FT mums please give me your tips!

[Cosmosis]

DS is 7m and I have just gone back to work, I am doing 3 days at the moment but will be ft from June. I am starting to realise how what hard work it?s going to be and how organised I will have to be, so please give me your tips on how you cope.

I already have a cleaner thank god so that?s one thing I don?t have to worry about.

Also how do you cope wrt to missing your DS? Do you just get used to it? At the moment I just keep thinking he?s going to end up loving the CM more than me because he will spend more time with her.

Organise your online shopping, sign up for Amazon prime (free next day delivery, tis great for presents), and remember that no is a complete sentence. You and your dh/dp need to prioritise family time first, and then once you have everything running smoothly you can add other stuff in. Its no good (ime) having 'me' time if its driving you nuts just getting the washing done.

Sit down with dh/dp and have a serious chat about who is going to do what, when - don't forget things like cm bag packing, sorting birthdays and expectations about who is dropping off/picking up and what if that person is running late/needs to go to a meeting/is invited out for drinks. Do a meal plan so that there is no arguing about what is being cooked.

You get used to it all, and they will never love you less. Outside work, I am there for ds 100%, and he is very bonded to dh and me

Thanks CMOT, some goot ideas and reassurance :)

I work full-time, and have done since DS was 6mo. Main things I do to keep on top of everything:

Once every couple of months, I have a monster cooking session over a weekend and make about 30-40 meals worth of food, which I then freeze, and each weekend me and DP decide what the meals for the week are going to be. So the vast majority of days I don't have to cook, or even think about cooking, but still have something ready to go when I get in from picking up DS.

Don't leave everything to the weekend. First few weeks back at work I did all my laundry, major cleaning, hoovering, shopping etc etc at the weekend, with the result that weekends were often more work than work, so now I make sure I stick a few loads of laundry on during the week (if the weather is nice I stick it on overnight and hang up in the morning before I go to work, so i come home to nice dry laundry), keep on top of the general cleaning etc etc. My main thing (being a complete slattern) is making sure all the little things get done during the week, so it doesn't pile up.

One of the main things I struggled with was having time to myself - for a while after I went back I felt like I never had any time on my own, which I found really difficult, as having a bit of my own space is something I really need. DP does the shopping now with DS, so I usually get a good couple of hours on saturday morning of blissful peace.

And the main thing - don't try to be superwoman. Make sure your DP/DH does his share, and and the load is reasonably evenly distributed, otherwise resentment realy builds up (bitter experience - DP went through a phase of severely taking the piss).

It is hard, and I do miss DS. But I know he loves me (he's 2.5 and telling me all the time atm, usually accompanied by big kisses), and his nursery are fabulous with him and he loves it there.

What a great thread, some really helpful tips.

I take my ironing down the laundrette now about every three weeks.

I am even thinking about having my hair permanently straightened so I can save time but won't look a complete mess.

I am worried about my nursery feeding my little boy too much as they make such massive portions - guess I will have to bring this up with them.

Maybe I should buy all my greetings cards for the year up front?

I'm after tips too - I work 4 days with 3 dc under 5 - we manage, stuff gets done but I'm finding it stressful,I feel like I rush around all day everyday and collapse in a heap at the end of it!

Can't afford a cleaner (3 lots of childcare - ouch) but seem to keep on top of it (or have very low standards) signed up to flylady and do a room or section of house each evening.

dh having to take some time off to do diy as we have a list as long as our arm that never gets done

I start work at 7am - dh does all drop offs I do pick ups, ds1 at school and we need to get a white board up to make notes like 'don't forget school trip letter' as we're not great at putting everything in his folder and as he's only 4 he can't remember to tell us everything!

Load of washing in every day & have one in washable nappies - I never seperate colours and iron twice a week but love this job as I get to do it in front of telly

I have literally just started doing my food shopping on line in my lunch break at work so far so good...
ditto for birthday presents - amazon
I buy loads of cards in advance - I'm also a Phoenix card trader which are great cards to have in the draw as all blank, cheap and great quality

Hairdresser comes to our house, I make sure she is booked every 6-8 wks and does all 5 of us

My main issue is cooking - I used to love cooking, I have meal and after school/pick up snack plan but it eats up so much of my time when I want to be focussing on the boys, they aren't at an age where they can really help either so they end up watching telly whilst I get cooking ds1 has packed lunches and I want to give them a proper meal plus we all get to eat together at 6pm when dh gets home but thats the hardest bit of my day

Older 2 have swimming lessons on Monday afternoon - I hate this - I think I'll have to conceed to Saturday morning ones as taking 3 is hard work but I was hoping to keep our weekends free... swimming lessons are kind of none negioatable life skill for us too so its important and only thing they do.

If I'm totally honest I only just cope with missing my boys (been back at work since Sept) I remind myself why working is important to me and how, when I'm earning again (!), it will provide for family and I'm supporting dh too by taking some of the pressure off. I also find it hard that people tell me how hard it is/must be, not very helpful if that makes sense

I'd love to know if anyone else has any tips that would also make it less stressful, struggle to fit in clothes shopping... and it grates that I'm the planner, dh does his share but I'm the one who seems to be planning childcare, know holiday days etc, it would be lovely if it was on his radar

Oh and dh and I share an online google calender - everything is on there so he has no excuse bout not knowing what is going on and I know when he is away with work