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Work or not to work dilemma

3 replies

Emmie412 · 10/05/2011 12:40

I am not entirely sure what to do... my daughter is 15 months and when I was due to go back to work, I got made redundant. I subsequently cancelled her nursery place and was very happy to stay at home for longer. She was then supposed to start in nursery for three days a week from April but our settling in days were awful - hysterical crying and sobbing. It coincided with a separation anxiety phase so once again, we delayed the whole nursery thing. Now, although I like being home with her I feel that my value as a person has declined. Problem is though that there is very few part time jobs that pay enough and are not menial and boring. If I apply for full time roles I immediately get calls back but that brings me to the next point - how can I go back to work full time and put her into nursery?? Especially when she is likely to be ill a lot. I feel torn between wanting to do something with my brain and have some value, and wanting to make sure my baby is ok. I am also concious of the fact that the longer the gap in my cv, the harder it'll get and worried that if I did work how would I cope with the household chores, cooking etc.

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MrsJamin · 10/05/2011 19:53

I haven't got any good answers! It's an eternal problem that part time jobs tend to be menial and badly paid. I'm looking at the moment but the line of work I was in is very rarely done part time- there are no pt jobs listed in the whole of the country, let alone my town! Could you find someone to jobshare with? I would love to be able to find someone- but how?! Most people I know who are in part time jobs had them before having children and negotiated down from full time - but it's tricky when you can't or you are looking for a new job. The head vs heart thing is classic- I really want to work but then feel guilty. I too have a choice but I am not great as a SAHM, I get bored too easily - which I then feel guilty about too! You can't win can you?! In the end, you have to work out your priorities - what you can compromise on, and what you can't. Have you thought of a childminder instead of a nursery if you weren't happy with that setting?

BsshBossh · 10/05/2011 20:24

What about a CM? Might be more of a cosy/family setting that your DD will settle into more easily. A CM may also be a tiny bit more flexible with regards to illnesses (ours was). Our CM follows the early years foundation stage so DD (2.11) has learned her letters and numbers, shapes and colours and now they're teaching her adding up! They've prepared her really well for pre-school and reception. They toilet trained her too Grin. She's there fulltime and has been since 8 months and she's thrived.

Emmie412 · 11/05/2011 12:04

I thought about childminders but unfortunately the one that I met in my local playgroup did not exactly inspire confidence - when asked why she had chosen childminding (and expecting the usual stuff of 'oh I love children etc' I got 'I like to spend loads of money'. Not a great line to say, especially if you are fishing for new kids to mind. The others that I found on southwark council list are either far away or are listed as 'satisfactory' so wasn't particularly keen on them.

I guess this leaves me with looking for a nanny share or trying to find a nursery we could both be happy with. Or staying at home. Oh, I don't know!

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