Apparently I will be useless when I am a Mother

[dyzzidi]

I work in recruitment and have only been told yesterday that they will have me back part time after maternity leave. I asked 24 weeks ago now but have only just been given an answer. So I will be working three days a week 8.30 till 5.30 from June onwards.

I've just taken a call from the manager at another branch asking for my boss when I replied he is on a course today he asked why I hadn't done the course for him. I said because My maternity leave starts soon and someone in the office need this course. He said I wouldn't have you back after that baby you women are all the same I bet you won't even work late will you. I told him it was nothing to do with him and then hung up!!!

If it was his business he would know that in addition to working part time I am also going to cover holidays for full time members of staff much to my bosses delight.

God I am so angry I could punch this man.

Am i right in thinking this will be the standard thoughts of most men in the workplace????

what hope is there?

My boss will have a fit when I tell him tomorrow. What is worse being in recruitment we all know about discrimination Law.

I daren't tell my DH.

it also applies to female bosses IME
and, sorry to say, I don't stay late at work anymore since i had children
I try to say to my boss that I used to do alot of unpaid overtime and stayed at least an hour later every day for 2 years....now I go on time, so the initial phase was an extra- not to be expected, but all she sees is somebody who is less committed to her job.
With her attitiude, it also makes me a little less committed too.
Anyway, I am very surprised that somebody actually said this to your face, what a prat!

He is early sixties and obviously thinks women should stay at home with their children. In an ideal world I would not return to work but life isn't perfect and we need the money.

I am going to scream with frustration if one more person says anything to me.

It is a complete male environment I work in and in fairness most of the men are great (well at least to my face)

Dyzzidi, I would have lost it completely with that git! Despite all the well-intentioned nods towards flexible working hours, family-friendly employment policy etc. most employers still want workhorses rather than people.

I worked in personnel for the local education authority and was once asked by a middle-aged male headteacher if it was OK only to recruit male or older women teachers so he wouldn't have the hassle of ever organising maternity cover!

I said OF COURSE NOT, but it's what a lot of them go ahead and do anyway. Crossing my fingers that times will eventually change.

Good luck and I'm glad you have a supportive boss - that's something many mums don't have.

Blimey! Never mind the obvious sexism in his statement, but what a complete idiot. Statements like can cost people their jobs.

Too bad he didn't put it in writing.

To answer your question, I think most men in the work place are not like that. But it only takes one bad apple...

I've run across a few in my day. But on the whole most of the men I work with (and I work with mostly men) treat me with respect.

I work 3 days a week in a very male dominated company, I am the only part time worker, I just managed to strike a very lucky deal. yes, initially I had to proove myself, been doing it for 3 years now,AND i am not going to go back full time when youngest dd stats school in January. Enlightened bosses know how to get the best out of you, my manager knows I would rarely work late, but he also knows Iam committed to my work because I feel valued. Some men are in the dark ages, just ignore him, he can't have a negative influence on you. you can not change everyones opinion about working Mums, unfortunately there are also plenty of women out there who feel the same way. Just enjoy the diversity - and the cash, it will bring to your life.

Hi dyzzidi,
I used to work in recruitment and came accross something quite similar. I went back ft after dd1, however because I used to finish at 5.30, and didn't do late nights, so I could get her from nursery I was asked when I was coming back ft?!?!? I used to start at 8am. After having dd2 I knew there was no way I could return, however as you kkno wthere is good money in recruitment and the thought of giving that up was hard.
Thankfully I was introduced to something else by a good friend, and now have the ability to earn what I was earning, from home, working around my family.
If you're interested take a look at my website

It's always good to know there are other ways to earn money and still have a life

woops the link didn't work
web address is www.life4living.org.uk

I wonder what this guy would do if his child was alone in the house because his wife couldn't get away from the office?

Leave the child alone at home?
Or refuse to work late himself?

I would say standard thoughts of most men and women. It is pretty understandable though because lots of things change after you have children.

1. Your priorities become your child not your job
2. It is difficult to work late due to childcare

I think most employers bend over backwards to accommodate our wishes to continue careers when we have children. For example them letting you go back 3 days a week sounds fantastic.