Colleague's innapropriate ring tone

[Popolly]

Not sure if I am being petty with this or not. I have a male colleague, and I am constantly bothered by niggling little things about him, the latest being that he has got himself a ring tone on his mobile that says "CAN THE MAN WITH THE 10INCH PENIS PLEASE ANSWER THIS PHONE". It says it over and over again until the phone is answered.

We are not meant to use our mobiles in working hours, although it is not minded if we have our mobile phones on silent on our desks. His is never on silent, and his ridiculous ring tone really bothers me, mostly I think because I find it so unprofessional.

If this was you, what (if anything) would you do?

just look really surprised when he answers it, and say 'that's not for you...'

I would have thought that working in the public sector would have meant you have more recourse tbh? I work in public sector and I know my manager would come down really strongly on this as they are shit hot on equal ops, no bullying, no sex discrimination.

Do you think your manager would support you?

Agree with Bertie - I would think public sector would take this very seriously as all the little things add up to sexual harrassment.

I suggest you keep a diary and go to HR with it informally You can ask HR to raise it with your manager but to keep your identity confidential.

I do so frequently wonder if I'm just over-sensitive

You are not being over-sensitive he is being a twat and this sort of behaviour is very frowned upon by from an Equalities and Inclusion pov.

If it bothers you then no-one can deny your feelings. I would suggest meeting with his line manager and explain why the behaviour is a problem and how it makes you feel. Use I statements. e.g. I feel uncomfortable when tosspot ..... then tell him what you would like to see happening. I would like tosspot to put his phone on silent, stop making juvenile comments etc.

Does your organisation have an E&I dept or rep? If yes, then I would suggest telling the line mgr that if thnigs don't improve then you will forward your complaint to them to deal with.

i do not think you are over reacting at all this 'man' is a twat and the ring tone is IMO bordering on sexual harrassment - if you have an HR department ask them to raise the matter - they do not have to say where the initial complaint came from - and keep a diary of his other remarks

You have had some good advice here - please do raise it with HR / manager / ombuds - he is a total twat sexist bully and his uppance should come

I too once worked at big American conglomerate and this behaviour would lead to disciplinary action / dismissal gross misconduct.

It's unprofessional as well - do you work in front of the public? Presumably even if not you sometimes have visitors in the room, or have somone on the phone,with that in the background?

if you're are going to change it, change it to "I'm with stupid...I'm with stupid..."

Why is a 10 inch penis supposed to be desirable anyway? BOAK.

It wouldn't offend me but it is grossly unprofessional. Hopefully he is not in a client facing role

The reasons comments and behaviour like this are inappropriate at work are:

1. You are both there to work, and these comments have nothing to do with work.
2. You cannot get away from it, as you could socially. You would be spiting yourself (and the organisation) economically to leave to get away from him/not have meetings with him.
3. His comments show that he looks down on you, as he would be politer and more professional with someone he respected. And why should an organisation allow business relations to be made more unpleasant, just because some twat wants to throw his weight (none of it in his penis, no doubt - the big liar) around, at your expense?
4. A working environment is one of hierarchy, and there are rules about professional behaviour because - as with the economic argument above - some people are at a disadvantage hierarchically. Therefore, everyone has to behave as though they respect one another. In this situation, he is older than you, so likely up the ladder from you? That is abuse of position, even if he's not a manager, since he is on a level with your manager(s).
5. His ringtone presumably sounds when clients/the public can hear, so he is making the whole organisation look like a bunch of wankers. His comments about fat women on council estates is just making it clear what sort of comments he can dish out to anyone who attracts his attention - so leave him alone. How fucking arrogant is that?
6. You are expected to feel embarrassed for being "over-sensitive" because he has told you to feel like that? Nice.

This all adds up to a very dysfunctional working environment, and of course your management should discipline him appropriately. They are legally responsible for providing a professional - not unpleasant - environment for all, and they are economically responsible, too, for facilitating a productive and professional environment.

These are all very important points to make to HR and to him, in any face-to-face which comes out of it.

Sorry, but I have missed whether you have complained (formally or informally) about this to any managers or colleagues?