Gaps between babies - and maternity leaves

[KateAdieLovelyLady]

Hi

I wasn't sure where best to post this, but here goes. Basically, I'd be interested in hearing what you think is a reasonable amount of time back at work after maternity leave before trying for another baby. Obviously a lot of this is down to the individual (and no one knows how long it may take), and I will ultimately always prioritise family over work in something as major as this, but at the same time I don't want to take the p*ss! I'd be especially interested in hearing it from the POV of employers too.

I have a decent job, VP level in a City investment firm, and earn more than my husband, so it's in both our interests not to mess anything up. I've been back a couple of months after a 9 month maternity leave, and now work 4 days a week. I've worked there for over 5 years, so hopefully am pretty well established.

Thanks!

tbh I can't see that it makes a big difference to your company. You will be away for the same amount of time whenever you take the leave and the disruption will be similar. So unless there is a particular project that you want to see to completion then I wouldn't worry too much about this.

I don't think it is relevant what employers think or want - in an ideal world, I guess employers would not want any employee ever to get pregnant as it can be quite disruptive

Employers have to deal with whatever the individual decides to do - the decision is yours and your DH's and shouldn't be influenced by your employer

I work in the NHS which is supposedly family friendly but I have noticed that short periods between mat leave are frowned upon, not by the organisation but certainly the people within it. I think it's because cover is so poor.

Hi - I would say the same things apply for a gap as anyone else - what do you think would work best in your family - ie no way did we want a short gap - some people are happy about having one - how old you are - if you are "older" it may take longer the next time - did for me anyway -
I think the only think that is bit bad form but does happen is coming back pregnant but thats not the case for you - odds on if you started trying now it you would be back nearly a year anyway

I went back to work in November and I'll be going off on maternity leave again this September. I had a year plus annual leave off, and will leave when I'm 34 weeks so in theory could have had a bit longer at work, but unfortunately my priorities are as such more time at home is better for me. I work for the NHS and they had the money for cover last time. I think they'll be able to cover me this time too (I went back 3 days a week)

I did feel a little bad when I told them I was pregnant again, but I don't think it came as great surprise to them. For me, although I think a bigger gap would have been nice (My DS will be 2 when the new bub arrives), I'm at an age where I don't want to wait and reduce my chances of concieving / increase the change of us needing help with it (I'm 36 btw). So for me, having the family we want outweighs my career.

Unfortunately I've not been too well this time so I've taken a fair amount of time off which is much more disruptive, but they seem supportive so far.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts so far!
I definitely wouldn't wait purely for the sake of work - as I said originally, family is the priority with something as important as this.
The original plan was to leave it for another month or two and start trying then (have a couple of exciting nights out planned in next two months - a rarity post-baby! - so want to enjoy them properly). That would mean I'd be back for a full year before another maternity leave, even if we were lucky enough for things to happen quickly. Also, I had a couple of miscarriages before our first baby, so definitely not taking anything for granted...
But I was talking to another mum at the weekend about this, who went back to work at a similar stage to me, and she looked a bit horrified and said she wanted to be back at work for at least a year before considering it, so it just made me think a bit. Especially as she was a good few years older than me. I'm in my mid-30s so that's another reason not to leave it too long. For us, a small gap would be great as I'd love the children to be close growing up (no guarantees about that either, I know!). And we haven't totally ruled out the possibility of a third...
I do feel that everyone in my office expects I'll have another baby fairly soon, and that maybe I'm not getting any of the most interesting work as a result, but that may all be in my imagination.
Have come off the pill and started on the folic acid so getting there slowly...

I applied for mat leave on the day i returned to work after my first mat leave. I was 12 weeks and needed a risk assessment to work.
It made no difference to my future employment.
I was back at work for 4 and a half months before going off again.

Girl I work with ran 2 maternity leaves together. Was very easy to manage, as we just extended her maternity cover.

I also work in the city. I would say that if you are planning to head off soon again, its not fair but would be considered a bit frustrating for your employer.

Overall however, I would say it's about performance. If you want to maintain your career, they key thing is to step up now. You have at least 5 months before you would be telling them you are pregnant (2 months until you try, 3 months until you can tell even if you get pregnant immediately). Use those 5 months to demonstrate your commitment - sign up to s new project, take on new responsibilities, put in the hours etc.

I got pg 1 month after returning from 6 month mat leave, but as a 40yr old with 7 yrs in the job found people were quite understanding, though I still remember a reference to my "aggressive timetable" in my boss's send-off speech when I went off for the second time! It also helps if the arrangements to cover for you worked well first time around. What I did find, however, is that coming back after 2 mat leaves in quick succession is really tough: you have been more absent than present over the last couple of years and people have got used to you not being around. So you might want to think ahead to the way you want your career to pan out after that, and put more work than I did into maintaining contact when you are off for a second time (though if there is there anything more dispiriting than the departmental away day when you are leaking milk and knackered I have yet to find it). As a manager of serial mat leavers I never had a problem - you accept that many people in professional careers (I am a lawyer) have delayed childbirth and need to crack on once they start - and they aren't going to have 5 (unless they are Nicola Horlick).

I was back for 12 weeks before going on leave again (returned 6 months pregnant). I did feel bad but most workplaces make an unspoken assumption that women will have a 2nd child after a first so they're half-expecting it anyway.

I would agree with later mater, that coming back after 2 leaves (I had a year each time) does make you feel you've been more absent than present but I work hard, make my mark and I think I've dealt with that now. Well.... I hope so, I was back 2 years and am now on mat leave for a 3rd time!

I am currently on maternity leave, but technically I manage a woman who I have never met because of maternity leave.

She took 12 months off for her first baby, then used annual leave to bridge the gap between the end of the first maternity leave and the start of the second. By the end of the second lot of maternity leave, I was off in maternity leave. I'm looking forward to meeting her when I go back (more babies pending ...)