Who looks after your children in the holidays?

[Dougalstrops]

Hello!

I'm due to be starting a new job next month working 3 days per week - it will be my first non-term time job but now I'm starting to worry about the holidays. Term time shouldn't be a problem (apart from INSET days and sickness).

So what arrangements have you made for your children? How does it work for you?

I have 4 DC's (18,16,10 and 9) and was planning on asking the teenagers to look after the youngest two for 1.5 days per week in the holidays. In pincipal they are fine with this but I'm starting to worry that it isn't going to work. What if they start fighting? Or want to go out and feel resentful that they can't? Am I asking too much of them?

I've been looking at holiday clubs but they are all so expensive! I have family who would help with the occassional day but nothing regular/concrete.

I haven't handed my notice in yet so I'm beginning to wonder if I should stick with my current job with crappy pay

HELP PLEASE!

I am starting a new job soon and my DS starts Primary School in Sept. My DH has agreed to take time off in half terms as he is self-employed.
Xmas won't be too much of a problem. He works in construction and the summer is DH's busiest time so
The six week holiday will be more problematic, I guess he will have to attend holiday club of some sort as we have no relatives to help out (about £150 pw ??)Will worry about it next summer

i'm assuming that you are going to pay them to babysit? shouldn't be an issue.

or use holiday clubs for the younger two.

or find a childminder for the younger two.

last year we shipped out one grandma for 3 weeks, then the other one. (a 9 hour flight). but tbh for shorter hols we try to alternate who takes time off work.

we have frequent snow days here, but fortunately i have a lovely friend who works in the pre-school, so if there is a snow day she is able to have my kids.

Thanks for the replies.

Howy - my DH is in the construction business too. He'll be home over Christmas so that shouldn't be a problem. And he'd take the odd day off for an emergency. Like you say, the summer holidays is the trickiest bit!

Madwomanintheattic - yes, I was planning on paying them, but not a huge amount. What do you think would be fair?

I've looked at holiday clubs but none of them seem to start early enough.

Hadn't thought about a childminder - will look into that one.

I could ask one Grandma to cover a week for me in the summer. And I suppose I'd have my own holiday which I guess I could take in the summer. Thats 4 weeks done And I could afford an activity week for one week - so that's 5 weeks catered for!

Thanks for the ideas.

I think if your older children are willing to look after the younger ones you should pay the going rate and at least min wage.

Minimum wage? Ouch!
Does that mean I can start charging them for taxi services, money lending and out of hours food delivery?

They would only be expected to be in their own home with their siblings so I'm not sure about paying an hourly rate as such. They've both said they'd be happy to do it and don't expect to be paid but I'd want to pay them something. I was thinking maybe £15 for the day but maybe that's not enough. I dunno - it does seem like alot to ask although when I look at it on paper it would only actually be approximately 1.5 days every couple of months.

My current job is looking more attractive

£15 is generous! I assume they get board, lodgings, washing, ironing, cleaning, clothes, toiletries, taxis etc all paid for by you?

Oh yes, not to mention haircuts, college bus fares, driving lessons, internet access etc....so they don't do too badly!

I just don't want them to feel like I'm taking advantage - which really I don't think they will. I seem to like feeling guilty about things!

You could use some bits of activity clubs which the older ones take them to & from?

Sod it, you are a family and it's all about give and take. £15 is generous and if you explain you can't hold down a job without their help they will understand.
I watched my brother in the holidays, perfectly reasonable request and I never minded!

um, except that, if they wanted to get their own summer jobs (that would pay them minumum wage, and give them a bit of work experience for their college applications/ cv), they wouldn't be able to if they were supposed to be babysitting their siblings for £15...

would they be wanting to get holiday jobs? (only really relevant in the summer - i know loads of teens round us are involved in the tourism industry all summer and earn quite good money) if not, then pocket money for 'home' work is fine.

HarrietJones - that's a good diea I'm going to look into. There is a local leisure centre just a couple of minutes walk away that has sports clubs running throughout the summer. Maybe I could book the younger two in and ask the older two to drop off and pick up - so most of their day would be free. Thank you.

Knackeredmother - thanks you. I have discussed it with them and they weren't reluctant in the slightest, so hopefully they'd feel like you did about your brother.

Madwoman - my eldest has had a summer job before but I had to take her and pick her up because the logistics of public transport and timings just didn't add up. I have a feeling she'd rather have a day at home for £15 anyway That is a fair point about them not being available for a proper job though.

Would not paying them give them a good life lesson in giving and taking - especially in a safe family environment? Not everything should be about money.

flork, no, not everything's about money - but if all your mates are working all summer and want you to come and join them on a night out, you're going to end up asking your mum for money anyway. it's a balance between helping out and building up a huge sense of resentment

using the sports scheme is a good compromise though. and if she wouldn't be able to work because of logisitics anyway, then paying her a bit to babysit for you sounds ideal.

to be honest - most of my freinds do pay their teens to babysit younger sibs if they need them to, because they are stopping them from taking other paying babysitting jobs... (thinking of evenings). a couple of hours during the day if they don't have plans is fine without remuneration!

This is the exact question I always ask my friends and its usually down to grandparents. I work from home partly on the farm and do alot in construction too. At this moment I could not physcially or financially go out to work. DS1 is in reception so I do the odd wrap around and grandma does one afternoon. DS2 I pay for 2 days nursery. These days I catch up with paperwork, courses, and work on the farm.

My mum is too old and has her own mad social life to be able to cope with the two wild boys. Not everyone has the luxury of family assistance and to be honest have always been disappointed with the help my own mother hasnt offered.

There is no way I could go out to work till they are older and the concern of holiday time would become a nightmare. Hubby works long hours and hardly ever has a day off as self employed.

What is the costs of a home help with a childcare element?

I know, it's so difficult isn't it.

I always imagined that things would get easier as they got older, and in some respects it has, but really you just end up with a new load of difficulties.

Bacon, do you mean a nanny or an au pair? I would imagine an au pair would cost around £100 per week but they usually live in and we don't have the room. I think the cost of a nanny varies quite a bit but I have a feeling I'd end up paying out more than I earnt!

I don't have grandparents to help either so that's not an option.

I have turned down the job. They were very understanding about it (before contracts etc.) so I feel like a weight has been lifted. I'll have to put up with crappy pay for a few more years I guess - but at least I'm not paying out for childcare at the moment (well, not much). At least I get to enjoy the summer holidays now

Thank you all for your advice

Forgot to say - hope you find something that suits you, Bacon.