Struggling in a job I am massively overqualified for :(

[MeantToStopAtTwo]

To cut a long story short, I left my job in finance this summer after 15 years. The politics there had turned nasty and it seemed like a good time to downshift and spend more time with the children. I ummed and ahhed over whether to do a maths PGCE. It was late in the day to apply though and, with zero classroom experience, I decided as an interim step to take a job as a teaching assistant in a primary school for the year. I rather liked the idea of having little responsibility, very reasonable hours, and no take-home work so that I could focus on my little ones whilst they are still young.

Yet ironically, two weeks in (although only one with the children back), I am absolutely bloody HATING it! Despite being massively overqualified and having taken a substantial pay-cut, I feel like I am frankly crap at it. I am OK at interacting with the children but dreadful at the practical, organisational aspects. I have done so many stupid things this week, e.g. piling-up artwork before the glue had dried properly so that it all got stuck together and had to be thrown out (I could have cried). My first attempt at a display board was an utter joke (not that anybody found it remotely funny, mind you) and it took me at least three times as long as it should have done to get the backing paper to the correct size. Then, when asked to cut circles out of paper, I began cutting them one by one, rather than folding the paper to make several at a time like anybody with half a brain would do. All this from somebody with a natural sciences degree from Cambridge! It wouldn't surprise me if they start making enquiries this week to check that my CV isn't a work of fiction. I should be shot really, shouldn't I?

Perhaps, not having had a new job for so long, I've forgotten what a steep learning curve it is even when the job is fairly low level? I know there are different types of intelligence. Perhaps practical intelligence just isn't my thing and I should go back to something more theoretical? Or perhaps I should ask my GP about a neurological assessment because I truly do find this level of stupidity quite disturbing?

Any thoughts welcome.

I don't mean to sound dramatic/arrogant or like a martyr/quitter but I do truly feel as if the best thing to do here is bow out gracefully. I am genuinely not capable of pulling my weight and am just going to end up letting the side down and disadvantaging the poor NQT whom I do greatly feel for, not to mention the children. I could, as many of you have suggested, do a TA course but it seems unlikely it would get me up to speed in time, plus it is the practical aspects I am struggling with (e.g. making up glue to the right consistency) which is not really what these courses focus on. I'm also starting to realise that I'm lacking in commonsense to a quite disturbing degree and I'm not sure that that's something which can be taught.

My contract states that the first half-term is a trial period during which either side need only give a week's notice (after that it increases to a term). That trial period is obviously there for good reason and I'm taking it as a sign that it would be best to leave sooner rather than later. Fingers crossed that they will be able to find somebody better suited to the position who can start immediately so there is minimal disruption.

Thank you all for your support and honesty.

Listen, you just sound like you're out of your comfort zone. Any change in job is unnerving and going into a completely new field is even harder.

Mixing glue will come with practice as will everything else and once you have the knack you will be fine.

Stick it out. At least give it another week and then reassess. The start of term is always fraught and you will find things slipping into place.

Any chance you can stump up the chance to see a coach or counsellor who can help you work on your confidence issues? There are far more important skills for a TA than mixing glue and displays, it is really a matter of identifying your transferable skills. I bet you have lots. Already, from this thread, I can see that you write well. This crisis of confidence will probably help you identify with children who are struggling with new things. You've presumably got management skills, and you'll be able to use these once you've found your feet. Don't give up yet!

Totally agree with Doug, you are just out of your comfort zone. It will look so, so bad if you quit after just two weeks, and two weeks is not long enough to know if you are up to the job or able to enjoy it. Trust me, the things you've mentioned like mixing glue and cutting up backing paper are minor aspects of the job. Being able to do stuff like answering the kids' questions is so much more important.

Getting talked down to is an occupational hazard for teaching assistants. (If you're not a graduate fresh out of uni most teachers assume you're there coz you're not able to do anything else). You don't have to take it and I would speak to the teacher.

Listen.

I started my first care job in 1999 aged 19. I was so dithery and bad at it that I got shunted rapidly onto nights, and was constantly told I was rubbish.

By 25, I had worked in four different homes and been promoted. The only change in me was experience. I'm now 31 and not working but I am a very good carer. ALl you need is experience which you aren't going to get whilst quitting.

You've had a crisis of confidence for several reasons - the first being that you thought (and still do think, if you are honest) that it's an easy job, that you nevertheless inexplicably can't do properly. let go of that thought, because you may be struggling with it, but it isn't an easy job at all.

Second, you've gone into it thinking you have loads of experience because you have a degree. And you're shocked to find that you are unable to keep up, despite doing a job that you don't even need GCSE's for. Newsflash - you don'ty have a degree in this subject. I left school at 16 and have worked in care most of my life, and I am still more qualified and experienced with your job than you are, and I KNOW I would struggle so no wonder you are finding it hard.

You've been given a very rough deal with the NQT - the head should never have paired you two up together, it's grossly unfair. A teacher that's never taugnht before, and a TA who has no experience - of course you're struggling, the NQT is probably struggling too. But if you leave she's going to struggle even more. Shemight get someone who is worse at the job than you are. At least you're good with the children.

I think you need to stick at it OP. It sounds as though maybe the NQT is threatened by your age/obvious intellect.

How will your DC feel if mummy quits after two weeks because she can't get the glue right? Don't they need to see you make a go of this too?

Agree with colditz. You're not overqualified for the job, never mind massively overqualified. You have no teaching experience. That is why it is a steep learning curve.

The main concern I have is around the issue that if you don't understand your own learning curve how on earth can you understand that of a child's development needs?

Agree with colditz, it's weird they've put two new people together.

I hope you're not in there today giving in your notice. I think you'll feel much better about yourself if you give it til Christmas. 2 weeks is nothing - you're not giving yourself, the job or the teacher a chance.

BTW, have you done other jobs? I'm a Cambridge law graduate - I'm good at law! But also I know I'm an average waitress, a really good chamber maid, loved working with children with SNs, and so on and so on. I'm sure now you won't make the mistake that being a good Natsci makes you a good [insert anything else]. Take that away with you at least - everyone deserves respect for being good at what they do. Not getting at you particularly - I wish people more generally would "get" this!

what do you want to do op?

if you want to leave that fine.

if you want to carry on, chinup, it will get easier.
try an talk the NQT shes probably feeling in over her depth too.

Well I'd have thought the most important part of the job is interacting with the kids so if you're OK at that then its a good start! I think the more practical bits will come with expereince. Most people hate new jobs for the first couple of months while they settle in and learn new skills. Stick with it.

Stick at it OP!

You have only been there 2 minutes and you are LEARNING.

The school have given you no training or support and you have no training or experience as a TA - no wonder you are struggling with some of the practical stuff. But you are learning and that's good.

On a positive note, you seem to have a good relationship with the kids which is a great start and I'd MUCH rather my son's TA could interact well the kids than mix glue!

Why not give it till half term or Xmas till you decide whether to resign or not?

Agree you need to start communicating and working as a team with the NQT and any experienced TAs.

PS I started a new job recently for which I AM qualified and experienced and I was rubbish for the first few weeks too! Every workplace comes with it's own ways of doing things and it takes a while to learn how things work.

Sticky -- haven't heard anyone say Natsci for years! Ah, the nostalgia...

OP, if you interact calmly and well wit the children, I think you're doing the more important part of the job just fine.

Common sense, it has to be said, wasn't the most noticeable feature of most Natscis (would wonder whether we know each other, but I suspect you're younger) and many of them will have gone on to run chemical industries and nuclear facilities. Be very afraid!

Lancelottis - it is a bit scary, isn't it - and think of all those crazy medics!

I really struggled with driving when I started. It is harder when you've been a good at classes, good at sport sort of person, then suddenly something's hard... but it does make you stronger overall. And I'm pretty good at driving now too (no crashes or tickets 12 years down the road ain't bad )

OP: I hope you see, it just needs to be worked at.

Dear MeantToStop - don't stop! Give it a bit longer.

I am an experienced primary teacher and have worked with many TAs. I was also a TA for two terms before beginning a PGCE, many moons ago... During that time I made a few mistakes, but most importantly absorbed a sense of the school environment. It doesn't necessarily give you a clear idea of what teaching involves - unfortunately you can only really find that out once you are up at the front of the class; planning and delivering the curriculum - but it will help your application if you want to do a PGCE.

My tips:

1. Try to anticipate: What is going to happen next in the classroom? Is the bell about to go? Do the children need to line up/sit down/be at their desks? Do certain resources need to be put out/put away?

2. Be accurate: I would always rather a TA clarify with me exactly why I want X stuck on Y in some strange way, than do it differently because he/she thinks that is what I want.

3. Accept that you are at the beginning again. I had quite a high-flying graduate job before re-training as a teacher - it made no difference and frankly nobody would have been interested.

4. Actively support in the classroom. Avoid ever 'sitting and watching'. If the teacher is talking to the whole class, spot a job that needs doing. If a couple of children begin messing around, quietly go over and stand near them or have a word in their ear. Teachers appreciate it if you do this without breaking up the flow of the lesson.

5. Attend staff meetings and be aware of what is coming up. If the headteacher mentions that Such and Such special day is happening and each class needs to do a craft, have a stall, do a performance - begin thinking and chatting to the teacher about what that might entail.

Best wishes.

Deffo stickw itht it OP. When my dc started primary school, i was a bit concerned as to how i was gping to help them with crafts homework, because despite the fact that i am quite academic(no problems with maths and English) i am useless at anything practical. However, with practice, i have improved and i am nearly an expert on making houses out of cardboard.
I do think that you have to watch your attitude though as you may come across as being a bit arrogant, though i don't believe that this is your intention.
I do commend you for stepping outside your comfort zone.

Thank you all for your kind words of support.

The situation has actually changed a little. I've now spoken to one of the other TAs who says that this NQT has a reputation for being very tricky to work with. She did her main placement at the school last year and the TA she worked with ended up feeling a similar way to me and has since moved on. This is why the job was still being advertised well into the summer holidays. Nobody who knew what this girl was like wanted to be her co-worker.

This TA has also briefly spent time in our classroom and thinks that the way in which I am spoken to by the NQT is not acceptable. She said she'd heard me asking a perfectly reasonable question and thought it awful how the NQT snapped back at me to, 'Just use your commonsense!' It is also apparently not acceptable for her to have complained about the amount of time spent out of the classroom with a child having a poo problem and management would absolutely back that up.

I still don't know how on earth I'm going to handle this but bedtime duties call right now...

"Just use your commonsense!"?!

She sounds lovely! Does she speak to the children like that? Is she younger than you?

I think you need to pull her to one side and set some ground rules. She may be the teacher but it doesn't mean that she should be speaking to you like that. She doesn't sound particularly professional.

I think it is quite common for people to assume lower pay & status means lower stress, but this is quite often not the case.
A study was done on stress levels in work (sorry can't remember refs) which found that the CO/boss usually had less stress than the lowly staff. The reason being stress increases with lack of control and the boss has the control.

it's not on that she speaks to you like that. Especially if it is done infront of the pupils.
I think age is irrelevant, it doesn't matter if she is younger than you, she is trained for the job which needs to be respected, but she also needs to earn that respect and treat you in a way that is fair and professional.
If you feel uncomfortable speaking to her directly, go to your head of department and discuss it with them.

FWIW, I was sent to cover in a different class today and was completely useless!

I've always considered it inappropriate that NQTs, often fresh out of university and in their first job, are expected to direct TA work. My impression of other new graduates is that they are spectacularly unqualified to do so, and even the most talented would struggle.

You've worked before, and have managed people. What you now need to do is manage your manager - and I'm sure you've done that before.

Have found this thread really interesting coz like you OP I?m degree-educated but not practical and like colditz I work in care. I started my job, as a Healthcare Assistant in a hospital, 9 months ago and have found it quite difficult, something I?ve barely dared to admit to myself until reading this thread. Dithery is exactly what I am a lot of the time. I somehow manage to be one step behind other people.

Like this one time when me and the ward sister were hoisting a patient into bed. She asked me to hold his head, which I did, then tried to slide the hoist over the bed whilst at the same time lifting his legs up onto it. Before I knew was happening, it felt like, she was snapping at me something like ?Bloody help me, I can?t do it all by myself?. It felt really unfair, like she was expecting me to read her mind and know she was struggling. I see now the problem was my lack of familiarity with the hoisting process and also my self-consciousness coz I was working with the big boss.

Like in colditz?s case people imply that I?m crap all the time ? tutting, rolling their eyes, double-checking my work etc. I hate it coz I?m fine when I?m not being rushed, when I?m not under pressure. And I know I?m good at a lot of aspects of my job ? preserving patient dignity, for example. If I?m about to change a patient?s incontinence pad I always tell them what I?m going to do, even if they?re in a coma, unlike some other members of staff who just unceremoniously yank their pants down. And infection control. If I clean a bed I clean it properly, I don?t just rub my cloth over it once in a zig-zag motion (yes, saw a HCA do that once).

It?s made me decide not to pursue nursing as a career. I think that given time I will be a good HCA in anybody?s eyes and given even more time I would be a good nurse, but there are so many more practical skills you need as a nurse, it would take me ages to get up to scratch and I doubt I would supported along the way. Nurses? hours are terribly family-unfriendly anyway. I?ve no plans to leave my job because after just 9 months I?ve not been in it long enough but at some point I would like to switch to an admin job, which I think would come more naturally to me.

But OP my situation is different to yours in that I?ve been in my job 9 months; you?ve only been in yours 2 weeks and still finding your feet. At the minute you?re finding your teaching colleague difficult but you might be able to turn that around. And also ultimately you want to be a teacher, which requires intellectual, creative and interpersonal skills rather than practical. One day you?ll have your own teaching assistant to make your glue (and you?ll be able to shout at her for not getting the consistency right. Joking!).

When I was in my final year of uni and struggling with my dissertation I was referred to the educational psychologist who did some tests and discovered I?m dyspraxic. These included a detailed IQ test that showed I have a high verbal reasoning IQ (enough to join Mensa) but a quite considerably below average information processing ability. I can get there ? I?m just slow! OP I?m not saying you have an undiagnosed learning difficulty but it?s a possibility and you may find an assessment like that useful in helping you to identify your strengths and weaknesses if nothing else.

As others say, don't beat yourself up for finding it hard to learn the tricks of the trade when you don't yet know the trade.
Stop feeling sorry for the teacher. You both are a team and should be supporting each other, not just one way. Having said that, don't feel so sorry for yourself that you give up. Being good with the kids is very important and a skill less easily learnt than cutting out shapes and organising paperwork. If the teacher wants to give herself more work by cutting out circles because yours weren't perfect, let her! Go and do something else useful around the class as I'm sure you are capable of it.

I have a masters degree and 10 years experience at a senior level in a completely unrelated field, yet I found my year's stint as a TA (in a secondary school) one of the hardest jobs i have ever done. It is full on and you have to be constantly alert and able to give, give, give, not only to the children you are supporting but to the teaching staff. It is a fabulously rewarding job once you get the hang of it, though (it took me about 4 months to learn the ropes and start gaining confidence). It is also, without a doubt, the BEST way to get a real feel for whether or not teaching is the right career for you. Nothing beats it. I actually believe it should be compulsory for anyone wanting to become a teacher to work as a TA for a few months.

On another note, if you want to do a maths PGCE, why are you working in a primary school? Subject specific PGCEs are more relevant for secondary school teaching, i would have thought.

Lastly, I believe that all the organisational stuff can be learned. Once you know the school and the way the teacher/s work, it will become like child's play (forgive the pun). But you have to know where everything goes and how different staff like things set up and what level of presence they expect from you in class before you can really relax and enjoy a TA role. The thing you can't really learn is how to build a rapport with the kids, and it seems you already have that sorted, so try to look at the positives - about yourself and the job - and give it a proper chance before you give up.

Good luck.

Forgot to say -

You have to be very careful to separate out clearly in your mind what you find unacceptable behaviour from the NQT and what is just the nature of the hierarchy. TAs are there to support the teacher, not just the kids. It can be a thankless task and the hierarchy in most schools is subtle but quite inpentrable. You are officially the bottom of the pile. The lack of status takes a bit of getting used to, but I'm telling you - a good TA is worth their weight in gold and once you prove yourself (which I'm sure you will, but these tings take time) you will become almost indispensable if the school know what's what.