Bullying at work

[OompaLumpa]

Hi ladies, i have been in my current job for just over three years. I have a fairly senior role and report into one of the most senior members of the company, and as a worldwide company, there are only 3 people on the board who cpuld effectively overrule him on anything.

He has a reputation. In the company for being aggressive, obstrucrive and just nasty and effectively rules our team through fear. I have some (although it is diminishing) respect for him as a lawyer but as a line manager i am findinf his behaviour to me unbearable.

I have been off sick in the past with my asthma, but even when i have been in hospital i have tried to conti ue to work on my blackberry. In these situations he gets more arsy with me as he sees me being iut of the office as a masive inconvenience for him.

Now i am pg with our first and have been told i cannot. Fly due to complications. He makes it very clear he is unhappy with this, and makes a big deal of telling me at every opportu ity of how much work he is having to do because of me.

I was admitted to hospital last week with a nasty chest infection and partial collapsed lung. The day before i dragged myself into work and was trying to talk to him about some work but i was so wheezy it was hard to be understood. He was really rude to me and it was likw the final straw and i calmy walked out of his office and promptly burst into tears in front of all my male colleagues.

I havwnt been back since. Im srill signed off sick but have been doing some work from home, with my gp's permission, and he srill sends me short, arsy emails. I cannot do anything right and i feel like he has finally broke me.

I get nervous to get mails from him now and am scared to open them. I never used to be like this but i have lost all confidence. I know if i raise a grievance he will make my life miserable. I have spoken to hr and they know what is going on but say unless in formally make a complaint there is nothing i can do.

Should i just resign? I really cannot afford to lose my job before i go on mat leave but i cant face him and his jibes anymore. I cd get signed off but i worry about references showing i have taken too much sick leave going forward and also know if i do that he will slate me to everyone and anyone in our profession.

I feel so stressed and it is taking over all my thoughts. Any advice?

Sorry for the long mail.

Gruesome situation.

You do need to act. If you don't act you will just stress yourself out even more.

Here are the options:

1. You do nothing - he stays arsy, you can't take it any more and walk out. You then claim constructive dismissal but you have a very uphill battle because you didn't follow procedure. Not worth going there.
2. You confront him, thinking you might get him to be more reasonable. No, just don't go there.
3. You look for another job. Pretty impossible when PG and you still won't get closure on this.
4. You put in a formal grievance to HR and take it from there (staying signed off sick in the meantime if necc). Outcomes will be either they take it seriously and deal with it or they don't. If they don't you can then put in a claim at a tribunal and either stay off sick or resign. If they do deal with it then things should improve and if not you then have more evidence for a tribunal.

You don't really have any option other than to make a grievance, do you?

FWIW I was in exactly the same position (with a bit of blatant sex discrim thrown in) - I had a high powered job under the MD. I spoke to the doctor about the stress and also about my concerns regarding how my illness might look when I tried to get other jobs. In the end (and because I had an underlying medical condition) my GP concluded that my PG viability was at risk and she signed me off for the rest of my PG as being unfit for work due to a 'High Risk Pregnancy'. This has never subsequently been questioned by anyone when I have been jobhunting. I also put in a formal complaint and instructed a solicitor (Bindmans in London are v good for this). In my case, there were a number of people in the organisation who were very pleased that I had put in a grievance because it stopped him treating them like crap too. But it was very stressful route to go down, especially as I thought he would trash my reputation in the market. But I figured that not dealing with it was even more stressful. In fact my reputation was not trashed but his was - because I complained he now walks round with the reputation of being a bully, and nothing untoward happened to me as a result (I did get a large payout, by the way, a month before tribunal). I never had to resign so my employment record continued unbroken - the settlement came toward the end of my maternity leave. I was very lucky so your own outcome might be different, but to be honest I'm not sure you have a choice. It can't stay like it is and you owe it to yourself and your baby to take action and let him start taking the flak for his actions, rather than you.

Horrible. To help yourself in the short term STOP working while off sick.

You aren't doing anyone any favours... And may be giving the impression of skiving.

Longer term, you do need tonspeak to his senior ... Others will definately know what he's like and they will take you seriously. You need to give clear examples of his behaviour.

I agree with stillsquiffy. Get yourself signed off sick, don't touch your blackberry while you are off sick and raise a grievance.

Agree with above - I think the only question you have is to raise a formal grivance now -get all the documentation -ready ie dates of what happened, keep all the emails etc - keep a formal diary from now on
Or the other option is to speak to senior managment informally but from HR's response this may not help

Do not worry about how much sick leave you are taking - see recent thread on - employers cannot now ask for sickness records before job offers and cannot revoke them due to too much sick
And agreee Stop working - no good to anyone -espcially you and your baby - maybe get your OH to read the emails so you keep a record

DO NOT resign - I would advise some speclist legal advise

Hi ladies thank you all foe taking the time to resond. My confidence is so low i wasnt sure if i was being too over sensitive if that makes sense? I have just had a call from him and HR to tell me i didnt get the internal job i applied for. This was my coleagies job whoch i have been earmarked for all along and have the skills for. When i asked him when he frst advertised it why he hadnt spoken to me about it, he just replied "whats the point, your not going to be here.". I guess that sums it up! HR very much towed the party line on the call and said most importamt thing is your and babies health etc and so i guess i have some decisions to make.
stillsquiffy thank you foe sharing your experience, i am worried about the stress of raising a grievance but as you say, the other option is just to try and put up with it till i go on mat leave at end of may but then i guess i have to face it when i return.
Grrr, why do these things happen?! Thanks again

"What's the point, your not going to be here"???

He was referring to your maternity leave? And said this in front of HR???

If you are at the point of putting in a grievance - that can only be helpful surely in terms of his attitude towards your mat leave.

How long do you have to go before you go on mat leave? You can go on leave from 11 weeks prior to due date is that correct? Could you leave submitting your grievance until close to that time to give you some breathing space while it is rumbling on (or would you rather it was dealt with prior to going on leave)?

Im not due till the end of june so i have a little while to go yet before mat leave. He didnt make the comment abkut notnbothering to talk to me about the role in front of HR but i made a diary note of it after our conversation.

I could do with a large g and t right now!