Heard that I'm not committed to company because I've had a family

[upturnj]

Hi, I'm currently on maternity leave with my second child. I have worked at the same company for 15years and have heard on the grapevine that the owner (female) believes I'm no longer committed to the company which couldn't be further than the truth.

I suffered 3 m/c's before the birth of DD2 and barely took any time off work to recover from them because I was the only one in the dept. I pretty much covered 2 other peoples roles as well as my own. No one asked me to do this and I received no thank you's. I have'nt had a line manager as such for a couple of years and as I'd been there for so long and knew what needed doing I just got on with it.

I had always been good friends with the owner and have supported her on a personal level on several occasions. I heard she was getting married so called her to wish her well. She was so short with me the conversation lasted all of about 20seconds. She got married last week and invited all her long serving employees apart from me.

I feel like writing her a letter and telling her how bloody committed I've been to her company. She has been on TV programmes and outwardly supports woman in business especially working mothers but she is now so far removed from her own company and I don't think she has a clue what I've been doing and I have no one at work to stick up for me. WWYD?? I desperatly want to enjoy the ret of my maternity leave but I feel so angry.

Firstly congratulations on the birth of DD2.

It hurts when people you consider to be friends turn out to be merely employers, happens to a lot of us when we dare to have children.

Practically there is not a lot you can do, other than perhaps cutting contact with those people that are sharing grapevine news with you until you back to work as I can't think what they hoped to achieve by telling you about the owners feelings.

At this point I'd try to put it behind me and enjoy your maternity leave. She hasn't officially done anything wrong and it's up to her who she invites to her wedding although I can appreciate that it must hurt.

Are you planning to apply for flexible working or returning on your same terms? If its the same terms, then you don't need someone to stick up for you, you just need to go back at the end of mat leave and continue to do the excellent job that you did before. If you do want to reduce hours, well at least you are warned that you will need to plan your application carefully and not assume that any bonds of friendship will apply.

Thank you Rookie good idea on the cutting contact which I will do. You hit the nail on the head by saying how dare we have children. You're right in that it hurts, I've put a hell of a lot of effort into this company over the years but perhaps rather naively thought I could have a family and a good job too. I'd love to work part-time or flexible hours and have already put in my request to do this and am waiting to hear back from them. Thank you again for taking the time to reply, it's brought comfort in knowing that I'm not alone.