How do you cope with feeling like a fraud?

[sanecatlady]

How do you cope with feeling like a fraud at work? I have worked in the same organisation for several years and have worked my way up being promoted to a reasonably senior level.

I am pretty convinced that the only reason I'm still in the job is that no-one has found out just how incompetent I am or that I will prove to be incompetent at the next project I am involved in or that I will make a really bad mistake some day soon. I am also convinced that my team merely tolerate me and would like to have a different manager who is more... well more something or at least not me.

Work is pretty stressful too with continual reorganisations and demands with barely adequate resources. I do try my best but it never seems enough and then I come home and it's much the same there, too.

I sometimes think I should resign before something bad happens and I'm found out. I recently had an interview for a side-ways move but didn't get the job as I think they could see what I am really like whereas in my current role they are stuck with me until I do something wrong. I can't see a solution to any of this.

I wonder if Ricky's dance is still funny now that he's slim (and looking slightly more attractive as he ages)?

Ah sanecatlady, the more flamboyant the better methinks!

I believe it would be MissPiggy.

Thanks for the helpful replies everyone, I do feel a bit cheerier now and not so alone with my anxieties. and, of course,

Yes Busters I'm with you on that, flamboyant is the way to go!

I too believe in imposter syndrome, my hubby has it big time, dispite the fact he has worked for the same company for 13 years and not excaped redundacy on 4 occations, someone has always phoned and he is back in work, on all occations on more money, last time he was made redundant was in Dec 2010, back in the same company by Feb 2011, in a different continent but always for the same group he must be doing something right? just the company is f'd up :) that they do this so regularly?
I suffer the oppisit I have always felt I should be in a higher grade and that is since I was 19...as in delusions of grandure, but I still argue I should have got the supervisors job at 19, as they asked me to train him, if I could train I was capable of the job? I am 41 an finally in a job that uses my abilities and looks like I could progress it, I am the boss, but, I have a boss who is a scary monster in a nice way, as in she isn't horrible but I would not cross her, she is very like me..I hope? as in I am happy whilst work goes on, you need to leave early, fine if everything is covered but don't take the piss, my staff don't and actually a year into the job, I am bullying them into taking time back when they work over their hours, which they do regularily....sorry just realised I am hijacking this with my own thoughts ...
just start to enjoy your job and if you can help others, do it :) if you have these feelings your are most probably good at it, I fear more for me and yet i don't because I am a ignorent twit, and will float on in my bubble :)

Glad everyone else has said it already - impostor syndrome is quite common.
I suffered from it too, was just waiting to be caught out, especially when I started lecturing! I finally settled down a bit when I got some good feedback from students in my class; but a couple of years later, bad feedback set me back a bit (despite having a lot of good feedback, it's amazing how a couple of bad things linger in the mind more than the 100 or so good ones!)

I actually found that the thing that helped me most was training in NLP (neurolinguistic programming) - it stopped a lot of the self doubt and made me realise that I didn't need external validation all the time. It's probably a bit extreme, but if you're really worried about it you could try seeing an NLP-trained life coach - it really can help!