question for academics about starting a family

[kalidasa]

I'm a new poster hoping that a post late on a Friday night might still get a couple of replies! I'm a lecturer at a big Russell Group uni, in a humanities subject, just finishing my first year in this job (my first permanent lectureship, though I had a research fellowship and a temporary lectureship before that). I'm 31. Basically, my boyfriend and I have just started talking a bit more specifically about the baby issue; but I am quite daunted by the fact that I just don't know any women in my field with a similar profile to me between say 30 and 40 who have successfully started a family and gone back to their academic job. But there seem to be some of you here which is a relief! Any thoughts on when's a good time (of course no time is perfect)? How do you handle maternity leave with the academic calendar? what do you do about PhD students during that time? what in retrospect do you wish you'd done career-wise before having a baby? I know this is all obvious stuff but I can't think of anyone to ask about it.

Thanks both. When I'm feeling brave I'll have a look at the other thread too.

My partner and I haven't been together that long, and we've only just started living together (a big deal for me as I love living on my own and have done so happily for years). But otoh we met at that sort of age where you decide if it's serious pretty rapidly. I'd feel a bit bad about going off on maternity leave before the end of next year, but I think if the next six months go well I'd feel ready to give it a go! Such a huge decision, but this thread has been really helpful.

I'm possibly coming in a bit late here, but have been too busy wrestling my 12mo to write!

I'm coming from a slightly different perspective, in that I started my PhD with 2 kids already, having been made redundant from a career in consultancy. I had hoped to have number 3 shortly after completing, but had to take time off early in my pregnancy when my husband was in intensive care with swine flu. I went back to it when DS3 was six months, and am due to submit in a fortnight (slight panic...)

Anyway, my supervisor has been off twice having babies in that time. I've developed a strong relationship with my other supervisor (they're sort of equal first, rather than one being a second supervisor) and the one on maternity leave has come back in for meetings when she's been able to.

I'm currently submitting for post doc, and hope to be able to work 0.4 FTE, but over 3 days so I can fit in with my older boys school time.

In common with many working mums, I possibly don't spend as much time at my desk as other colleagues, but my goodness am I focussed when I do. I tend to plan papers etc on the swings in the park, or while pram pushing.

Don't leave it too late to have babies. If you're motivated, when you get back to work you'll catch up. At this rate none of us will be retiring until we're 75 anyway.

Kalidasa - just to say - if you and your partner havn't been together that long and I think you said you are buying a house maybe give it another year or so as that is a lot of stuff in a short period of time!! and that time of having 2 full time incomes, buying a house together was a really special time for me and my DH -we did some great trips, enjoyed friends etc, and had a nice lot of spare cash - so I wouldn't rush onto the next stage
and especially if you have no reason to think you have fertility issues 31 to 33 isn't catatrophic

Strictly speaking he is buying the house! So it's not quite such a big commitment as it sounds. We're definitely not rushing into starting a family, but we've reached that stage where we've both established that it's something we'd like in the next few years, so I've been beginning to think about how it will work with our careers and what timing would be good. I definitely don't feel too pressured about it as my friends are still pretty evenly divided between those who have started having children and those who haven't yet. Thanks for all the input!