Anyone else in situation where you and partner are both self-employed creatives? How do you manage kids too?

[Quodlibet]

Hi there

Looking for some alternative perspectives on this really as I am driving myself mad wondering how we'll ever manage to have children and retain our careers.

Bit of background; both DP and I work are self-employed creatives in quite volatile fields (me in theatre, him in music) so no job security. Our careers have both taken off in the last couple of years and in some ways we're well placed and starting to get established. However, we're both in the position where work frequently demands all our time and attention (7 day weeks, travel away etc) for unpredictable periods.

We have talked endlessly round and round when to TTC, which we're sure we want to do together, but we're both extremely aware that if we go off-radar or lose momentum, our careers could very quickly go down the shitter, frankly. I am lucky in that I can potentially arrange my career to go down to part-time with bursts of full-time, but if his career success continues he will only get busier for the foreseeable future. We've both spent years building our careers and both love what we do, so it's a real emotional dilemma.

Financially it will be difficult for us to cope on less than both our incomes; the thought of ever being able to afford childcare seems hopeless.

Anyone been there/done that/lived to tell the tale? Anyone with any alternative perspectives they can offer?

My partner and I are both self employed creatives. He's a photographer and I'm a make up artist. We do tend to have jobs on a day to day or few days at a time basis rather than long bursts so, in theory, if we have a baby we decided that whoever is offered the best day rate gets to take the job.

We don't have a child as yet so whether that will work in real life remains to be seen!

DH does stuff in schools, I count beans
DD is 12, DS is 10
we've both been free range since DD was born.
Up months and down months.
We have a multilevel google calendar that lets us juggle home and work.
I used to take the kids with me when they were little
DH earns more than me so he takes priority
our peak seasons do not overlap (utter fluke)
and we both take the whole of August off to be with the kids
before school, I had a tame childminder who could do short notice half days (no parents able to cover ever)
you just cope, and adapt and think sideways!
kids come to my meetings or help DH on their inset days sometimes

Partner went self employed before our daughter was born as it was the only way he could have long pat leave and see her (City big firm). So he is financial and I'm creative. He takes precedence as he earns much more than me - I can only take homeworking writing projects and can't go inhouse, which has lost me some jobs but that's how it is...

I do design a newsletter but it's unpaid charity work, which can be fitted around my commitments. Trouble is I'm switching from journalism to advertising and the deadlines are a killer. I have to wake up early, work at weekends, work at night... My daughter is at preschool for only a few hours a day. When my partner needed to work at weekends on a project it was pretty grim for me.

Now he has decided to stick around for a bit as I have been feeling as a single working parent for months (when on a project, he goes at 6.30 and comes back at 9.30pm or later). All his projects and mine are hardly planned and our clients think we are ready for action at all times. Mine think I'm attached to the internet intravenally (which I'm in a way as I have to check emails all the time).