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Original poster

I am looking forward to going back to work and I feel guilty about it :-(

12 replies

newpositiveme · 04/03/2011 20:00

Firstly I am going to say I do need to work for financial reasons so its not about that.
But I am finding it so so hard looking after my two little ones all day (nearly) every day, going a bit insane with the monotony/demanding nature (emotionally and physically) of it all.
Went in to work today to negotiate my return, I enjoyed being there!!
I know you are all going to say its fine to enjoy work, not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM etc etc but I still feel guilty. I feel I should somehow be devastated!!
I was truly devastated after returning from Mat leave with DS1 but this time has been so much harder and whilst i will be sad to leave them I am looking forwrad to going back.
I cant be the only one can I?? Sad

OP posts:
racmac · 04/03/2011 20:12

i have just returned to work after 4 years off and i love it Grin
Its great to get stuck into something again, earn some money, have relationships with people other than alking about kids, be able to go to the toilet or have a cuppa without hearing "muuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmm"

just because we are parents doesnt mean we cant be anything else

thiasmummy · 05/03/2011 09:06

I feel the same. I am about to go back to work for a couple of days a week after nearly a year off and although I am really looking forward to being back in a 'grown up' environment, I feel terribly guilty! But, i think that it will be good for Thia and me, plus i have found a fabulous nanny who i feel really really comfortable with!!

CameronCook · 05/03/2011 09:08

A happy parent makes for a happy child and all that - don't feel guilty - you are contributing financially to your family and setting a great example to them showing them a good work ethic

nulgirl · 05/03/2011 09:18

I started a new job last year after 2 years off and was dreading it. I now am loving being back at work. I have realised that I am not cut out to be a SAHM. I love my children but I found being at home full time monotonous and unfullfilling. I started full time at work but have now dropped to 4 days a week which gives me a good balance.

Don't feel guilty about loving work. You can still be a great mum and work.

Bideyin · 05/03/2011 09:18

I positively skipped out of the door the first day I went back. I even enjoyed the commute, all that time ON MY OWN :)

Don't feel guilty, it will be good for you all x

AlpinePony · 05/03/2011 09:31

I love it. I went back full-time when my son was 4 months and because I'm able to work from home and my boyfriend works shifts it was only last week that he started in daycare 2 days a week. But I love my days at the office and quite frankly am annoyed when people want to talk about the baby.

I thought I'd love my maternity leave but I was bored senseless, I love being a real person and able to make decisions more important than "chicken or beef", "pampers or huggies"! Wink

I love my son, but I'm still me.

venusandmars · 07/03/2011 13:46

I imagined that I would be a fabulous hands-on involved mummy, but in reality I was stressed, lonely, bored, impatient. I loved my dd whole-heartedly but I could see that it wasn't going to make me happy in the long term.

When I went back to work (2.5 days) I literally sang in the car on the way there. I felt so free walking in with a little tiny handbag rather than a sack load of toys, food, clothes and changing equipment.

I do think my dd benefited more from me being happy, and certainly adding a guilty Mum to the mix wouldn't have made anything better for either of us.

ArthurPewty · 07/03/2011 13:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SnugBabyShop · 08/03/2011 15:06

I agree with all comments above and am so glad I read this post and that I am normal! My issue was becoming a WAHM and working around the kids. I became addicted to the damn laptop and was almost wishing my kids were not around so I could do my research. But I felt so guilty. Now, I hope I have the balance right by keeping the laptop closed when the kids are around and making time for them. I wrote about it only today in my Blog. Hopefully i'm allowed by Mumsnet to post a link to it at Snug Baby Blogger :-)

SnugBabyShop · 08/03/2011 15:10

Sorry, I meant to link to the actual post on Diary of a WAHM.

lenak · 08/03/2011 15:17

I went back to work when DD was 7 months old and I was more than ready for it. I was starting to go stir crazy at home.

The thought of having to be a SAHM fills me with abolsute dread and I was a better parent when I was back at work.

I adore DD but I valued our time together more after I went back to work. I felt that she got more positive attention from me than when I was at home because when we were together I was focussed solely on her rather than doing the housework / cooking / washing etc.

DH, conversly would absolutely love to be a SAHD if we could afford it, and I would be happy for him to do it.

mumtorobbie · 08/03/2011 15:49

Oh god, me too.

I thought I'd love being a SAHM but it drove me to the edge of lunacy plus I wasn't going to waste 15 years of work experience changing nappies and baking sodding cupcakes.

In this day and age its madness to rely on one wage anyway and I was never going to let my poor DH shoulder the burden of being the only breadwinner. Also, the day I have to ask my DH if I can buy a dress because I don't have my own money will be the day hell freezes over.

TBH, I just don't get SAHM's really.

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