Since going back to work a year ago part-time, I have deliberately not spoken too openly about my DTS for fear of being viewed as mumsy, dull or as someone who has nothing else to talk about. However, I do believe now that is wrong stance to take.
I work for a R&D organisation and my group comprises mainly engineers who happen to be mainly men. Where I sit, I'm the only female amongst 7 men and do you know what they mainly talk about? Football! Now, why is it seen as acceptable that a topic like football is OK to discuss but why do I get the impression that if you want to say something about what your child did, then you are viewed as mumsy or have nothing else to talk about. One of the older guys last week, was telling me about his 15 year old who is doing well at school and he was justifiably proud of her. So I told him something about what the twins had done and he was genuinely interested. I must admit that he and one other are the only ones who are married so maybe that has something to do with it.
I do talk to them about other things but I am reluctant to say too much about my children. I do pin up all their artwork around my work area but nobody has really commented on it. Interestingly, when fellow women engineers/scientisit walk by, they do comment on the colourful display so maybe women and men are wired differently to such things.
It is not always justified to label someone has dull because others perceives that all they talk about is their family. Usually people talk about what they have in common and then as they get to know each other, they move on to different topics, like football etc. I just wish that I did not feel this unseen pressure to downplay the two joys in my life because they are an important part of me. However, just because I talk about them does not mean I have nothing else to say! I think lazy journalist are guilty of perpetuating this myth (Lowri Turner). I run and work out in the gym, I was a DJ at university, I'm learning German and Spanish, I have a brown belt in Kung Fu, I can make my own clothes, I have acted on stage (amateur),I knit and crochet, I read a wide variety of books, I follow Birmingham City and I love Star Trek. I just happen to believe that my babies are more important than all of that!