I've just gone back to work full time - this was the first week - and my 9.5 month DS is going to a childminder for 38 hours per week. Work have been really good and are allowing me to work from home two days per week, meaning that my DS only actually does 2 full days at the childminder and i condense my hours on the days i work from home, collected DS at lunch, giving him lunch and then putting him down for his afternoon nap while i get on with some more work. It's bloody hectic and hard work and this week i've been asleep on the sofa by 9.30 most evenings, but i want it to work because i feel it gives me the best of both worlds. My DH has applied for flexible working (condensed hours) too, so he collects my DS at 2pm on Mondays. He's as supportive as he possibly can be, making sandwiches, preparing bottles of milk, preparing dinner etc so i get to spend time with my DS in the evenings.
My problem is that i feel completely unsupported by my family, all of whom live close by. When i was pregnant i asked my mum if she and dad could perhaps commit to looking after my DS in our home for one afternoon per week when i'm working from hime (in case he doesn't nap well, is unsettled, ill or whatever). She said she couldn't say they'd do it regularly because 'they often like to go out for lunch or out for the day etc'.
This week they all knew it was going to be hard for me and i had some lovely texts from them but no practical help at all. My sister (she has a 2 yo DD) said she'd probably come over on Wednesday to help me out and spend some time with her nephew. Wednesday came, no sign of my sister. I asked her last night if she could look after him next Thursday because the childminder is on holiday and my DH, who had booked time off work, was no longer able to take the time off because he's snowed under. "Oh, i'm so sorry - sod's law the only time you ask for my help and we're going away for a long weekend".
I just called my other sister to ask her if she could have him next Saturday because DH is going to photograph a wedding to get some more money in but has asked for my help because he's nervous it's his first one. "Oh, i'm really sorry - sod's law it's the only time you've asked for my help and i have a hair appointment". I don't expect people to stop living their lives and i know our DS is our responsibility. But in almost 10 months we have never asked for help. We love spending time with him and try to arrange our lives so we can do so as much as possible. I suppose i just expected a bit more from my own family who i have always bent over backwards for.
Am i wrong/ selfish to feel this way? It's been a hard week and i feel like the only support i can rely on is myself and my DH.