is it reasonable to swap play dates with other mums at school?

[marykat2004]

At the moment I volunteer, so paying for childcare is not really affordable.

I am wondering if it is reasonable to offer a couple of days a week in exchange for a couple of days of after school care? A few times I've been stuck over half terms and emailed the entire class's mums, only to feel embarrassed because most of them were off on fancy holidays. I have only one child, and no experience of what is appropriate.

DH is too ill to look after DD any more. So either I can give up volunteering or try to arrange swaps with other mums.

Any advice appreciated.

thank you

I know people who do this and it works very well for them. Why not ask?

I would check about regulations though - I seem to remember a story about two police women doing the same thing, being prosecuted for 'illegal childminding' but maybe got the wrong end of stick.

If you are working for free, is is really difficult to take time off over half term to be with your child?

But an after school care "swap" no and then is fine. And alternate "childcare" over half term is fine too. But must be planned in advance.

Be careful though. People have been prosecuted for this, as you need to be registered if you are offering regular childcare, and this exact type of thing was interpreted as regular childcare. Crazy I know.

Oh, now I read Normantebbit's comment. Doh!

it's not swapping playdates it's childcare swapping so you need to be upfront about that

and I think there's regulations about doing it

sorry about your DH

But the odd play date here and there, is that legal? I hadn't even thought about the legal thing. We have had quite a few play dates since DD had her room done up, because there is room to play and she wanted to have friends over. I remember now hearing about those policewomen. Thanks for reminding me about it.

I usually take the half terms off, but the time I referred to was when my mum was meant to be 'helping' me, so I had said I'd go in (just 1 day a week), but my mum fell over and had to go to hospital. So I emailed the school mums, and they were all on posh holidays. So it was a bit last minute.

Personally, I think if you can get this going then great. Just thinking of that case is all.

email the whole class and ask if anyone would like to join a babysitting circle for after-school

I think you can google the way to set one up

The two policewomen case was thrown out of court - and since the change in government, OFSTED has had its wings MASSIVELY clipped.
Barter arrangements are now outside its remit.

I gave a friend of DS a lift to and from school for a term while his normal lift could not drive.
When I need the cover in May, they will give DS the lifts

I'm also a believer in generation deferred reciprocal.
My mum was on her own. Lots of other mums helped her out, she could never pay them back.
I am not on my own. I always help out the mums who need it - lifts, car shares, rainy day pickups etc.

IMHO its called manners

cheers

in which case go for it

I wouldn't mind but then my house is overrun at all times with additional children and I don't really notice them anymore

in fact there are 2 extras here atm

Exellent news TalkinPeace2.

TalkinPeace2, that is very interesting. Actually I was going to mention I have 2 CRB checks anyway, for volunteering plus a school club I do, but I would assume the policewomen also had their CRB checks in order.

Thanks to all.

CRB checks are about to be scaled right back too as they are a total waste of money and time.
Three recent abuse cases have involved people who HAD them !!
CRB will soon only be for unsupervised work with the same children more than once a week
which will release millions of pounds back into school budgets and stop the insanity of PE teachers having 7 certs on the go!

CRB checks didn't come out of school budgets anyway.

And I don't want anyone grooming my children. Terrible idea to scale them back just because the system needs improving.

CRB fees of £60 a time for every paid employee most certainly did get paid by LEAs
and every contractor factored them into their fees
and they have not stopped the problem, just given some people a false sense of security that "the system" will take responsibility

It's another topic entirely, that the sad and horrifying fact seems to be that mpost abuse abuse takes place within the family, or friends of the family. I have never met anyone who was bused by a stranger in a school or nursery. Those are merely headline grabbing stories, about workers.

I like what TalkinPeace says about manners, but most of the mums at my DD's school have power jobs, 2-3 children, and a nanny. But I shall try anyway.

Just because they have a nanny doesn't mean they wont swap some play dates with you - the children still want to do them and the nanny will have other children to look after/things she can do.

Go for it - if anyone were to complain, just tell them you are helping with the 'Big Society'

Marykat
Nannies should not be an issue - kids I was at school with had nannies and chauffeurs - but they like parents like a bit of variety of an afternoon.

Chipping - LOVE the big society comment!!