Should I resign from my job whilst on ML?

[veggiemama]

My DS is 9 months and I am due back to work in June, I commute 2 hours each way by train and my job is very busy and stressful, basically needing to be on a blackberry 247.

The thought of leaving my DS all day for at least 4 days a week (they won't offer me more part time than 4 days) is breaking my heart.

I just don't feel like the career woman I used to, I want to be with my boy at least for breakfast and bedtime.

I am planning on resigning which would mean giving up a good salary, my career and excellent maternity pay for no. 2 (which we hope to have in the next year).

So my question is has anyone else done this? Is giving up my career and finding a part time job closer to home the right thing to do or will I regret it down the line?

Can't offer any advice or experience but your situation does sound like you wouldn't be spending much time with your son. But some questions you might want to think about.

What kind of part time work would you be able to find, are there many such jobs where you live and would it cover the cost of childcare? I met with a friend at the weekend who gave up work after her second was born and said how hard it was to find part time work as so many women were chasing so few part time jobs. She said it was much easier to turn a full time job part time than to get a part time job.

Can you afford to give up work?

Can you work from home some of the time?

Will you have to pay back your maternity pay - in my job, I had to go back for three months otherwise had to repay maternity leave.

If you do give up work, will you be able to start again in your career a few years down the line?

Can you freelance within your industry?

Can your partner look after your DS and do bedtime and breakfast?

Will you regret it down the line? Just don't look back as you can't change the past, only the future.

Thank you voituredepompier, I don't have to pay back maternity leave and I do have to work but it is scary to think how difficult it is to find part-time work. Thanks for your points, more things to think about.

i wouldn't resign until you have found an alternative. from what i gather, part time jobs are very very hard to come by....

have you thought about trying for DC2 now? you could go back to work knowing it wasn't for long and keep maternity pay

OP, this is the exact dilemma I faced. I resigned last week before my mat leave came to an end (May return, had to give 3 months' notice). I would have been out of the house from 6.45am, returning 7.45pm at the earliest (and I work v late at least 2 nights a week), so would have missed seeing DS from one weekend to the next. The cost of a nanny wouldn't be prohibitive if I returned, but I just read a lot on here and was really struck by the sentiment "you will never look back and wish you had spent more time at work, but you will wish you had spent more time with your DCs". Also DP has the same commute and hours (though not the late nights), so nobody would be around for DS if the nanny was ill etc. 2 hours to get home for an emergency is too far for both parents to be, IMO.

We are now dragging the belt buckles in very tightly as I was the main breadwinner and we've been using my savings to top us up for a few months. I'm not going to stress about looking for a PT job as they are like gold dust here - but keep an open mind about FT that could turn into PT if I have another DC in a year or two.

Looking after DS is a lot of fun, but I know ultimately I do find being at work to be an important factor in my own emotional well-being. I'm treating this time as a sort of extended Gap Year, seeing friends, making new ones and trying to do this all for no money now I'm on nil pay!

Good luck with your decision!

Have a look around. I am finding (having given up a good salary after having DC1) that due to the recession there is more part time work there than I imagined. Depends what field you work in, obviously.

Is there no way you could put in a request for flexable working at your current place -part-time/work from home/ maybe a more doable role
they have to at least consider it. Friend of mine resigned on maternity leave and after she had done her manager said they could have sorted her a difference role with a much shorter commute -

Also if you do go back how about using accured holidays so you only work part time for the first few weeks?
Personally if you can bear it start trying now for no 2 , get good childcare, and go back to work and see how it goes - it might not be as bad as you think, and keep on with the part time/nearer job search.
Part time work search - it can be worth applying for suitable full time roles and either on the application or when offered - depending on the organisation and how much you mind annoying them ask for part time - sounds like if you could get something local though even if it wasn't part time that would make a huge difference
Good luck

Thanks for all your suggestions, I am speaking to my HR about a possible job share and will carry on considering my options whilst time is on my side.

Do they offer a career break scheme ? I took one after ML with ds but had moved away so could n't have returned within the 5 years. As it was things had probably moved on too fast for me to resume easily and the idea of commuting(time and cost) with small dc was not thrilling. I didn't work for over 7 years but now have something pt, local and termtime (if fixed term, relatively poorly paid and not really many career prospects) which suits me atm.