of me.
I am a police community support officer btw.
Will I be able to return to work in the New Year on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety pills? I think it might have H&S implications although I don't think I could face the public anyway as I am too scared to leave my house on my own...
Sorry this post is so long, thank you for reading and gettin through the garbled nonsense
WWYD? Should I contact my HR and let them know? Should I resign? I'm bloody confused :(