Advice with regards to confidentiality issues in workplace

[bethelbeth]

...I never dreamed that I may ever have to post here but I'd love to have your tuppence worth...

To summarise: I had my 121 with my asst manager yesterday. I was asked 'Any issues at all?' and as per every month I answered 'Just the same, I get talked to terribly by (male colleague) and I'm not impressed with how he deals with clients as I think it's unprofessional.

Asst manager then told me confidentially that they had the same issue with colleague which had been raised with manager and nothing done.

I said, 'Well if you can pass along my feedback, I'd appreciate if it was approached with them'.

For the record, I don't care much for this colleague, I work part time so don't even have the time to be bothered-but in my opinion they are not pulling their weight so to speak.

I advised asst manager that * had been making derogatory comments about a colleague that we have in common on social networking- and that our manager was aware of this. I did not feel this was acceptable and it should be dealt with.

Asst manager agreed to deal with it confidentially and we'd discuss at a later date.

Today, after much whispering with manager, asst manager says that they have not had much sleep worrying about what has been said on fb about another colleague and that it is unnaceptable.

I agree, and they ask me if they want me to take it up formally with manager who is good friend of colleague in question. By this point manager has already been made apparent to the manager by asst so I figure-why not! They know already so I might as well request that they do something about it.

I get pulled into a meeting where everything i have questioned/brought up is flat out ignored/thrown out as if the colleague is not being abusive personally to me it is none of my business and it's up to the affected colleague to bring it up.

As I said, they have been abusive, derogatory to myself but also to other colleagues who are worried about their close friendship and not willing to talk about it.

I said this is not conducive to a good working relationship-hence why nobody gets on as it is. Very cliquey. And that perhaps the management should make themselves more available for staff as they are not approachable at the moment.

I was told this is not my issue, if people don't like how things are done they should approach them about it.

I feel undermined, and also as though my integrity has been brought into question. I am a good colleague with good figures/working relationships.

Upon my return from this meeting it becomes apparent that none of it was confidential and all of my team are aware of the fact that I have brought up a problem with a colleague but they haven't been told the facts and they think it involves all of them so i am now being shunned.

Sorry for the length but I hope this summarizes the issues at hand,

I will speak to acas tomorrow as I don't think i have been treated fairly but I would love a 2nd opinion as it's been very upsetting all day. I am not looking forward to work on monday.

This is very garbled- my apologies- but I'm finding it hard to think straight as so many parts of this keep coming to mind and it's hard to get on a page.

Perhaps you've done this already, but something in writing from you - rather than an Assistant Manager's notes - might be more appropriate now. Carefully ordered, though. For example "Following several informal reports, I now write to draw your attention to my concerns about Joe Bloggs, his conduct and attitude. Examples of this are X Y and Z. Whilst not impacting on myself directly, these examples are indicative of behaviours that are impacting on the team as a whole." Use the Facebook thing as one example. Put a couple of others to confirm the point. BUT do think carefully about this. You're approaching Grievance territory, sounds as though your managers aren't too experienced and they may still brush it under the carpet.

Sorry. On the phone text thingy and it doesn't do paragraphs!

Do you have a copy of the grievance policy? You really need to read that when thinking about what to do next.

I only have a minute but if this colleagues behaviour is offensive in regards to sex, disability, sexual orientation, pregnancy/maternity, race or any other protected characteristic covered by the Equality Act you do not have to be the person targeted to complain. If you observe the behaviour and find it offensive that is enough.

Am I right in thinking you have raised the issue more than once and nothing's been done? Because an employer has to take action if they are made aware of the problem and they can't wait for you to put it in writing.

I'm assuming you work in retail or banking so there's probably an Har department. As this is now quite a big issue and affecting your work relationships more widely I would consider raising a grievance to get it all sorted out properly. It sounds like your manager and assistant manager are not up to the task but I would expect they'd contact HR if you raised a grievance.

If you do decide to raise it formally then you should do so in writing and follow the organisation's grievance procedure. This may mean giving the details of the grievance directly to the manager or HR or the manager's line manager. I would recommend sending a copy to HR regardless but make it clear on all letters you have done this.

When setting out your grievance clearly write about the facts. State what happened and give dates/times where you can. A bullet pointed timeline may be most appropriate here. Do mention the previous occasions you raised the issue about the colleague and who you raised them with.

You should then expect to have your grievance heard before they investigate and then possibly another meeting before the outcome is sent to you. You should have the opportunity to appeal the grievance.

There is also nothing to stop you telling people what happened but I'd think carefully before doing that because it could weaken your position if people think you're badmouthing your colleague.

Hello thanks for your feedback ladies I've consulted ACAS and still not entirely sure how to move things forward.

Katie- I work in finance so we do have an hr dept. To begin with i didn't think it was worth involving them as I felt it could probably be dealt with by my dept (a quiet word would suffice) but given that my manager is now holding the fact that I've brought this to her attention against me, I think that it might be the way forward.

ACAS have advised (without me having to go into detail.) that things may be uncomfortable etc but that from their point of view there's nothing that I should be doing apart from putting up with it or speaking to manager if it gets too bad.

Everything is in writing from my 121 consultations etc but at the meeting with my manager she never took any notes etc and I have experienced being quoted out of context by her before.

With regards to the grievance procedure- she has made it very clear, and gotten very angry over the fact that everything should be brought to her immediately.
I did enquire as to what we should do should we not feel comfortable approaching things with her but I was just told that should never be the case.

I feel awful, because now everyone has seen what happens when you make a complaint- noone will ever do it again. There is far too much goes unspoken.

I'm going to take it day by day and if the atmosphere is bad then I'll ask her to resolve and if she doesn't i'll take it to hr

Poor you it sounds horrendous. You know there's a lot to be said for getting everything out in the open and then drawing a line under it. And that's what the grievance procedure is for.

I think from what you've said you need to do something about it now. Put a grievance in and give it to your manager and copy in HR (so manager doesn't do nothing or make a hash of it).

Unless you think this will go away by itself.

BB - there is nothing to stop you making your own notes of the meeting and referring to them in any further actions that you take.

What would i do without you lot!?

Apparently they were asking a full time colleague who I talk to on a regular basis if she had heard from me and what she knew of the situation.

as far as I'm concerned they shouldn't be putting pressure onto people that this has nothing to do with, I've been very careful not to discuss or mention it to anyone else for this reason as I thought they might try it.

I won't lie and say I'm not upset about it, but I think that they possibly have more to lose than I do over it all as, even stretching every angle as far as I can, I cannot see that I've been in the wrong at all.

So I'll go for a massage tomorrow- chill out and then enter the hellmouth on Monday I'll let you know how I get on