Will be working FT - having a wobble as new baby will be in nursery FT

[MrsArchchancellorRidcully]

I have one DD who is almost 3 and am pg with No2 due in November. I work FT and will do same after next bout of maternity leave.

DD is currently at private nursery 3 days and at MIL's 2 days a week. Perfect set up for us of 1-2-1 care and nursery care.

Thing is, MIL says she too old to look after new baby in same way. Totally respect her decision, she's been amazing with DD and they have such a close bond but it is tiring for her.
So, assuming she doesn't change her mind, this one will have to go to nursery FT. I keep worrying about it as it's a lot of time to be in nursery. He/she will go at about 10months old. The nursery DD goes to is fab and I trust them (so much so that DD will stay there till she goes to school rather than go to pre school) but I am still quite tearful that new DC will be in the system FT at such a young age.

Any reassurances from others in a similar situation please?

For us, a full-time childminder would not really suit us. Nursery is open 51 weeks a year and doesn't go on holidays at various times during the year! Nothing wrong with childminders at all but for me, i would prefer a baby to be in a well-run nursery, with more than one adult looking out for the kids. An older child may get ignored at a childminder's cos of a baby's needs and /or vice versa.

Not against cm's but for us, nursery sits better with us when they are so young. We know and trust all the staff (some have been there 20 yrs+) at nursery and it's not about the nursery itself but whether 5 days is too much - there is plenty of quiet/homely times at nursery, plus I'm hoping to come back to work FT but use holidays one a week for the first few months and work 4 days.

This will sound like a cop out but surely it depends on the individual child. Some will be happy as larry in full time nursery and some will want the certainty of one person looking after them.

So I'd say, try your DC2 in full time nursery. If they thrive, great. Just be prepared to think again in case they seem miserable.

One other idea - if you are in an area where quite a few people have nannies, you may find there is someone who wants to "share" their nanny and you could potentially do nursery 3 days and nanny/nannyshare 2 days.

(BTW Katiebeau can understand your feeling but I had a nanny as a child (live in) and was NEVER confused as to who was my mum and who was the nanny - had great fun with nanny but mummy was mummy!)

Hello Minipie - I know, my fears aren't based on any facts at all, have no rationale arguements! All the families I know with nannies are just great (one took a couple of nannies to get the right fit but otherwise no issues)!

I guess it's a bit like been scared of hospitals when you have never been.......

MrsArch - I'm from Chester too. Sadly I no longer live there.

Both mine started nursery at about 10 months, and they were fine. The nursery were great to help them settle in and no problems. DD is now moved on but DS at 3 years is still there and he is a very happy little boy! Since you know the nursery and have been happy with it, I think it can be fine, I don't see why it is 'too much' for a baby.

I have created a website to help parents in making the right choice when it comes to choosing childcare for your family,

www.mrs-nursery.com

Hope it helps:)

DS1 went to full time nursery (on site where I work so I could still BF) from 12 weeks. He is now 12 and fine (on the Gifted and Talented register at school) and we have a very good relationship. I don't think anyone would be able to tell that he was in childcare from so young. There is nothing wrong with good quality childcare.

DS2 (aged 2) has been in the same nursery from 9 months 3 or 4 days a week.

TBH, I've done everything I can not to work FT with DS2 for MYSELF rather than him (though of course I know the benefits). The time just goes so quickly and I just want to be with him as much as I can. Not that I didn't want to be with DS1, I just didn't consider it really. It is also great for DS1 that I am home more.

Working FT when DS1 was tiny did mean that financially we are very secure and we have been able to do some amazing travelling. We went to India for 3 months when DS1 was 7. This security means we are now both able to work PT which suits us well right now.