What if you don't have a career to go back to?

[BabCNesbitt]

Will try to keep this short: Got a good law degree from a good uni, worked as barrister for a couple of years, utterly hated it, left the Bar nearly 10 years ago ( ), had no idea what else to do, dithered about in various other admin-type jobs for a few years, then took a job as a legal secretary a few years ago to pay for a part-time language degree.

I'll be finishing that degree this summer and am pg (due October). I'm planning on being a SAHM for a while, as we'll be moving abroad for DH's job for at least a year, but: what then? What can I do after that? I'd always hoped that I'd find the right career eventually (and I've read all those 'What Color Is Your Parachute'-type books), but it never happened, and I've still got no real urge towards any particular field or career.

I feel now like I've got no real skills (my language skills aren't that great, as part-time means no year abroad), and all I've done work-wise for the last few years is sit on my arse typing and filing. Should I just accept that if I do go back to work (and manage to get a job), I'll probably just be a secretary for the rest of my life? :(

I can truly empathize with most of you about about trying to go back to work. I am new to mumsnets so I kind of feel like I'm at an AA meeting (admitting to my failure): Hello everyone, I'm a SAHM. I have a 2 year old daughter. I have an MBA but have not been working for over 5 years. I did a Professional Makeup Course that cost almost as much as my MBA, but lost my passion for it. I'll be 40 this year and feel like a failure because I'm not financially independent. If my husband becomes permanently ill tomorrow, what will I do? My diverse working experience makes me unqualified for specific experience requirements, and my education makes me overqualified for admin jobs in the eyes of employers, which leaves me stuck in a rut. Like some of you I've read "What Colour is my Parachute", "It's Not How Good You Are, It's How Good You Want to Be", 'Find Your True Calling', "Resillience" etc, and did the Psychometric Tests, etc. I still feel lost. :-( Has anyone tried 'Cognitive Behavioral Therapy'? If so was it worthwhile? Did it work??? It's hopeless when you feel like there is no solution.

Yup Ive never had a burning desire to be a nurse, army, lawyer, doctor or anything vaguely career wise. Yup I have a degree (dont do it kids! Save the cash! Join an apprenticeship instead!).

If you like STAHM just do that - do you have to do something else? If you want to do something, do you have to be paid for it? Childrens centres often want extra help, a library, part time in a florist?

Does it really matter that you never had a burning desire to be something? Ive surprised myself really by being flipping happy being a mum. Can now finally cope with the office as just paying the bills rather than "wasting my potential" that phrase was just made up by someone conning me into work in the first place when I was 20....

I'm a bit similar to the earlier poster who was a teacher. I have 2 good degrees (first was Oxford, second was OU). While pregnant with no 1 I did a psychology degree thinking I could retrain as a psychologist, however we have now moved far too far from an institution that will support that without me having to leave home at 6 and get back really late. My husband works away monday-friday (for a low salary :( ) so I'm not prepared to put my daughter through that to retrain.

Anyway, now (accidentally) pregnant with no2. I will need to work for money within a couple of years so could teach either subject part time, but I had initially wanted to leave teaching. Teaching is also incredibly inflexible work wise- I'm terrified of missing first days of school, sports days, christmas play and have no idea (yet) how I'd get childcare for parents evenings etc.

Would love to do a job I loved... or even one that uses my brain!

PS - have the same problem with facebook. All my ex-school friends and ex-oxford friends seem to either be having high-flying careers or have very wealthy husbands and are doing a great voluntary work/ officer's wife/etc type role.

I never knew what to do and neither did most of my friends but we've all ended up as writers, artists, musicians, natural scientists and historians. The point being that if nothing conventional is grabbing you maybe you should think of less likely career options - do you have a hobby/interest/yearning to do something creative? Maybe that's the answer?

This is interesting reading. I have got two small children and a Bsc and PGCE (teaching) but not keen to return to teaching either. With the youngest getting to preschool age my friend and I were talking about this and thinking about doind something completely different but it's hard to know where to start. My degree is environmental sciences so not sure could maybe retrain / update in environmental consultancy. However it was a long time ago now (99). Friend is a florist and it seems lovely, she says she sometimes feels a bit embarrased about it, sadly, when others have more 'profession' type careers. We talked about maybe starting up as mothers helps for mums with newborns. Not sure though. Can see it being rewarding, however it would be good to use qualifications and get well paid...

Just thought I'd bump this as I found it very interesting reading. Have a lot of admin/retail experience, SAHM for some years and have degree as well but do not have a clear idea of what career/job to follow - nice to know I'm not the only one, some people seem to have very clear ideas about what they want to do or where they fit but I've never been like that. Like Zippy's idea of doing something unconventional but how to pay the bills in the meantime? Or LaCiccolina's idea that it doesn't really matter and just accept working in an office to get by. Maybe a bit of both? I'd like to try some new creative classes but also wary of wasting time faffing about doing things that might not turn out to be much of a prospect. I'd like to work for myself as I like doing my own thing, being flexible with working hours and hate office politics but not sure what to do. Would love to hear some more thoughts on this subject.

I would love to know if any of you found what you wanted to do in the end. Going through something similar myself