Feel sorry for myself - why does co-worker seem to hate me now I've returned from mat leave?

[Mrstryingtohaveitall]

Above says it all. I took a year's maternity leave, returned 5 months ago. I trained up the woman who covered for me and I thought we were getting on well, got very close and bonded through the common ground of motherhood. Basically, long story short, I requested flexible working as I wanted to work 3 days on my return to work. This was refused and I was given a 3 day job in the same team with my maternity cover taking over my role. Since I've returned she's stonewalled me. On a personal level she's rude and hardly talks to me, leaves me out of little things like lunches and coffee runs. In my presence she can hardly make eye contact or will be extra negative regarding all work issues etc. I realise that she is probably embrassed that I've taken her role but I've made this clear, indirectly, that I have no problem with this as I have the job I want. I almost feel that she's bullying me... I feel anxious in work, all my confidence seems to be going. What irrates me is that I've worked there 12 years and she's been there 5 minutes!

Why are people so horrible!! Fed up....

How have you taken 'her' role? She's just doing the same role she was doing before by the sounds of things - your mat cover only now on a permanent basis. Or have I understood wrong?

Have you actually asked her? My immediate suggestion would be to invite her out for a coffee somewhere, then lay it on the table and say since your return you've felt she's done x,y,z and you would like to clear the air a bit, find out if there's anything you can do to make things better and find out whether there is a specific concern she has.

Sorry - made a mistake - we basically swapped roles as I could only work 3 days so she now does the job I did before mat leave.

In a way I dont even want to give her the satisfaction that it's annoying me!

Go to your line manager and complain if you think it is a bullying issue

I imagine if you handle her childish behavious in such an incredibly mature manner she will not get any satisfaction but will be very embarrassed.

It sounds rubbish for you. I would be tempted to look for another job if you have enough time there to look respectable on your CV. Would working FT really be out of the question? If you could work FT this opens up the possibilities.

Have you tried talking to her about it? Like ask her is she wants to go for a coffee. If she says no, then tell her you'd like to speak to her personally.

Ask her how she feels about you being back. Say you feel she is stonewalling you, making constant negative comments and being rude at times. Before you go to a line manager you'd like to h=give her the opportunity to explain herself.

I do not know what your field of work is butt jobs are hard to come by atm and you've been with the company for so long. Do not let this hot shot put you down and bully you out. Master your courage and speak to her.

If you get on well with your line manager I'd warn him before you talk to her so he knows you try to solve the problem yourself. You don't want her to complain about you!!

but, not butt...sry

Is she out of her depth in your job, or is she jealous you have gone down to three days a week?

Thanks for the responses so far. Luckily I have a great relationship with my line manager and since I've been back at work I have mentioned to him a number of times my issue of her stonewalling me.

To answer TotalChaos questions: Yes, I believe she is out of her depth. She was taken on as a personal favour to somebody and I know her capabilities as I trained her for 6 months. She also may have an issue with me being part time as she requested to work 4 days and this was denied as I was given a part time role and one of us needed to be here 5 days a week.
Snowcake - your sentence about dont let her bully me out is a good one.

Basically, my view is she's gotten too big for her boots. I just worry that she's out to sabotage my new role. Call it paranoia perhaps but I just get that feeling. I dont have any other team members other than her so it's difficult not to feel neglected when there's nobody else to discuss it with.

I do really enjoy my role and the company I work for is great. She's the only fly in the ointment.

Mrs, it does sound like sour grapes on her part because you work pt, and also if she is struggling with the job then she is probably projecting her unhappiness/ fears onto others (you I mean).

Regarding the feeling that she wants to sabotage you - I know that most people will tell you that it is paranoid thinking. However, you must trust your instinct, as unconcious people like this can cause havoc if you're not careful around them.

Forewarned is forearmed. You can protect yourself from sabotage without getting involved with her. Any joint working - remember to minute EVERYTHING. Avoid having to have private conversations with her - try to have others present. Be very polite and considerate to her - don't lose your cool around her.

Hopefully she will get fed up and move onto someone else.

And chin up - you know you are a good person - don't let it get to you