How do you decide what you want?

[kitkatred]

This might be a bit long...

Am currently on mat leave with DS1 - due back in September. I've decided that there's no way I'm returning to my old job (hate the people, the work, the prospects everything) so am resigning soon. I don't need to work financially, and we want more children at some point. I also love my day to day life at the moment!

However, I've worked very hard throughout my life to get the position I'm in now, and whilst I don't want to stay working in my particular area, I'm not sure I want to leave the world of work entirely and/or not work for years whilst having more children and then be at risk of not finding anything decent on my return.

I've been offered a job which is FT at the moment with the option of PT/flexi-time in the relatively (6m-12m) future. However it's a new area for me and so I'd need to stick at it for a good few years before getting pregnant again. It'd also be fairly full-on: we'd need a nanny for at least 12hrs/day (DH isn't around for childcare purposes during the week - he works crazy hours). However I think that I'd really enjoy it, and it's got very good long-term prospects if you stick at it and are good at it.

I just don't know what's best. Part of me wants this shot at a new career, and part of me thinks that it's not right for both DH and I to be so career-focused and that I should focus on being a mummy and having more children (and do voluntary work etc to keep my brain occupied) - I know that a lot of people would love to not to have to work. I do think I'd enjoy being at home, but I'm worried that there would always be a part of me which regretted not seeing where I could get to in a career.

This career path won't be open to me in 5/10 years time. I've also looked into PT roles but am getting fed up of being told that I'm over-qualified...

Any thoughts? Anyone else been in this position?

Thanks

Give it a go. If it doesn't work out you haven't lost anything.

Mind you, is that what you really want? Sounds to me as if you want to stay home and have babies and there's nothing wrong in that at all! There will always be jobs but you won't be fertile forever (as I am finding out!).

I had to leave my job when DP got a new job in a different city while I was on maternity leave. I willingly support him getting into a better position - his is the main earner for us. However I have struggled to get into part time work for the last 7 years, juggling fixed term contracts and DD childcare. Go for the FT position and show what you are made of - then if even after 2 weeks you are struggling they may be willing to let you work flexi-hours/PT, etc. They are legally obliged to let you go PT if you have caring responsibilities in any case - check with a union/Equalities and Human Rights Commission what your rights are on this.

Then you will have a PT job you love and time with lots of lovely children.

Not been in the same position but new role sounds ideal if you can give it a good shot ft without feeling too guilty about not being at home in the short-run. Not true by the way that a co. is legally obliged to give you a pt job if you decide to ask for it after 2 weeks -all they have to do is consider your request for p/t and can turn it down if they have business reasons against it. Would have thought if you negotiate p/t for 6 -12 months' time up-front, you also need to try to stick to that side of bargain if at all possible in order not to kill any goodwill you may have as soon as you start.
I'd try it out if I were you- you can always give up and be a sahm if you decide it isn't for you.
good luck