Three months into new job, ... but headaches and not sleeping

[AlaskaHQ]

Well, on the off chance that anyone else is out there at 2.30am on a Sunday morning, I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts.

I went back to work after a 4 year break in August. Nice job - interesting field, reasonable commute, agreed to me working a 4 day week (not 5 days), a bit stressful getting back up to speed on everything and trying to make a good first impression, but overall definitely good. It took me about 6 months to find it, and I know I was lucky to find something, especially one that would agree to the 4 day week.

The rest of the family is coping OK. DD (3) is loving her nursery, but gets a bit tired by the end of her 4 days. DS (5) has just started Reception ... was going well but we have had some difficult behaviour issues recently, which we are trying to work with the school to resolve. DH's job is busy, unfortunately with more travel than ideal, but Grand Parents have been helpful at trying to come over to help with pickup one evening a week, when he is away. But generally, we've all been doing OK. When DH is in the UK, it is still generally me doing all of the pick-ups, but he is generally back in time to help with books & bedtime, so it is still a fairly normal family existence.

And I thought I was coping fine too, until all the headaches and not sleeping started. I just don't know what to do. I am so tired, and it is 2.30am, and I have spent 3 hours tossing and turning in bed unable to sleep, with a headache that neither paracetamol nor neurofen will touch. It has been like this on and off for about 5 weeks. And it is so crazy ... if I get enough sleep, I can cope fine with the new routine, and keep everything (the job & pickups) and everyone (the kids) on track. But I can't do it on not enough sleep, and I just can't sleep.

Any advice would be really appreciated. I always officially said (especially to PILs who somewhat disapproved of me returning to work) that I would sort of see it as a trial until Xmas, and if it didn't work out, then I would hand my notice in. But I really don't want to give this job up - I like it, and I know I was lucky to get it.

Do you think it's the lack of sleep that's bringing on the headaches or the other way round?

I'm very prone to waking up in the night and lying awake for hours thinking things over, and its always worse with a new job. I've got a deep relaxation app on my phone I use at bedtime or if I wake up. It really helps relax all muscles and so on and usually helps give me a good night right through. But if I do wake up its enough to concentrate on to avoid dwelling on everything rushing round my head.

Is anything niggling at you? Particular task, project at work, house related stuff?

Although if it's the headaches coming first, if that makes sense, then maybe seeing your GP?

Sorry for the barrage of questions!

I get this type of headache (in one side of my head) when under stress. I had a good career which I had to give up because even though I enjoyed the work, I couldn't cope with the stress of juggling work and home after I had dc2 so I understand where you are coming from. Have you tried Calms tablets from places like Holland & Barratt or Boots? My mum swears by them. Otherwise I would go and have a chat with GP.

I second the advice to maybe see your gp, try some relaxation techniques etc

It sounds as though you've made a smooth transition back to work, with arrangements securely in place and your children fine... So maybe this is about you adjusting to your new routine rather than anything deeper. I wouldn't be tempted to put it down to the job and to start feeling you cant cope, and you certainly shouldn't let the PIL guilt trip you into feeling you cant cope with a 4 day working week. Thats very undermining of them. I expect before long you'll be fine. You were out of the workplace quite a long time; this is a natural period of adjustment but it sounds like you're coping fine

I have had periods of insomnia as well alaskahq, and i really feel for you. it makes life much more difficult. I tried everything, and a couple of sessions of hypnotherapy actually worked for me me as well as completely cutting caffeine and alchohol :(
Good luck, I hope your GP helps you out with this.

Can you PIL help out with some of through ups when your DH is away?

Do you have much time for you?

What about doing some exercise? When I have bouts of insomnia or if I am finding work stressful I feel better after exercise or a yoga class and sleep better too.