Is my 'career' over now?!

[Larissa1]

This is my first post so am feeling a bit nervous about it all!

I have been back at work now for over 18 months since returning from maternity leave. I've got 2 little boys. I have now got over the 'return to work' confidence crisis and am now steadily ploughing along, getting my work done, enjoying the social side of working.... but what next?!

It feels like there is no career direction anymore. Before kids I was always going for the next promotion or looking for a new training course, but now there don't seem to be any opportunities. Not sure if this is my mindset or reality, but feel like I am not progressing. Maybe I need to do a training course?

Anyone know what I mean and got any tips for refreshing career aspirations?

Thank you!

What do you do?
Sure that it is proberly mind set and even though you have been back a while it takes a long time to get use to the new life you have!!!!
I found that I no longer had the drive for work that I once had when mine were small, however it did come back and I'm sure it will for you.
I am sure opportunities will arise and things will get back to normal, but more training can never do any harm!!!!
Good luck with all you do x

It's not necessarily a permanent change - as your boys get older, you might find that your career drive naturally returns. Something to do with your system currently having high levels of oxytocin but them naturally ebbing away (I might be talking rubbish, but that's how I've heard it explained).

It's okay to fake it till you make it for a while.

I find your wording interesting - "there is no career direction", "there don't seem to be any opportunities".

What direction you want your career to take is your decision only - career direction isn't a thing that arrives in front of you by itself, nor are opportunities.

Perhaps it's just the way you've phrased it but it sounds a bit as though you are expecting/hoping for someone else to tell you what direction your career is/should be going in, and to present you with training/promotions accordingly.

You need to think about what you want from your career, where you want to be, then look at where you are at the moment to identify what obstacles there are to you achieving that and what actions you (not someone else) can take to overcome those. It might be that you have areas in need of developing, which might mean looking for a training course, or finding a mentor, or asking for on-the job training, or any number of things.

I too feel as though I am "treading water" in my career at the moment, but while my boys are still primary school age, this suits me. I have enough to think about going to work, running a house, ferrying DC around to activities etc etc without bringing the stresses of a higher position home with me as well. It's all about priorities. Maybe my drive in the workplace will return but logistically my 20 hours of "go in, do job, go home" is fine by me for now!!!

I agree though, extra training is never wasted.

Thank you all, for your messages and tips.

I work in HR and my role is very project management based. I am possibly feeling stuck because I do seem to get all the dull projects these days. Perhaps it's just because I am not there 5 days a week, working all hours anymore!

Yes, maybe I just need to keep my head down for a bit whilst the children are small and then step up the pace a bit and actively start looking for something a bit more exciting. We can't have it all!

I think I need to refresh my career development skills and think about managing the politics a bit better. I know some people who are really good at managing the system and their bosses who seem to do quite well.

I guess the hard bit is accepting that I used to 'feel' successful at work but now I feel like I am biding my time until the boys get older. Which is fine, but it's not doing much for my confidence during the hours I so spend at work!

This might be a crazy thing to think or just off-beam for you, but I've been thinking about it quite a bit. Could you find your own project that you could do while you're working to give you the feeling of building something up and not just going through the motions. I have noticed how communication is really bad at my work - people aren't talking to each other about things, they're all just getting on with their own work but there are problems (I mean here strictly work-related!) which everyone has and still they are all at present battling on with them on their own. I wondered about trying to figure out ways that we could pool our resources more.
Another idea I had was starting up a sort of network of parents at work ( to begin with just a list of email addresses) who could exchange advice on nurseries, managing sick children issues, preparing for maternity leave etc..

Thanks, Piccadilly. I think you're right that if you are more proactive in instigating something, you feel like you are more in control.

I suppose if you think about it, we learn so much during our mat leaves and in our 'motherly' roles that we develop things like good empathy skills, which like you point out help us notice things that maybe other more 'seasoned' employees overlook.

Great idea about the parenting network - I have heard in some companies that this works quite well and that you could get budget to get speakers in - like First Aid or choosing schools etc.

Let me know how you get on!