Stay At Home Mums - advice please!

[MoominDPS]

Hi ladies,

I am pregnant with my first baby and my thoughts are already turning to what I will do after my maternity leave is up. Although my partner's job is freelance and therefore a little unpredictable, I really don't like my job very much and once I have paid childcare fees, I don't see there being much change anyway. And that's if I were able to stay working full-time. I work in central London which means I am out of the house for at least 11 hours of the day - I don't think this would work with a baby in tow so I guessing I would have to cut my hours and therefore pay to accommodate this. Because of the nature of my partner's job, I would have to be responsible for the majority of the care, which means I need to be as flexible as possible.

All of which leads me to think there MUST be a way I can be a full-time mother and somehow make some money from home. I could also then act as my partner's PA to help him with his work. My mum was a stay-at-home mum and I know I loved having her around growing up. She was always able to take me to and from school, come to all school events etc. and I would love to have that kind of set up for my family. But, I wonder if I am dreaming that this is feasible. My salary is £34k so it would be quite a shock but then I think about how much of that goes on frivolous, unnecessary things - as a 35 year old I am a classic example of someone who uses their disposable income to the max. I have experience as an executive assistant, as well as being trained as a massage therapist and I used to work in publishing and did some journalism. I'm thinking there must be something there that I can use?!?

Does anyone have any general advise/thoughts? Also, can anyone advise me on what kind of benefits are available to stay-at-home mothers - or is it the same for working mothers? I do want to work, but I think I want/need to find something that would work around my future family. I'm sure you all have many pearls of wisdom between you. Anyone feel like sharing?!

X

I don't have any advice on how to make money working at home but in terms of benefits it depends on your partners income (wtc and ctc). You will get child benefit of course (well until the rules change if your DH is high tax bracket). There are no benefits per se for a SAHM except child benefit if your partner is very high income.

I would start saving all you can now and pull together a provisional budget based on his salary.

You could compare this budget to what it would be if you worked and paid for childcare as this would be a new post baby expense if you went back to work.

Make sure you are not paying too much tax/get a rebate if you leave work for good. I recently got £2.2k off the taxman after filing a p50.

I've found it's far easier to live cheaply than make money by say starting a business or freelancing for example. Looking after a baby/toddler is a full time job and it's hard to do a lot more than this.

I think some people manage being skint better than others. Some people also find staying at home is not for them, in that they either love their jobs or find it hard being alone with a baby all day. It helps to keep an open mind until you see what sort of a mum you will be.

Hi there, I was in similar position to you and did return to work for about 18 months and really struggled with it, really pressured juggling childcare and working away and felt like I was missing out on so much.

I left work in March this year to go freelance (PR & Marketing) and it was the best thing I ever did. It's still a bit hairy at times but there's a lot to be said for the freedom of flexible working - so you can work around the childcare say in the evenings and at weekends and if it's a nice day and you want to go to the park for few hours or something at preschool etc, then you can!

I would start networking with people that you've worked with and seeing if there is a demand for the assistant or journalism work on an hourly rate? You might be surprised how many people would like assistance but not enough to employ someone.

Also have a look here www.direct2mum.co.uk/1186/working-from-home for a few ideas and pointers and www.workingmums.co.uk/ and www.motivatingmum.co.uk/ there's loads of support out there now.

Good luck!

Thank you both so much - your responses are really helpful and I'm going to look into some of the things you suggest sooner than later!
Have a good Tuesday :)

Hello

Direct selling companies such as Usborne Books, Avon, Jamie at Home, are very geared around family - work when you want to, as much as you want to etc. I am a single Mum and have been doing Usborne since ds was 18 months. I love it, but more to the point, I'm with him and when he starts school next year, I will be able to take him and collect him. So I've been a SAHM and had the challenge of building up my own business and earning money - perfect!

Good luck with wherever your quest takes you!

x

Hello
I choose to leave a professional job when I had my first child. Then after I had my second two years later I took up a part time evening job. This has worked for us but everyone's situation is different. My original career did not lend itself to part time working, I had no family locally & my personality was very all or nothing. I am little moderated now & looking forward to upping my hours when the youngest starts nursery in August. The hardest things are having no money (obviously) but also I often feel judged as the first thing people ask (even at parent & toddler groups) is "what do you do?" Once we had two per-schoolers child care costs would have been prohibitive for me to work . I glad we made the decisions we made for our family but be prepared to feel as though you are swimming against the tide and it is certainly not an easy option. Having said all that I do recognise that we lucky to be able to (just about) manage two pre-schoolers on one salary . Save up now & be prepared to cut your coat according to your cloth. It is all about choices really & only you know what is best for your family. Wish you all the best. It is a very exciting time!

Thanks girls - more really helpful advice that's much appreciated. Thanks for the business tips too. Exciting times indeed - and scary, but in a good way :)

If you are looking for part-time, flexible work in London this is quite a good site. Personally, I would be wary of not working at all if your DH is self-employed, but maybe that's because I'm a control freak!

Thanks Bramshott. I agree with you! I would prefer not to NOT work at all if I can help it, but would love to be able to work around being a mum - rather than the other way around, if I can. Unfortunately, I don't really have a support system to help out with childcare so this will be even more of a challenge. Where there's a will there's a way and all that though!

First of all, congratulations!

Obviously, it's still very early days but it's good to be considering your options now. Generally speaking, I think a lot depends on the level of income you want or need to make. Plus how consistent this needs to be. As mentioned, it'll be easier to cut back than to make that money - esp from a 'standing start' (I.e. If you need to generate a client base). IMHO, it'll be easier to take a PT job (evenings or weekends so you don't need childcare).

I have a 6 wk old DD and run my own business from home. But, it's only possible as I have an assistant and support network (with mums/DH). At the moment, I'm still only v PT. I'm fortunate that the work is v flexible. But, when it gets busier, I know I WILL need formal childcare.

Hi - just wanted to mention that while your dc is little you won't have much time for doing work from home unless you do work in the evenings or pay for childcare. I didn't factor this in - I don't know what I thought when I became SAHM but i'm lucky to be able to go to the loo in peace let alone do some work!

I have 4 children and have done it all, tried it all! (SAHM, Part-time working from home, full time working, etc).

My advice would be to base your decisions on the following facts:

• How secure is your DH's income
• How flexible is your current employer and if not would you be able to find similar work maybe closer to home or with a more flexible employer
• Working from home without childcare when children are little is HELL and not really doable - just about doable when they are newborn babies but not when they are toddlers!
• We are heading for harder times and you need a backup plan.

Hope this helps a bit!