Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Which version of email would you use?

1 reply

SoDiana · 06/04/2011 20:18

Hi ladies.
I'm currently doing a sort of 'back-to-work' course. As part of this I had the opportunity to gain work experience in my ideal job.
There is a freeze on recruitment within this company but there is another course which I could participate in when this course finishes, if I manage to find an employer willing to have me. It would be employer based training.

Now, here's my dilemma.
I asked the manager about the opportunity to do the training with her company and received the following email (part of it).

"In relation to the EBT programme, I applied for a person through another work placement programme and I am waiting for word back on that application. This person would be with us for a year, if the application came through. As you know, there is limited space here so I wouldn't have room for two extra people. I should know more about this at the end of April and I'll come back to you then."

I'm currently in two minds as to what to respond.

My head is saying respond with a very professional email but my heart is saying, pull out all the stops. I'm afraid though if I do the latter I'll come across as a nutcase, and perhaps she has made a decision already and is letting me down gently. It is worth mentioning that I'm in no way qualified for the job, however I can do the job (if that makes sense).

First email version would be along the lines of:

"Hello xxx

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate the experience you have given me so far and understand you must have numerous applications for work experience. Please keep me in mind for any work placement positions you may have in the future, should you be unable to facilitate me on this occasion"

Version two is along the lines of:

"Hello xxx
Thank you for your reply and for keeping me in consideration for a work placement.
I thoroughly enjoyed my initial placement with your company and really enjoyed the tasks you assigned me.
I am going to go out on a limb here and beg! I have never felt so 'at home' while at work as I did at xxxxxx. I enjoy xxxxxx so much, it doesn't feel like work.
I understand I am not qualified on a professional basis, but will be pursuing a correspondence course/night course to gain a third level qualification.
I am passionate about this line of work and would give 100% in terms of commitment and dedication if you could offer me a placement.
I hope you can keep me in mind."

I'm guessing the first version is the way to go?

OP posts:
ChupaChups · 06/04/2011 21:49

First version!!!

You sound like a nut job in the second...

New posts on this thread. Refresh page