Dont know what to do!

[vanillaskinnylatte]

Hi folks, Im new to MN so please be gentle with me!

Sorry for long post but Im just so unsure of what to do about going back to work.

I have been working at my place for 6years, love the place but the money could be better. Every year I have been in the top rating in terms of performance and have more or less worked my way up, getting better roles/more responsibility etc. I was up for promotion but then found out I was pregnant. My boss at the time said he was going to support my promotion but as soon as I went on mat leave he went behind my back and told HR that he would not support my promotion due to the pressure of pregnancy and my lack of organisational skills. I know he said this as I saw the email response (as I have access to his inbox and was checking it for something else relating to a client).

I was of course very upset and so started my mat leave feeling rather hard done by. I know the organisational issues he mentioned is complete rubbish as I have every year got amazing reviews and I know Im good at my job. After 6 years Im sure they would have picked up on my supposed lack of organisational skills a bit sooner than that!

Anyway, I am due to go back to work and work for the same man mid November. He has himself been promoted to a really high level role but I just dont want to work for him now. I wont be able to look him in the face and Im just so angry with him! Plus I worked so hard for 6 years and to not get my promotion has really upset me. He has stopped my career in my eyes.

So I have been looking for a job but nothing just yet....so here is my question....do I say Im going back and if another job comes up before I have to go in mid Nov I just very quickly resign (although I might have to work some notice which could be odd!) or do I just resign now & make a clean break, really focus on finding a better job and perhaps temp to make ends meet if I need to in the interim???

What would you do?

I would go back in the meantime & keep looking for a job. The market is not good out there and even though it's not right, returning to the work force in a new job, as a new mum, makes it even more difficult.

I would also face up to him and ask him why he said that.

I think its much easier to find a job when you already have one so I think I would go back. Hold your head high and use this as the incentive you needed to find a better job which may pay you what you deserve. If you just leave you could end up with a hole in your cv which could be difficult to explain.

Yeah I guess it would be harder to explain the gap on my CV. I dont want to appear like my career isnt important to me but its just that I dont even want to see my boss. I feel like just punching his lights out to be honest! But I will return, hold my head high like you say. I can then keep looking for a new job whilst keeping my job security. Market isnt great but hopefully it wont take me too long to find that perfect role....thanks guys x

If you liked you job before this one incident, why not try to prove him wrong? Stick at the job, show him you have got the skills and get the promotion you deserve.

Presumably he doesn't know you saw the email? So you can ask, on your first day back, "what about that promotion, what do I need to do to get it?"
See what his response is and take it from there.

Look for a job start now, if the right opportunity doesn't present itself return to your old-time job until one does. File a complaint?

Can't you negotiate for the promotion still? and more money!
The men who worked for me (when I was working) were always banging on about how good they were and how they needed more money/promotion. The women never asked.
Get it out of them and then find another job and quit. Try and quit on a high instead of a low. You'll feel much better for it and get a better deal wherever you go next too.

Well yes I liked the job but I think I can probably earn more elsewhere anyway. Im really gutted about the promotion & he does know Ive seen the email, Im sure of it. When I had my son he sent something to the house but I didnt get it. He seemed to think that I had sent it away as I didnt want to accept his gift! So that makes me think he knows Ive seen the email. Of course I didnt turn his gift away though...Im not so stupid that I would burn all my bridges!

I think best thing to do is just return and carry on as normal...but keep looking for something else. I just dont feel appreciated there anymore and I feel that through no fault of my own I have been held back.

Im sure I could complain as he probably is being a bit funny, citing my pregnancy as a reason for non-promotion. However, I dont want to do that as I just feel at this stage it would be better for me to move on and do well elsewhere.