Please tell me my PFB will be OK - very anxious about starting back at work.

[LaTristesse]

I start back in 3 weeks time, only 2 days and grandma will be having him, so I really do have the best of all worlds, but I'm still very anxious about leaving my year old DS. For the last year we've co-slept, baby-worn, breastfed, lived in each others' pockets basically and loved every minute. We're both going to find it difficult initially I know, but can someone reassure me my DS will be ok? That he won't miss me too much (I mean to his detriment...)
Thanks

awww, i am sure he'll be fine. if he's anything like my 3 boys spending time with Grandma is infinitely more fun than spending time with Mummy lol

I agree they play well together, but he still seems so small and reliant on me to be spending whole days away from me...

They adapat remarkably well. In fact I predict a post from you in 3 weeks time saying

'AIBU to be upset that my PFB doesn't appear at all upset that I have gone back to work and left him with grandma'

Honestly, it is harder on you than him. And he is with grandma! I think part of the reliance might be perceived because you are there for him...does that make sense? Just because he relies on you whilst you are there doesnt mean he will not cope without you. It might take him a bit of time to adapt but Im sure there is little your mum cant do that you do (ok apart from the BF!).

And he will still know you are mum, still love you. Are you still breastfeeding him?

Thanks for the reassurances... I do feel a little better after reading them!
Yes I am still breastfeeding him - I had intended to reduce to morning and night only, but he's such a milkaholic he wasn't having any of it! He'll drink water from a beaker fine though so I'm not so worried about his fluid intake, he bf's more when he wants some comfort to be honest...

I think too that it's more the issue of you missing him than the other way. My first day away from dd (she was with her dad), she fasted and when I got home breastfed like there was no tomorrow. No need to mention that both dh and I felt awful. But, she and he had a great time together and now I look back I'm really pleased they had that time. Plus at that time I really made good progress at work and it was really a time of professional development for me. Still, I still beat myself up about leaving her. I don't think there's a solution. Your dc will be fine but I'm sure it won't be easy for you. But, you will get through it in the end. Just remind yourself WHY you're working, whether to earn money that you need, to keep a job which you wouldn't be able to return to otherwise and which you want to have when your kids are grown up (!), because you enjoy it, because it allows you space for personal development, adult contact, whatever. Those are all reasons where your dc benefits - either financially or from having a happier, calmer mum. If you aren't getting anything out of the job (I had this situation for a while), get out of it! :)

Hi - I am sure he will be fine - as PP said it more you will miss him
I take it he has been to your mums for a whole day before -if not I would suggest doing this before you start work - this will be give some confidence he will be ok - and book some nice things for yourself that day as well - hair cut, shopping etc

I admit there is a lot of 'me missing him' going on! It's not helped by quite a lackadaisical (sp?) attitude from my MiL (it's not my mum having him unfortunately). I've tried to get her to set time aside to have some practise runs with DS but she doesn't seem to have the time. We've managed as much as 4 hours, but nowhere near a full day. That's not helping to calm my anxiety any!

MIL has had DD 2 days a week since she was 10m old (she's now 2.5).

I know what you mean about it being easier had it been your own mum, as sometimes i want to say things that I would have said to my own mum but somehow can't as it's DP's mum.

Thing is, don't forget that she brought up the man you love. She must have done OK if he's the person you love eh?
She will cope - grandparents normally just get on with it and don't fret too much.

DD never spent a whole day with nana until the day I went back to work, just a few hrs here and there but it was fine. Obviously I missed her like mad but tbh, it was (and to some extent still is) waaaay harder on me than DD - she's never known/can't remember any different.
When I drop DD off, she often turns to me and says, well mummy off you go. See you later and tries to push me out of the door.

What I've found harder as she's got older is nana's lack of discipline with her. This means when mummy has to set rules, DD often wails for nana, which is hard. But isn't that what grandparents are for :) ?

Anyway, you will miss DS and there will be days when it's hard, but before long you'll have a lovely routine and you will have a bit of your adult life back.
Good luck.

Thank you, that's reassured me lots!

I'm really sick of reading.....'oh no I have to go back to work my poor baby' only to discover the person is going back 1 hour a week and the child is being looked after by its dad!!!

sorry I'm just bitter...I have to go back full time and leave my 6 month old baby in a nursery, it is killing me but I have no choice.

op..you are very very lucky I would give anything to be in your position.

stilldazed what I didn't say in my post was whilst MIL has DD 2 days a week, she then goes to nursery 3 days a week. I too work FT cos I have to.

It was the hardest thing I have ever done and i understand your feelings but try to be kind to yourself. Your baby will not know any different after a short while and you will always be mummy.
Try not to be too full of 'if only/what if' but focus on the positives and the times you will spend together. i feel for you but I am sure it'll work out in the end.

thank you for your kind post MrsArchchancellorRidcully.

I am sitting at my desk with tears in my eyes.