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Original poster

Bored of maternity leave, can't wait to go back to work

21 replies

Maia290 · 08/10/2011 23:40

DS is now 4 months old, and already bored of being on maternity leave. I really like my job, and I'm always looking to progress in my career and take new challenges, so I am feeling really stuck with baby, we are doing alll sort of classes and stuff but it is not as stimulating as working. I will go back to work in 5 months. Does anybody else feel the same? and how are you managing?

OP posts:

BuckminsterFullerene · 08/10/2011 23:57

I did, and went back to work when DS was 5 months.

However, this coincided with him reaching a more interactive stage and he's become far more interesting to be around. Now with weaning, (he's just over 6 months now) I could easily spend my day working out what to feed him and how to make it BLW compatible!

So, what I'm saying is that being at home might actually get better for you, so don't lose faith yet.

lilham · 09/10/2011 10:04

Me too. I knew I would be bored so I never planned to take the full year. Now I'm going back in a month, I'm really worried because she isn't on much solids and is a bottle refuser .

Champagnevanity · 09/10/2011 10:05

Me too. Oh my days, i was fed up of maternity leave from day one. Baby is now 2 weeks old tomorrow, i've had about 5 weeks off altogether.

Staying sane, by making myself lots of to do lists, trying to invent stuff for me to do. aha!

Too scared to go out the house on my own with baby, apart from round the block, ect, so am going stair-crazy in the house!

IvyAndGold · 09/10/2011 10:07

Me too. Though I had to leave my job as DP got a new job 200miles away so I have no job to go back to. Have been applying for jobs for about seven months now :( Love all my time with DD, but I so miss the working environment, and not having to talk about Peppa Pig in a sing-song voice!

lilham · 09/10/2011 10:10

Champagnevanity, you will be able to get out of the house soon! I think I went to my first baby group at 3mo. Now at 6mo I have something to go to everyday but it's still boring. Like the OP says, they aren't very stimulating at all.

lilham · 09/10/2011 10:11

I mean 3wks to first baby group!

mousesma · 09/10/2011 10:13

I also find small babies a bit dull but like other posters have said they do get a lot more fun at round 6 months when they start moving about and getting a bit more independent. Hopefully you will find this too and your last few months of maternity leave won't drag so much.

moomaa · 09/10/2011 10:17

If that is how you feel then see if you can bring forward chilcare and return to work early, I think you only need to give a month's notice.

If you intend to see it out then pack your days with things you like doing, a four month old is very portable: visit museums, art galleries, friends, distant friends, go youth hostelling, runs with the buggy, the seaside, some distance learning, research your family tree, the possibilities are endless, when else do you get this time off work?

Jules125 · 09/10/2011 17:52

I felt very much like that in the early months - maybe up to 5-6 months, but I don't now (DD now 10 months). My friends didn't think I'd last more than 4 months on leave because I was so "non-maternal" and career focussed.

But things can change and I'm really enjoying the time with DD much more now that she's older and so interactive, starting to walk and just really good fun generally (and so so pleased to be with me all the time! - no-one has ever wanted me so much!)

I'm now more worried about going back to work and leaving her - which I've delayed several times and now going back when she's 13 months. Although it took a while I've really adapted to a different life and being at home. Still not sure I'd want to do it forever though (and in any case we need the money). But now I see that one year out of my career is actually not so very long ... and I think its been so good for me and DD.

In short - do go back to work early if you continue to feel as you do, but don't rush that decision, you might find your feelings start to change as time goes on.

springboksaplenty · 09/10/2011 17:58

Yip. I lasted till six months. Just not me. I love my ds to absolute bits but I needed my work, not just for the type of challenges it gives me but because I could be me, independent and a proper decision maker. It also didn't help that I am not very sociable so found baby groups quite difficult. Love the balance I have now of going to work and seeing my little one.

mrsbaldwin · 11/10/2011 16:45

You could go back to work earlier than planned (if your work is agreeable, you can find suitable childcare etc).

Don't think you're obliged to stay at home just because other people around you are. Some people want to stay at home with their baby, yes, but IME quite a lot of people don't really love their jobs, so take as much time off as they can - it's not just about the baby IYSWIM.

Personally - and I've written this here before - I thought maternity leave was pretty much an over-rated concept. If I have a number 2 I wouldn't bother past the immediate recovery time.

All that said, its very tiring waking up in the night as well as going to work and you could be doing that for a long time yet, sorry to say (the waking up in the night, I mean).

One thought is you could do a staggered return eg suggest to your work you'll go back earlier than planned but for a 2-3 day week or somesuch initially? That way you could do a couple of baby groups etc for a while longer to help build your friendships with other nearby mums.

Take it from me the baby itself won't give a flying stuff if it goes to baby yoga or not :)

whiteoleander · 11/10/2011 20:32

if you are too scared to go out of the house with your baby you need a bit of help, not to rush back to work to be honest.

sanam2010 · 13/10/2011 21:28

Maia, if you feel that way can you not go back already? Why do you take a longer leave if you feel you would be happy going back to work? Agree with others it gets more fun later, but of course that makes it much harder to go back later as well!! I felt like it would be fine to go back after 4 months, but then when i went back at 7 months it was actually incredibly difficult, esp for DD as by then she was much more attached. I'm all for staying at home and spending lots of time with the baby, but if you're happy to go back, that's an option, right?

Nevercan · 14/10/2011 20:28

You could try doing some volunteering such as your local NCT. You can do the work from home when you can and it still makes you involved in a job and have interaction with other adults. It helped me with not being at work but wanting to feel part of something else

dikkertjedap · 16/10/2011 00:43

I just don't understand why you want a child when you feel your career is so important. How sad for your child that you find it boring to be with him/her.

scottishmummy · 16/10/2011 00:59

so maintain work contacts,meet for lunch if you can
keep on top of reading,cpd etc. get ready to hit groud running when you go back

fulllife · 03/01/2012 19:25

maia you are so normal. i was supposed to take six m mat leave but happened onto a great nanny at four and a half and jumped at the chance to go back- and i dont even like my job that much!
best thing i ever did- while i was on mat leave i was almost solely responsible for my baby girl, and could not take my eyes off her one second (still cant to be honest), it was all about baby 24-7 and very exhausting. now, i have an hour and a half of her prime time in the morning, then nanny comes which she loves while i go off for 7 hrs, in afternoons i come back full of energy for her(its like a second day), and on top of it all, my DH is doing every other night now. purr-fect! im ready for my second one now....

fulllife · 03/01/2012 19:30

dikkert: you know evolution has gotten us way past the stage where all we ever want is to reproduce the species, don't you? lets acknowledge that there is much more to life than children, at least for most of us. i feel sorry for children that are their mothers whole world...

OneLittleBabyGirl · 04/01/2012 12:54

What fulllife says. I love my DD dearly but she's not the entirety of my life. I'm glad we live in a society where most people think women can have an identity besides wife and mum.

Hgirl1974 · 10/01/2012 15:46

Maia - really admire your honesty. I think anyone who claims that being at home with a small baby is endlessly interesting is probably exaggerating, but a lot of parents seem reluctant to admit that actually, it can be pretty dull at times.

Like you, I found being at home full-time on maternity leave quite challenging, but as others have said, don't cut your leave too short or wish it away. Even if you are committed to your career, it's a unique opportunity to recover from birth and then spend time getting to grips with the practicalities of baby care and the personality of your little one, so that you can get yourself and them into the best possible shape to deal with you returning to work.

You're doing the right thing in getting out to classes and groups and you'll find that as your friendships with other mums develop, the conversation will stray onto topics other than babies! Maybe also try to do things that you will find stimulating - others have already made good suggestions, but I found that just having Radio 4 on in the house whilst I was at home made me feel a bit more in touch with the outside world. Seeing work colleagues and friends without babies also helped because they had only a very limited interest in the baby and therefore it pretty much forced me to find other topics to talk about.

I'm delighted to be back at work - as soon as I set foot back in the office, I felt like I had back a piece of my life that I was really missing - but I wouldn't have missed my maternity leave for anything and looking back on it, it seemed to have flown past. You probably won't have this much time off work very often (unless you're planning on having another ten kids!) so enjoy it for now.

Zorra · 19/01/2012 20:02

I did an MSc with Open University when I wa at home with DS. I found I didn't want to give up staying at home with him but I also couldn't bear missing out on intellectual stimulation and the feeling that my career was going down the plughole. It was tiring, but it meant that I didn't really have to choose one over the other. Maybe if you add something to your life at home you might feel the balance is better?

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